Big updates.

LaLaRose3 · #1 October 8th, 2009, 12:37 PM

Hello girls.

I had a doctor appointment today to go over some blood work. Turns out I have Lupus. I didn't get a lot of info about what exactly it is, so I am doing a little bit of internet research. I just know that I feel like complete crud. And I am worried about what this disease entails. I have to go to a Rheumatologist (sp?) to get more blood work done and to figure out a plan of treatment. I am freaked out and feeling depressed

In other news, I moved out of the house William and I shared. We are now separated. We are not talking divorce yet, but I don't know what the future holds. I am sick of being treated badly, and I know I deserve more than that. He is a great father to Alice, but a miserable husband. We are 'sharing' Alice now... I never wanted this for my daughter, but it is better, I believe, than her hearing Mommy and Daddy fight all the time. I do not want her to grow up thinking that this is how a husband should treat his wife. I do not want her to see her Mommy getting treated this way... and the only thing I could do at this point was leave. We are getting along much, much better now- haven't had a fight in weeks. Only time will tell what happens next.

I still love him more than words could say, but I just didn't know what else to do. I moved in with my mom for now, and Alice and I share a bedroom. It isn't ideal, but I think it is what is best right now. My dad and stepmother moved to Austin, Texas for her job and left their house empty, so I *may* move in there... Alice and I would both have our own bedrooms and lots of space, plus I would only have to pay the utilities. Like I said, I do not know what the future holds now, but I have hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyway, if you got to the end of this, thanks for reading. I love you girls, and am glad I have your support. I am trying to get online more often now that I have a new computer. Love you all!

*Mrs.J.2011* · #2 October 8th, 2009, 01:18 PM

I dont know too much about lupus, but I hope the drs are able to give you the best treatment!

Growing up in a home with a lot of arguing and a father who until 3 years ago, wasnt a great husband (but a good dad) I give you so much credit for separating. Alice doesnt deserve to grow up with all the yelling. You are an incredible woman and even more incredible mother.. As long as he treats her the way a daughter should be treated, I think you've done a great thing!

lots of hugs to you and Alice!

**Jenn** · #3 October 8th, 2009, 01:20 PM

Oh Lauren, I'm so sorry things have been so sucky these days! I really hope that the two of you can work things out if that's what is best for all of you. But good for you for standing up for yourself and showing William that he can't treat you badly anymore. You're setting a great example for Alice!

And I'm sorry about your lupus diagnosis. I don't know what all that entails but I'm sure theres other ladies on here that might! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers that things start looking up really soon! *HUGS*

KatiInCT · #4 October 8th, 2009, 01:36 PM

I hope that you are able to control your Lupus. I was having some bad joint problems in college and received a positive on the ANA test but after my visit with the rheumatologist he determined that it was a false positive and I just have 'benign joint hypermobility syndrome'. At my last physical my doctor to retested the ANA just to confirm the previous false positive and the test was negative. I hope your visit with the rheumatologist goes well!

It takes a lot of strength to realize something is wrong in a relationship and be willing to do something about it. You and Alice will be in my thoughts!

..Christine.. · #5 October 8th, 2009, 02:58 PM

I hope you get some answers on the lupus- I have known some women who have had it but I don't know much about it.

I'm glad that you are doing what's best for you and Alice- you seem very strong! As Kati said it does take a lot of strength to do what you are doing! I hope everything works out for the best for you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Chelnae6 · #6 October 8th, 2009, 03:30 PM

I'm sorry to hear about you and DH. I'm sure that its for the best for both you, him and most importantly, Alice.

Do you know what type of Lupus you have? I know that there are certain types with one being more serious than others. I know that there are a lot of good and positive treatments out there so you should be fine and able to live and see Alice have children.

midnight_starr · #7 October 8th, 2009, 05:05 PM

(((HUGS)))

If I remember correctly I think Sam also has lupus (right?) maybe you can talk to her about it...

I'm so sorry things are cruddy right now..

IamMom · #8 October 8th, 2009, 06:41 PM

Oh Lauren...I hope that it all works out with what is the best for you and Alice....you do have to think about your kids before yourself, the joys of a being a mother! My husband has RA - he sees a rheumatologist and they are great doctors for this kind of stuff. I hope that they figure things out regarding the lupus and you start to feel better. HUGS hun!

#9 October 8th, 2009, 07:00 PM

Lauren! I know alot about Lupus, and I know Ali {Allison81} has it and Sam, too, I think-- someone else on the board has it, so maybe you can find supoort here.

I am very proud of you for standing up for yourself and setting a good example for Alice-- althought she doesn't know it yet.

You are in my thoughts!!

Mjp121212 · #10 October 8th, 2009, 08:04 PM

I understand more than you know that you don't want this for your daughter.....but believe me you also don't want her growing up to think daddy's can treat mommies bad----men treat women bad, etc. Brayden has done SO much better since we left!

LisanAndy · #11 October 9th, 2009, 04:14 AM

I'm so sorry about all the stuff you're going through right now. Praying everything gets better soon ((HUGS))

Mars · #12 October 9th, 2009, 05:22 AM

I'm sorry things have not been going too well. I hope you get some answers and they help you control the lupus.

I understand what you mean when you talk about the decision to move out and I do agree with you. We all hope that we can have a great relationship to raise our child(ren) in but if things aren't going well, you have to think of the lessons your child(ren) will learn from being in a family that is disfunctional. It's not an easy thing but hopefully the separation will allow both of you to re-evaluate and then see if you can work things out.

I'm happy you have options for living arrangements and I hope that everything goes well.

(((HUGS)))

Resi · #13 October 9th, 2009, 05:38 AM

I think you did the right thing for the both of you. I hope that it all works out for the best.

Yes, Sam has lupus. She hasn't been posting much on here but I'm sure she would be happy to talk to you about it.

Big hugs! Hang in there.

enchantingdragon · #14 October 9th, 2009, 06:38 AM

I havent been here for a while but I wanted to say I am sorry you are having a hard time right now.

I do have some information on lupus that might help though. Two years ago I went in to see a podiatrist as my feet were constantly hurting and I had to get blood work done. When I came back he told me I had lupus and I had to see a rheumathologist. (sp?) This freaked me out a bunch but when I met the rheumatologist she did more blood work and said I did not in fact have lupus. There is something called the lupus factor that can show up in some people's blood. Think of it as a false positive. You might just be prone to the first factor but after more blood work it can eliminate lupus. That was the case for me and I hope it is for you too. Best wishes.

freesiangel · #15 October 9th, 2009, 08:51 AM

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time right now, Lauren! (((huggles)))

I think you made a great choice with moving out. Your little girl does not need to see you being treated poorly.

Good luck getting more answers on the Lupus.

~*sierra*~ · #16 October 9th, 2009, 08:57 AM

*hugs* i hope your feeling better and i'm glad you've made some decisions that you feel good about. i was also going to suggest talking to sam.

petalfuzz · #17 October 9th, 2009, 11:00 AM

You'll be in my thoughts for shure! My aunt has lupus and has had it for years. She's fine most of the time except for occasional flare ups. Plus, maybe you don't have it after all! There's always hope.

As for moving out, it was a very tough situation but it sounds like it was for the best. Again, my thoughts are with you.

soImarriedAnerd · #18 October 9th, 2009, 10:39 PM

sorry all this is going on.

*krista* · #19 October 11th, 2009, 06:37 PM

:dothugs:

I know that must have been a tough diagnosis to hear. I don't know much about lupus, but I did a quick google just to get an idea of what it is. With all this talk about false positives, though, I hope that is the case with you!