[ShannonMVT]

I need ideas for how to get Matthew to sleep without BFing and rocking to sleep. I love him and BFing him and I don't mind BFing him to sleep but it is getting draining. I have to be on call and in charge 24/7. I can't ever let someone else babysit him. The only way he goes to sleep is BFing or in the car. Nothing else works, he never just "drifts off". He's a tummy sleeper and if I put him down drowsy he wiggles around and then eventually gets overtired and starts crying. Crying progresses to screaming if I don't BF him.

The big problem now is he wakes up a lot of times once I put him down. Then since he's gotten a few minutes of sleep in my arms he gets a second wind and won't go back down. Then gets overtired and that leads to all sorts of problems.

I'm envisioning having a 2 year old that will only fall asleep on my boob.

He won't take a pacifier, he's extremely interested in everything around him and will not self soothe. If I play music or have something in his crib for him, he just stares at it but doesn't go to sleep.

A couple of families I babysit for have Ipods with speakers {or generic MP3 players} and play Baby music softly at nap and night time. That way he couldn't see it??

Maybe you could use it as a cue while you hold him for a couple of nights?

[ShannonMVT]

I forgot to mention I have white noise going in his nursery and that is supossed to be his sleep cue. Ack gotta go he woke up again.

Shan, you know I feel for you on this as I have BTDT, I know how draining it is, I know how much you want a break (despite Matthew being your entire life, and no matter how much you love him - you just want someone else to do it for a litle while), I used to cry whilst BFing and willing Kirsty just go to sleep PLEASE.

The only thing that helped us was Kirsty accepting the dummy, had she not I would still be BFing now (not sure if I posted here that we weaned a month ago).

I know you feel like this will never end, but it will. He will learn eventually, he just needs to be "shown the ropes". Have you persevered with the paci at all? It literally took us months to help Kirsty learn what it was for.

I think I told you before, the way it happened for us, we were in the car - DH driving, Kirsty & I passengers, Kirsty was extremely tired and cranky, so I held her arms down (not aggresively!), and popped the dummy in her mouth, held it until she started sucking, she was really tired and so it instantlly helped her fall asleep, I just let her keep sucking as she slept. From there on she loved it.

I think being in the car, the motion, and being sleepy already but just not quite able to settle really helped as she couldn't help but snatch at this sucky thing which kinda resembled a booby.

Have you tried to offer the dummy when he is asleep? I know it sounds odd, but if you were to tickle his lip with the teat as you might with the breast for a feed? He might open up and take it in but with him being asleep not realise it's a dummy.

I know you run the risk of him waking up and you're back to square 1 having to BF to sleep again. It may or may not work.

[LisanAndy]

I totally understand hun. I have switched her totally to formula now but she had 4.5 months of EBF so I'm proud of that, but I do miss nursing. When I was starting the transition she didn't want to take the bottle but I worked on it with her over a few days and then she was fine with it. I'm sure you could use pumped BM instead. I LOVE having Andy's help now

[Resi]

I'm no help at all. Oliver still falls asleep BF in my arms. He never can fall asleep by himself. When he is with his Grandma or Daddy they rock or hold him until he falls asleep. Usually it's with a bottle or a pacifer if he will take it.

[IamMom]

