[~*sierra*~]

my sil won't put her baby on her actual nipple. i'm not sure what to say/do.
since her nipples got scabby and cracked/bleeding she began pumping and her supply is great with pumping. her nipples have since healed and she found a nipple shield at a store and has been using that to put baby to breast for 1.5 days while still offering him bottles of bmilk but i just dont understand why she doesnt put him right on there without the shield. i am positive i cant understand what its like for her but i just wish she would try....when itry to encourage her she gets really snarky with me. i'm just trying to get her to do what is best for the baby though.....ugh frustrating. i feel like he really wants to be on the breast, he tries do latch on to my shirt all the time.....what would u do?

[IamMom]

You need to just let mommy and baby do their own thing together....nothing will work right or feel right for either if its forced by an outside party...even the lactation consultant at both hospitals I had babies at told me that...cause I've always been a bit uncomfortable with the whole bf'ing thing (Different issue but there are oh so many issues that can pop up with bf'ing). I would give you SIL time to get comfortable with taking off the shield and discovering on her own that it won't hurt or that she wants too or doesn't want to. I didn't BF either of my babies all that long because I am just not a good producer and maybe this has something to do with the mind controlling the body and I never ever did feel all that comfortable - especially in public....but I think honestly you have to let the mother do what she is comfortable with in her own time or it will all go worse in the end. Maybe the other gals will have more advice on how to help...but I'm a big believer in letting the mommy and baby do what is right for them and not what is "right" in other peoples eyes. Good luck!

[LisanAndy]

The only way the nipple will toughen up is to not use a shield and just nurse. My nipples were sore for about a week and cracked and bled a tiny bit starting day 4 and ended on day 6 or 7 if I remember correctly. I would recommend Lansinoh. It protects your nipples while in the shower (which is actually painful when the water hits your nipples when you're new to BF) and the baby can nurse if it's on and it won't hurt them. All babies do have the routing reflex though so he might just be letting you or his mommy know he's hungry. Taylor never had breast milk and still routed at my chest until she was about 2 months old. I must say, after doing both, I MUCH preferred BF. I got more sleep then I EVER had with Taylor and it's such an amazing experience That being said, she has to do what's right for her and her baby. I'm sure she'll decide what she'll want to do sooner or later

[~*sierra*~]

thank you sosoosososososo much for the advice. i'm so torn here!
sil tried the lansinoh, without much relief.

we just had a little talk about bf and i just voiced my opinions about how beneficial it is. i feel fine with that and i think i will just back off about the whole thing. i hope she can work soemthing out that works for both her and her baby boy. he is so sweet i'm just in love

[*krista*]

I think you are making a good choice to back off a bit. Breast milk is breast milk, no matter where it is coming from. Baby will do great either way!

I know it is probably hard though because we can all tell you are head over heels for this little man! I don't blame you.

I would leave her alone She is pumping, and that does a baby just fine too. She is most likely traumatized about her nipples getting roughed up. While some women just move beyond it, others decide to pump or take longer to try and latch the baby again. Right after a baby is born is a tough time for a lot of mommies, so just continue to give her your support and try not to sweat exactly how she feeds the baby. That's my advice! You are a good sil though for worrying and wanting to help

[ShannonMVT]

Originally Posted by MomToJack

I would leave her alone She is pumping, and that does a baby just fine too. She is most likely traumatized about her nipples getting roughed up. While some women just move beyond it, others decide to pump or take longer to try and latch the baby again. Right after a baby is born is a tough time for a lot of mommies, so just continue to give her your support and try not to sweat exactly how she feeds the baby. That's my advice! You are a good sil though for worrying and wanting to help

Just encourage her anytime she says anything about BFing and tell her she is doing great for giving her baby breast milk. And offer to help any way you can (which is sounds like you have been which is AWESOME). You can come be my honorary SIL anytime.

[Servilia]

I would let it be... I'm sure she has tried her best but if it's not comfortable for her I wouldn't push it. She's probably already feeling bad about it, I can't imagine that bringing it up would make her feel any better. The baby's getting breast milk either way.. I don't know your sil but you never know, bringing it up might make her defensive and have a negative effect on your relationship with her.. I might be completely wrong and full of hot air, but those are my two cents.

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

I would just leave her alone for now. When I first had Landen I felt like a bad mom anytime people gave me unasked for advice. Now that my hormones have calmed down I know they were only trying to help, but at the time it really upset me.

Sarah I just have to say that you are going to make an incredible mommy some day ! And I just know your going to be one of those super hot pregnant chicks that I hate LOL!!!!

[Resi]

I can understand you wanting to voice what is best for your nephew. I can also tell you are totally in love with him already. It does take a couple weeks to move past the cracked nipples and discomfort. After that it's usually smooth sailing. The good thing is she is pumping BM for him. That is the most important thing in the long run. The only problem with that is in the long run he might not be able to go back to her nipple if he gets too use to the bottle. But maybe she won't want to go back and only continue to pump. Pumping is hard work! Much harder than putting the baby to the breast. I guess the only thing you can do is be supportive and let her make her own choices since it's her body and baby. She is very lucky to have such a caring supportive SIL!

[**jessie**]

Sarah, it's so wonderful that you care so much. I wish I had such a great support person.

My advice would be to support her no matter she decides to do- be it bf'ing, pumping or formula. I think there is so much pressure out there to bf, that it can be quite distressing for a new mommy if it doesn't work for her. I am pumping, albeit for different reasons than your SIL. It was not a decision that came lightly. But I swear that all I hear is that if I had tried/would try harder then bf'ing would work. Everytime I hear that, I feel like a failure. So, I think that even though you only have the best of intentions, it probably hurts her feelings and feels as though you are criticizing her.

[**Jenn**]

I think you're making a wise decision in just backing off for now. If she asks for your advice or opinion then by all means express it but for now just let her and her new son figure things out for themselves. The first 2 weeks nursing are killer for me, complete with cracked and bleeding nipples. But I know it's something my body needs to go through in order to toughen up again and get used to newborn nursing. And the only way to get through it is just to keep nursing. Personally, I found pumping extremely exhausting, painful, and frustrating because apparently my boobs hate the pump and don't like to perform. But if it works for her then great! Breastfeeding is a supply and demand thing though so when he goes through a growth spurt she'll need to account for that and pump more frequently so her supply keeps up with him (if she doesn't want to supplement or anything).

I think its great that you are so supportive of her! I'd trade my wretched sil for you any day!

[Mars]

I can't add anything else that wasn't said. You're a great Aunty! Keep encouraging her to use breast milk, any method, as long as it's the breast milk is good.

[~*sierra*~]

thanks sooooooooo much for the input everyone. i think i was feeling really strongly about it because i know that SIL has not read anything about BF and the benefits of it, so i was worried that she would see only the negative (painful nipples) aspects of it. she told me today when i came home that she is planning on trying him on the boob tomorrow, i'm assuming with the shield. but that is a step in the right direction for sure. my mom came over to see payne today, it was cute, shannon could tell where i get my uncontrollable baby talking from LOL

also thanks all so much for the kind comments about my supporting SIL. i really enjoyed helping her with her labour, it was definitely an experience that changed me. i also love helping out with payne now, he is so sweet, such a good baby, he makes it easy its kinda neat that me and dh get a preview of what it will be like living with a newborn too.

and angela i really hope you are right about me being a hot prego chick! LOLLL buut i have a feeling u will still love me!