[*kyle*]

WARNING: This post contains lots of descriptive details of a fairly terrible medically induced labor. If you have been traumatized by your own experiences with a similar birth then read with caution or just skip down to the happy ending and pics.

Let's just consider this my birth story and get it over with. I'm sorry Angela, I know I promised I'd write London's before my own, but put it this way. All of the wonderful details of London's beautiful birth will stay with me for a lifetime... whereas I plan to disown the following story. There are several parts of it that are being worked on by my defense mechanisms as we speak and hopefully in about 3 more days I will have sublimated at least 75% of it to my murky subconscious...

I went in to the induction at 8 a.m. Ate a nice breakfast in the hospital cafeteria, although I and my doula both planned to sneak snacks into the room with us, lol. Once in the hospital room I gowned up and got the IV placed. They measured me at already 2 cm and 50% effaced upon arrival, so I thought this was a great sign. Pitocin was started at a fairly low dose. I called the doula a little bit later and started to feel some crampy contractions, but nothing big. About 2 hours later I was 3 cm and 70% effaced and texted Angela this update (as you all heard here). Unfortunately this is about where my dream birth ended and the reality began.

I was being checked fairly often and it was noted over the next 2-3 hours that I wasn't making much progress in my cervix nor feeling much more in the way of contractions. The nurse was cranking up the pitocin every single time she came in the room. By the late afternoon I was on the highest dose. I wasn't texting any updates because there really weren't any and I started to get a little anxious. Then my water broke on it's own and the contractions started coming super fast and super hard. It was the combination of the ridiculously high pitocin kicking in PLUS the water breaking. It was like going from day to night. I was determined to keep on laboring naturally so this is when I got into the tub. At first it was really relaxing, but the contractions just kept getting worse and so close together that I could hardly breathe. I was in the tub from probably 6 to 7 p.m. and it just wasn't doing it for me anymore. I switched to the shower, then tried a bunch of positions on the birthing ball, used my childbirth audio to use relaxation and breathing, I was up on the bed and down on the floor. The only thing that gave me even a little feeling of control was the breathing and relaxation. I was probably moaning loud enough for the whole floor to hear. It was the only thing that kept me feeling on top of the contractions, but barely. This went on until 11 p.m. My mom showed up about 9 p.m. and she later told me that I couldn't even focus my eyes. I barely even registered that she was there. I started throwing up my snacks and when I drank a little water I threw that up right away. I had also been shaking like a leaf for several hours. Now throughout this time I was actually making progress on dilation but the last thing I'd been told was that I was at an 8. It was taking about an hour and a half per cm and I couldn't even consider laboring this way for 3 more hours.

11 p.m. is when I finally turned to my doula, told her I just couldn't take it anymore and said the code word: Jose Cuervo. This was the code for the epidural. I felt that if I endured one more contraction I would lose my mind. Of course I did have to endure several more as I waited for the anesthesiologist. It did not even cross my mind that a needle was going into my spine. The minute I felt that numbness come over me I passed out. It was like instead of an epidural they had put me in a coma instead. I slept for 3 straight hours while my DH, mom, dad, sister and doula just kind of hung out in the waiting room. I woke up around 2 a.m. feeling somewhat refreshed. I was told I had dilated to 10 cm in my sleep and I could cut down the epidural and push with about half of the feeling I'd had before. The idea was that I could still feel contraction so I'd know when and how to push, but wouldn't be losing my mind. I agreed to this and a few minutes later sure enough, started to gain feeling back in my abdomen. Unfortunately, I gained no feeling back in my legs, they stayed completely numb. To get me pushing we started with some side lying and back lying positions. I kept hearing "you're pushing perfectly" and I know that I was doing it right because I pooped not once, but twice on the bed, lol. About an hour and a half into this I started to get some feeling back in my legs, and was told the baby's head had come down to +1 station. This gave me tons of hope. I determined to keep on pushing now. I was able to do a bunch of squatting and all-fours pushing, yet the baby's head was not descending. An hour and a half later the doctor gives me the bad news. The baby's head is now back up to 0 station. This is a serious sign of bad things. Possibly a short umbilical cord, or cord wrapped around baby's neck etc. She didn't think it was that because baby's heartrate wasn't decelerating. But she knew that it had to be something, even just being too big to fit through. She couldn't try vacuum unless we had a baby's head at least at the +1 station. I could keep pushing or do the c-section. I didn't even hesitate. It was 5 a.m., I'd been in labor for 20 hours, I was sick, exhausted, and I just needed this baby out of me.