Every baby is different and different methods work for different babies. My son was rocked and fed a bottle to go to sleep and he developed the bad habit of needing that to go to sleep all the time every time like Matthew. I had to break him of it with a little bit of graduated CIO (graduated extinction). unfortunately when babies develop these sleep associations to break them of it a couple of bad nights or weeks usually must occur to "train" them otherwise. Most babies learn quickly though and a couple of nights is all it took. There is a good book I've read if you're not into crying methods called "The no - cry sleep solution" and it has some good ideas especially for BF'ers. But again....moms must be tough in training their babies to sleep by themselves. Now Nora is also fed and rocked to sleep however, she gets put down a little bit awake and goes right to sleep...I know she wakes up at night as all babies do - but she must put herself to sleep because for several weeks now she's been sleeping 9 - 10 hours straight at night. So even though she gets the same bedtime routine as Harrison did she doesn't need the rocking and feeding to fall back asleep at night as Harrison did. So all babies are different. Some learn to sleep easy and some learn to sleep harder.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel Shannon and soon this will all be a distant memory. Harrison is an excellent sleeper now....so its all worth it. Actually this morning he came into my room at 6:30 and woke me up and told me he had to go pee...I thought for sure he was up for the day...but he went pee and started to walk back out of my room and I said - do you want to lay in here with mommy and he said (and I quote) "Mommy...we don't sleep in other people's beds, we sleep in our own beds, and I can go back to my bed all by myself". Praise God...the child listens to what I say. He sleep another hour then before he got up for good!

[ShannonMVT]

Originally Posted by I Love Harrison Boo

and he said (and I quote) "Mommy...we don't sleep in other people's beds, we sleep in our own beds, and I can go back to my bed all by myself". Praise God...the child listens to what I say. He sleep another hour then before he got up for good!

Go Harrison!!

I know he must be able to get himself back to sleep some of the time. He will still give me about a 7 hr stretch once he finally goes down for the night. And this morning when he woke he was still tired so I just fed him and put him back down. I saw he woke and wiggled around about an hour and a half into the nap but he went right back to sleep. So I know he can do it, it's just that he doesn't a lot of the time.

I'd let Dh give him a bottle but when he takes from a bottle he just drinks it till it's gone. Then he cries when it's gone even when he is full.

I will have to try giving him a paci sometime when he is asleep Fi. I have not tried that yet.

I know it could be a lot worse, he could be waking even more than he is. I have grandparents saying they will watch him to give me a break and I wish I could accept but it makes me anxious b/c I know he will end up screaming when he gets overtired and they can't get him to sleep.

[Frozendesire]

Shannon, it seems like the only way I can get him to sleep is to nurse/cuddle.. but Grandma can rock him to sleep SO easily! He is just super smart and knows what he wants/needs from us is different.

You never know he may be totally fine with being rocked to sleep by others even when all you can do (right now) is nurse to sleep.

I don't have much to say to the other stuff as I have always just nursed my babies to sleep. They did the wake up every once and a while till finally falling asleep for the night. I just enjoyed it and accepted it cause I didn't mind. It just didn't bother me. I hope you find something that works for the two of you very soon

[ShannonMVT]

Originally Posted by Frozendesire

Shannon, it seems like the only way I can get him to sleep is to nurse/cuddle.. but Grandma can rock him to sleep SO easily! He is just super smart and knows what he wants/needs from us is different.

You never know he may be totally fine with being rocked to sleep by others even when all you can do (right now) is nurse to sleep.

I don't have much to say to the other stuff as I have always just nursed my babies to sleep. They did the wake up every once and a while till finally falling asleep for the night. I just enjoyed it and accepted it cause I didn't mind. It just didn't bother me. I hope you find something that works for the two of you very soon

Dh tried rocking him to sleep and he screamed but he was also overtired that night. He's always cried when Dh tried another way to get him to sleep.

How did you transition from nursing to sleep to not nursing when Curtis weaned? I'm worried about how he'll do with that when the time comes (though it won't be for awhile).

The last two nights have gone better since I moved his bedtime up earlier. He is still waking, but I can BF him back to sleep and he is not all overtired and crazy and not wanting to go to sleep.

Oh and can I just vent here and say my MIL is really pushing CIO now. Or I guess more of a controlled crying, but still. She's acting like it's the only thing that will work and when I told her I was going to read the No Cry Sleep Solution she acted like there was no way it would work.

The sad thing is she saw his screaming fit that he threw when he got overtired and I wasn't there to BF him and she was totally traumatized by it. Yet now she thinks I should let him cry when she KNOWS that is what is going to happen. I don't think so!

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

If you find something that works please let me know! Landen still falls asleep on booby