23/24 Week Midwife appt. and small update

**Jenn** · #1 November 24th, 2009, 12:28 PM

Everything is going very well. A completely uneventful appointment, which is how I like them. I did ask about the BHs and she said any more than 6 an hour and I need to call them. I won't because that would be several times a week but I guess if things feel "abnormal" to me then I'll call them. She's measuring great and getting more active. Her kicks and whatnot are getting pretty powerful and you can really see her going from the outside now. I'm officially above pre-pregnancy weight--2 pound weight gain so far this pregnancy so I'm getting there!

I've also scheduled a 3D/4D ultrasound for next month (the 21st). It's a Christmas present Ian and I have given ourselves. I'm hoping it will help with bonding to see her again and in 3D. I'm feeling pretty detached from her and it makes me feel like crap because I know I didn't feel like this when I was pregnant with the boys. It's probably just the crap load of stress and the fact that I don't have the time I did with the boys to devote to oohing and aahing over her pregnancy. I still haven't wrapped my head around the fact that she's a girl so I think that could be contributing to it too. Maybe if we're able to actually purchase a couple things for her that we have picked out will help too. I'm just hoping I feel something warm and fuzzy soon.

#2 November 24th, 2009, 12:56 PM

I bet it's simply because you were preggy with boys in the past... coupled with looking after 2 kids already, as you say, you don't have the time!!

What I used to do when pregnant, was every night when I went to bed, I'd lie on my back and play with Kirsty. I'd poke my tummy and she'd kick me

Or I'd try to feel her to see if I could determine body parts. Just "touching" the baby (I didn't know she was a she!) helped me sort of get to know her, even if it was through my tummy.

You still have plenty of preggy time yet to play with her and get to know her. Try not to feel bad about it as feeling bad will cloud your mind more than taking the time to relax with her.

**Jenn** · #3 November 24th, 2009, 01:05 PM

Thanks Fiona! I'll try that!

CandaceDianne · #4 November 24th, 2009, 01:23 PM

Glad the appt was uneventful.

Dont beat yourself up about not feeling like you are bonding with the baby. I like Fiona's idea.....I do that now, but really because I am trying so desperately to feel 'her'.

You still have time, so please dont feel bad!!

IamMom · #5 November 24th, 2009, 01:30 PM

I didn't go thru incredible bonding with either of my babies while in the womb...pregnancy is NOT the highlight of my life (if you can recall all of my marvelous conditions!!). But the minute those babies come out you know you feel like you've known them forever and that's how it will be with Lila....I wasn't super keen on having a baby girl if you remember

but I love her to pieces and I did the minute I saw her! Don't fret my dear - you're a terrific mommy to her even now!

Resi · #6 November 24th, 2009, 02:27 PM

It's always good to read your updates. I'm glad everything is moving right along. I bet it's hard to bond with two boys to chase after. The 3D U/S will be a nice way to get another good look at her.

LisanAndy · #7 November 24th, 2009, 04:26 PM

I also love reading your updates

For me, pregnancy is a great thing but I don't feel REALLY bonded with them until they're born anyway. Maybe it'll be the same for you? I can't imagine carrying a boy since I've had 2 girls, so I'm the opposite, but in a way I can imagine how strange it is to you. Glad everything went well at your appointment!

midnight_starr · #8 November 24th, 2009, 04:34 PM

Its great to hear from you! Glad your appointment went well!! I can't wait to meet your little girl!! I think your boys are just going to adore her!!

*krista* · #9 November 24th, 2009, 05:07 PM

I'm glad Lila is doing well! You should totally go back and read that thread I made where everyone posted their bonding experience when I was worried about not bonding -- everyone had really varied responses from bonding at BFP to days/weeks after birth. It is totally normal, don't feel bad.

bittersweet · #10 November 25th, 2009, 12:28 AM

Great update Jenn! You will love the 3d/4d u/s. That really helped me solidify there was a real little girl inside me. I felt a stronger bond after for sure. And I do what Fiona suggested. Some days I feel like I 'ignore' her, so at night that is our time to just reconnect.

#11 November 25th, 2009, 04:02 AM

I'm glad everything went uneventfully and that you have that u/s to look forward to! Sending warm and fuzzy

Mars · #12 November 25th, 2009, 05:01 AM

I'm glad all is going well! I do agree that the not feeling close to her may be due to having so much going on (two young boys to look after, etc). I think the 3D/4D U/S will help with that. Like Fi, I used to play with Amara at night. I'd put my hand on my tummy and she'd find the spot and keep kicking at it. She loved to kick, even now, I can't get her to stop kicking about.

*JenJen* · #13 November 25th, 2009, 05:39 AM

glad everything went well! I bet you will bond with her as much as you have with the boys, but life is just different now than when you had them and it will happen in different timing. I think Fi gave you a great suggestion for an idea to help. *hugs*