They prepped me pretty quickly, my epidural was cranked back up to new heights, I was rolled into the OR, where a beehive full of doctors and nurses were busy buzzing around me, and a whole bunch of medical type things were happening all around me and I just told myself it'll be over soon. Eric came in dressed in scrubs and a mask, the curtain was raised, and I felt some wiggling around in my abdomen but no pain. All of a sudden my OB says, "So THIS is why! Bandl's Rings around the left shoulder. What do ya know." I had no idea what she was talking about but just a couple minutes later I felt a big weight come out of me and heard him cry. His little cry was like a familiar sound to me. I started crying thinking "he's all right" over and over. After that I remember seeing him and then they knocked me out and I woke up in recovery. The very first thing I did was put him to my breast. He latched on like a CHAMP and the breastfeeding has been a dream ever since. It is the one thing I can say has gone totally great.

Later my OB told me a bit about Bandl's Rings. You can read more about them (sort of) here: Bandl's ring - Medical definition of Bandl's ring | Encyclopedia.com: Dictionary of Nursing It's so rare that there's very little info on it and no one knows why it happens or if it can reoccur. Bottom line is that with this going on there is no way I would have delivered vaginally. Not to mention if I'd kept pushing I could have ruptured my uterus. I got to 8+ cm over 13 hours of hardcore med-free labor and pushed for 3 hours for nothing. My OB specializes in high risk pregnancies and says she has seen it only about 10 times in her practice. Go figure - I seem to be a medical oddity defying the odds at every turn. I am not sure if I'll ever try a VBAC or just do another c-section but I am not thinking too hard about future babies at the moment.

Dominic is a breath-taking miracle and I am so full of love for him. He is the most amazing, gorgeous little creature ever made. Of course, I could be biased..

OK, a couple of quick pics...

(I kinda painted on a pasty since I don't know JM's policy on bf nip pics):

[*vi]

oh kyle i'm so sorry you had to deal with that long ordeal and really in the end it was all for "nothing"... it's just too bad you didn't know right away and could have skipped all the pain and pointless pushing.

Dominic is precious! what a sweet little guy! I love his little outfit! LOL

[The Jenny]

Congrats, he is beautiful! That is a crazy labor story, trust me I had a bad story as well, but I look at it as thats what gave me my baby girl

[LisanAndy]

I'm sorry the delivery experience wasn't easy and simple but I'm SOOO happy you finally have your little guy with you. He's absolutely adorable and I LOVE his Thanksgiving outfit Congrats!

[IamMom]

Kyle you're story sure was eventful and its just so sad that they can't determine if the ring thing is present well before labor begins - however your son is beautiful!!! Congrats!!!

[midnight_starr]

Congrats!!!! I am so sorry labor didn't go as planned.. Dominic is just precious!!

[misfitinmn]

He is BEAUTIFUL!!! And you know what? You deserve MAJOR kudos for laboring and pushing and generally just being a trooper. I so know how it feels to go through all of that and end up with a c/s and how disappointing that is. Eventually, those feelings fade and you'll probably always feel a little sad about it (I know I do anytime someone talks about their natural birth), but your little man will make those feelings fade!!

And happy news that he is latching and nursing like a champ!

[~Caroline~]

Congratulations! Dominic is so cute!

