Dear Cam and or Kay {or Mommy's little Cameron Mitchell or Mikayla Jewel},
Mommy knows at this point you won't be joining us this July. The BFN and toilet paper told her so. Even though some of her TTC sisters may say "it's not over til til the witch shows", Mommy knows, and you know, from Heaven, having chosen us already as your Mommy and Daddy, that you won't be born this July. Tomorrow is Day 1 of our chance of you being born in August.

You know Mom is sad, and deeply deeply so. You have been in her heart deeply as she lied in bed most of the day picturing you and the laughs we will have. She will now be the oldest Mom on both sides of her family, being 25 or 26 when you are born, and the hysterectomy risk rises, yet you know how she and Daddy pray for you. You also know she's had a bottle of wine herself tonight, forgiving her, because you know how much she aches for you-- she knows you try to show her glimmers of hope and 29 days of of 30, they keep her going, really.

The outfit Grandma S. bought for you this month may not fit as well next winter, but we push on with hope. Mommy may have to endure an entire summer in the third trimester, but no matter. You also know, Cameron and Mikayla, that Mom's having a hard time being patient with Dad for STILL not seeing his doctor. She is TRYING to be patient, but the patience lead to the wine. This month, he will see his Dr. Not just because he promises, but because Mommy is tired of trying her best when Daddy isn't doing the same.

Mick, I can't wait to play dress up and tea and show you the romance Mommy sees behind the Cinderella Castle. Cam--- I can't wait to see your face the first time you splash in a mud puddle, or pet your cousin's puppy, or the first time either of you discover something I forgot "hide" or "put away" from you. I imagine you both full of wonder, possibility and promise. Every tear I shed, every tear I cry, every month-- every EVERYTHING, it will all be worth it when I am finally your mother, Mikayla Jewel and Cameron Mitchell.

[*vi]

That's really sweet Michelle.

[LisanAndy]

Very sweet Michelle ((HUGS))

[Mars]

That's really sweet Michelle but it makes me so sad as well. I am hoping and praying for you guys to get that BFP. You so deserve it and I know that you two will be fantastic parents.

[IamMom]

That was so beautiful Michelle....I cannot imagine how strong you must be to wait like you are....you are an amazing woman. I was really crying at the boy jumping in mud puddles mind picture because just yesterday my son was doing that after we got done kayaking and the look on his face and the laughter belowing out of him made my heart grow a thousand times! I hope I appreciate being a mother as much as I know you will. You will have all of that someday girl.....HUGS!

[*krista*]

[~Caroline~]

I don't know what else to say.

[HopeWishWait]

Well I don't know about anyone else but I'm crying. Love ya Michelle, you are so strong!

[petalfuzz]

Awww! That brought tears to my eyes! I hope Mike is able to follow through with his appointment. You know we are all rooting for you every month. We love you, Michelle!

[midnight_starr]

Yep you made me cry.. (((HUGS)))

[♥Ashley♥]

Yep, im crying at work. ((((((HUGS))))))))

[Resi]

I hope it does happen for the two of you very soon.

[szczepanski]

Hugs Michelle. Maybe you should show this to Mike? It might encourage him to go to the dr. a little more.

Thanks ladies. It was just something I had to write in a huge catharsis. My babies aren't 'ideas' in my head. They are babies I will one day hold, adults I will one day be proud of. The appointment is taken care of. If he's busy working, I have plenty of time to make appointments, and I did. Thank you for sharing in that with me. I've been having a hard time not feeling a part of the "Mom' club, but in my heart, I really AM. Maybe not PHYSICALLY yet. The physical part just needs to happen.

[Trannyfromtheuk]

Oh hon, Ive never read anything like thatbefore xx

[ANGWife]

Love you!