I'm starting to think no one is excited about this baby but me...

sara~b · #1 December 16th, 2009, 07:28 AM

Warning, I'm going to B*&ch and moan and it's not going to be pretty.... Alright, here it is:

It seems like nobody is excited that we're pregnant. Shane's parents haven't brought it up again since we told them. My mom hasn't either. My grandmother ripped me a new one and told me not to give this baby Shane's last name unless he marries me. My sister, of course, reacted horribly and is now trying to get pregnant herself at the expense of my nephew.

And it seems like alot of people I thought would be excited for me on JM and other message boards just aren't. It seems like everyone has forgotten that I got my IUD out in mid-2007 and tried on and off with Zack for almost a year. And that I felt that same disappointment month after month that all of the the TTC girls do. Or that I had a doctor tell me I needed medical assistance to get pregnant and stay that way. No one seems to care that this is a miracle in my eyes. It took 2.5 years of being off BC to see a positive test and I hoped every month for a miracle. Maybe it's just the hormones or maybe I don't have a right to expect people to be excited when Shane and I aren't married but I just hate that I don't feel excited anymore because of it. I am really starting to feel like I don't deserve this....

Okay, end rant. Sorry but I had to get this out and I know that no one in real life is going to listen.

LisanAndy · #2 December 16th, 2009, 07:37 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling down Sara

Every baby is exciting and a blessing and I can't believe the people that mean the most to you aren't acting/thinking that way ((HUGS))

Trannyfromtheuk · #3 December 16th, 2009, 07:47 AM

to what Lisa said.

BUT saying that, at the end of the day as long as you and Shane are happy about this baby who gives a **** what other people think or say. You are gonna be a fantastic mummy and Gemma is gonna have a lil brother or sister to play with too! Every baby is magical and speical and should be treated that way too.

In this day and age you dont need to be married to have a child or need to be told not to give that child his/hers dads last name because your not married. (I wasnt married to DH when i had Mia, we had only been together 4 months, Yet when she was born i gave her Garys last name) If you want your child to have your partners last name - Its up to you and Shane as a couple NONE ELSE!!

Im sorry you feel noone is as excited as you thought they would be about this baby. (It rememind me of the scrubs epi where Turk finds out Carla is prego with her 2nd baby and noone is excited about it as they was when they found out Carla was prego with Izzy so he told Gooch it was their 1st baby so he could get the reaction he wanted).

And dont go thinking you dont deserve this baby because you do!

CandaceDianne · #4 December 16th, 2009, 07:51 AM

My ILs reacted totally different than what I had thought. It was funny, because I thought my parents would be the ones who would be upset and it was his. His parents didnt talk about it that much and it really bothered me because they were sooo supportive when his sister got pregnant again (at first they werent though). They said we should have stopped TTC because of DH's unstable job, blah blah blah. Anway, my point is there are always going to be people who just arent going to be happy for you. It will tear you up inside because you are beaming. I totally get it! I dont think its right for people to get upset because there isnt anything anyone can do about it, so I think people should just shut up and be supportive! Ok, thats my own rant about that. BTW I am extremely happy for you and everything does happen for a reason. God is good!

~*sierra*~ · #5 December 16th, 2009, 07:58 AM

babies are always exciting, but maybe it will just take everyone some time. i think they will come around and share you're excitement soon. i am suuuuuuuuper excited for u!!!!!

soImarriedAnerd · #6 December 16th, 2009, 08:27 AM

I'm Super super excited for you! Thats sucks about the family but don't let it get you down, I know its hard. they will come around most likely!

midnight_starr · #7 December 16th, 2009, 08:45 AM

Try not to let anyone bring you down!! I am way excited for you and even more excited that we get to share this journey together!!

HopeWishWait · #8 December 16th, 2009, 08:54 AM

I'm sorry it's not going how you pictured exactly but all that matters in the end is that you and Shane are excited about this new baby and every single baby is a miracle no matter how long it was taken to conceive and the circumstances around it. So just enjoy it!! Forget everyone else!

sara~b · #9 December 16th, 2009, 09:14 AM

Thanks ladies. I'm sorry for the rant but I just feel like that. It's so hard to be excited when everyone is treating this baby like a mistake. We chose not to use protection and we knew what could happen even though the chances were slim to non. I wanted a baby more than anything and Shane did too, he just figured it would take alot longer. i guess I shouldn't expect much from his parents. This will be their 15th grandchild (16th if you count their one great-grandchild) and my family just seems to think I'm still 19 and pregnant to a guy that didn't want any part of it. It just hurts that no one sees seems to see this the way I do. I mean I have a great job. Shane has a good job. We have a nice house (even if we are a bedroom short). I've managed to make it almost 5 years without killing or maiming Gemma. We haven't starved our dogs. It seems to me like we're doing pretty okay on the caring for living things part! I know it's going to be tight money-wise for awhile and it will be really hard when I go back to work to juggle a kindergartener and a baby. But I just don't see why everyone seems to think I'm not capable? At least I seem to be doing better than my sister.... UGH!