I'm sorry you didn't get the birth you want. You're a very strong woman!

[KatiInCT]

Nursing and latching like a champ is great news! I am so glad that you shared your story with us, even if it wasn't exactly as planned. I agree with the others that you are a very strong woman.

Welcome to the world Dominic!

Enjoy your son!

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

Kyle I am SO PROUD of you! I think it's awesome that you labored as long as you did without pain meds and with such high amounts of pit! Way to go! The Bandl's ring stuff is crazy. (at first I thought I somehow was led to the wrong link because all I saw were big shiny diamonds, haha) I am so glad that Dominic is out and healthy and safe. After this ridiculous ride into parenthood that you and Eric have had to endure... he is here, and he is PERFECT! The first pic you posted of the two of you... you look so refreshed and happy you'd never know what you'd been through in the last 20 or so hours! I'm glad he's nursing well and everything is going great. I'd been stalking your FB for some photos or something and I adore his little 'first Thanksgiving' outfit! So cute! And I think the name choice you and Eric picked out fits him wonderfully. Congratulations again mama, he's just precious!

[Alison81]

He is gorgeous! And I really give you credit for doing things natural for as long as you possible could, and that everything had a happy ending. I know I would have been so scared if I had heard what could have happened. At least now you can put that part behind you and focus on your new little boy.

[Resi]

He is such a little doll! You did amazing. You lasted a long time with no pain meds. I know what it's like to push for 3 hours after no sleep and be ready to agree to a c/s. It does make it some what better when the BF goes smoothly. I always was very thankful for that as well. How are you doing with the recovery for surgery?

[soImarriedAnerd]

Bandl's ring!!! Holy Crap girl thats a serious thing. I am SO glad you and him are ok!!!!!!

Congrats to you and Eric!!! We can't wait to meet him.

[szczepanski]

You are so amazing to go through ALL of that without pain meds....holy crap!!! What an amazing story.

He is just too adorable for words, so glad nursing and everything else is going easy for you guys. What a handsome guy!!

He is so beautiful!

I'm sorry you are a part of the horrible birth experience club. You did a stellar job though! I know what over the max amount pit contractions feel like without pain meds, and I think any woman that labors med free with pit deserves a freakin medal! So kudos to you for stickin through it as much as anyone possible could- You are a super woman! But thank god for modern medicine, huh? If you wanna vent about it later, I'm here (still pissed about my exp, lol).

I'm so glad BF is going well! I love the name as well. Congrats Kyle - it has been one hell of a journey for you, but now you get to experience the real fun! I'm very happy for you and Eric

I can't stop thinking about your experience Kyle. That complication - I mean, what are the odds! Ever since you were ttc you just kept getting all these hits and now even during the birth. And girl you are crazy - pushing until you passed out basically THAT is determination! What a journey it has been Ahhh I am so happy for you!

Oh and I wanted to mention that if you get a feeling like something is moving around in your uterus, that is most likely normal. I was FREAKED for days about it until a nurse told me it was an air bubble moving around in there. So freakin freaky. I thought an alien was going to pop out of there.

Ok, last comment

I love his outfit! Sooo cute. That first pic of you two and the last one with his daddy are great too

[~Jess~]

He is GORGEOUS!!! STUNNING!!!! BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

I'd never heard of Bandl's ring before, I looked up a bunch of pages on it, and WOW! That is some scary scary stuff! Glad you both made it through! Congrats again on your beautiful baby boy!

[JediRach]

He's beautiful! Sorry your labor was so difficult but he's here!

Michelle, you thread-hogger

Congratulations Kyle & Eric!!Against everything, you are finally here... you're baby boy is here, safe, healthy and gorgeous!!! You did an amazing job... and I personally, don't see the labouring & pushing "for nothing".... it was your birth experience, ok it wasn't what you planned, nor was it "fun", but it is still your experience. You did it!!