Thanks again ladies. I know that 99% of the grads are thrilled for me. I just wish I was surrounded by you all instead of my family and so-called-friends. *sigh*

#10 December 16th, 2009, 09:23 AM

99% of the grads? i don't thnk i saw or read any negative comments, I hope you don't feel that way! I agree with the others, a baby is a baby no matter what, and it's YOUR baby

I KWYM about it being a miracle, Kirsty is my miracle and I feel very blessed I have her!

Mars · #11 December 16th, 2009, 09:51 AM

itto: to the ladies above. Your baby is a miracle and every child is special and deserving of major love and attention. I'm sorry the persons in both your families' circle are not being as supportive as they could be but try not to let it get you down. (I know that's easier said than done.) You, Shane and Gemma love this little one and that's what really matters. It's unfortunate that the ones you think will be happy for you may not appear to be. Hopefully, in time they will come around. Just keep on loving your little bean and do things that make you excited about him/her. Fantisize about holding him/her in your arms, looking into his/her eyes, dressing him/her up...think about all the wonderful things that are going on to make your little one and how special he/she is.

Resi · #12 December 16th, 2009, 09:51 AM

I know it's hard but try not to worry what family is saying or how they are reacting. If you and Shane are happy that is what matters most. I know we are all excited for you and you have been a member of WTTC Grads for a long time.

fromGirltoMommy · #13 December 16th, 2009, 09:53 AM

Oh sweetie, Im sorry your feeling this way! Im excited for that little miracle your grwoing in your belly!!

Try to enjoy your pregnancy sweetie, I really am sorry your feeling like that, and you DOOOOO deserve your beeb!

sara~b · #14 December 16th, 2009, 09:57 AM

Fi, I read the comment somewhere else. I'm not going to call anyone out and I know why they said it and it wasn't to be mean. I know I wasn't meant to see it but it just still hurt, KWIM?

Anyway, my boss just called to check in and offer me some work tomorrow. He was all happy and asking how things are going with the pregnancy and how Gemma is taking it and what not. Sometimes it's easy to forget that I do have my work family and they will be excited too. I've been off work since before I found out and I haven't told anyone except my bosses yet. It really helped me feel better. Plus having some work tomorrow will make it easier to pass some time without worrying and fretting. Thanks everyone!

Frozendesire · #15 December 16th, 2009, 10:04 AM

I'm sorry you aren't getting the feeling of excitement from family and friends. That's gotta be very hard to deal with I'm sure.

Just try to focus on your feelings and Shane's. You guys are happy and that's all that matters!!

IamMom · #16 December 16th, 2009, 10:22 AM

Sara hun - I'm sorry any of us grads said anything hurtful

...we certainly are very excited for you

. I'm sorry even if people have their opinions they are making you feel bad about it. I also think, like the other girls said, that every baby is a blessing and your's certainly is - don't forget that. Not every situation is right for everybody in terms of a family/having a baby...but if it works for you and Shane than it's perfect!

#17 December 16th, 2009, 10:46 AM

I am excited for you! I think all the drama you are dealing with in your family is crap and pretty crazy, but your pregnancy is a WONDERFUL blessing!

*krista* · #18 December 16th, 2009, 04:54 PM

We deal with it a bit too for reasons that are, as usual, stupid (race). It wouldn't have mattered how well off DH and I are or how long we have been married, there are just some family members of ours that aren't going to be excited. It makes me sad too. It sucks that they are like that, but you just gotta keep your head up high and enjoy your pregnancy with Shane and Gemma. Hopefully they will come around soon.. some of my family is starting to, so I'm sure there is hope for yours once they begin to see that it is a baby they are talking about, not some "unwanted" (in their eyes) pregnancy. Everyone seems to have their own idea of what is best for others when it is none of their business.

We are all excited for you! You can always come share your excitement with us!

sara~b · #19 December 16th, 2009, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *krista*

We deal with it a bit too for reasons that are, as usual, stupid (race). It wouldn't have mattered how well off DH and I are or how long we have been married, there are just some family members of ours that aren't going to be excited. It makes me sad too. It sucks that they are like that, but you just gotta keep your head up high and enjoy your pregnancy with Shane and Gemma. Hopefully they will come around soon.. some of my family is starting to, so I'm sure there is hope for yours once they begin to see that it is a baby they are talking about, not some "unwanted" (in their eyes) pregnancy. Everyone seems to have their own idea of what is best for others when it is none of their business.

We are all excited for you! You can always come share your excitement with us!

Krista, you have no idea how much better it makes me feel. Not necessarily that your family or his is racist and bitter but that someone else is there. It's hard enough that this pregnancy doesn't feel real yet. But to have them telling me my dream is a mistake just hurts. I'm sure you feel the same way and that makes me feel an itsy little bit better. Thank you for sharing!