What would You do?

ScottishBrit · #1 December 22nd, 2009, 11:05 PM

So Im supposed to go to a Funeral tomorrow. For a 18 month old baby.

One of my old friends Daughter passed away a few days ago. I was more friends with him but I still know her. We all used to work together at Disneyland years ago and still talk now. They have 4 kids the oldest is a girl and the 2 boys are in the middle. The youngest, Emily was a week younger then Cambria. Apparently she drown in the tub. The mom left the room for a min and thats when It happened. It's a sad situation. Harder that the baby was a GREAT swimmer. She was all over the new's last summer about how good it is to teach your kids at an early age and Emily could hold her breathe underwater and swim like a champ! Kinda weird thats how she passed away. Well, I just dont know If Im gonna go to to funeral. I have Cambria all day tomorrow and no one can watch her. So I'd have to take her. I think that since there close in age that would just be a reminder. I feel bad for having to miss the funeral but I just cant make it. Plus DH's family is here from Oregon ( we stayed with them when we were there ) so were getting together for dinner. What would you guys do?

#2 December 22nd, 2009, 11:13 PM

I wouldn't go if I had to take Cambria either. I think it would be hard for the mom to see another child close to her daughters age, and funerals aren't a place for a baby anyways.

What a sad situation

You can never be too careful.

Frozendesire · #3 December 22nd, 2009, 11:16 PM

If no one could watch Cambria I wouldn't go. If there was ANY possible way, I would try to make it. That's horribly sad.

soImarriedAnerd · #4 December 22nd, 2009, 11:26 PM

I don't go to funerals I get weird and inappropriate, so its best I skip them. I do make sure to send a card with a donation to a charity or something like that.

LisanAndy · #5 December 23rd, 2009, 04:15 AM

How horribly sad

If I had to take Cambria with me I wouldn't go.

Angelaosaurus-rex · #6 December 23rd, 2009, 04:28 AM

That's awful

poor baby!!! I wouldn't go if I had to take my kid either.

ANGWife · #7 December 23rd, 2009, 04:29 AM

I wouldn't go either. Not with DD

#8 December 23rd, 2009, 04:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MomToJack

I wouldn't go if I had to take Cambria either. I think it would be hard for the mom to see another child close to her daughters age, and funerals aren't a place for a baby anyways.

I wouldn't take Kirsty to a funeral unless (god forbid) it was DHs.

I'm sure they will completely understand Ams. It's such a sad and tragic situation. Makes you realise you just can't leave them for a second. So so sad

Mars · #9 December 23rd, 2009, 04:39 AM

That's such a sad situation! I'm sorry you can't find someone to watch Cambria so that you could go. They/She will need so much support. I can only imagine the guilt the mom must be feeling. I don't know her but my heart is breaking for her. Perhaps you can send a card and some flowers if nothing works out.

fromGirltoMommy · #10 December 23rd, 2009, 05:14 AM

I definitely wouldnt go if I had to bring my DD. I had to go to a funeral for a 1 year old last summer, he drowned in their pool. It was horrible. I knew his mother pretty well from school it broke my heart, everyone was crying, and so was I.

Definitely not a place Id be bring my DD.

Their family will be in my prayers!

*krista* · #11 December 23rd, 2009, 05:19 AM

That is just awful.

I agree, I definitely wouldn't go with Cambria, but I would try pretty hard to find someone to watch her (not that you aren't) because they probably need all the support they can get right now. I couldn't imagine.

~*sierra*~ · #12 December 23rd, 2009, 05:29 AM

so sad. maybe the IL's would take cambria for even a half hour so you could stop in after the service? if not i like angelas idea of sending a card with a donation to a charity in honour of the child. we did donations like that when one of my best friends mother passed away.

Resi · #13 December 23rd, 2009, 05:55 AM

That is so sad and heartbreaking.

I think you should skip it but send something to let her know you have been thinking of the family.

Chelnae6 · #14 December 23rd, 2009, 05:57 AM

Yeah I definitely wouldnt take Cambria.

alicenwonderland · #15 December 23rd, 2009, 06:14 AM

I would probably try my best to guilt someone into taking Cambria for the day. Funerals are very important to some people. I'm sure your friend would want to see how much you loved their baby, and how sad you are with them. I'm sure they could use the support.

Alison81 · #16 December 23rd, 2009, 06:18 AM

That's so sad. I wouldn't go if you have to take Cambria. One of E's close friends and classmate died from bacterial meningitis last month, and it was really hard for me, and I didn't want to be a mess at the funeral. I ended up just going near the end to make a donation to the adoption agency she was adopted from, and to tell her parents I was sorry. It was good because I didn't have to sit through the entire thing, but I was able to show my support. Maybe that's something you could do, and have someone take Cambria for just a little while.

IamMom · #17 December 23rd, 2009, 07:46 AM

I guess I'm the odd man out....I'd go even if I had to take my child....some people like to be surrounded by all those that they love and love them and their children....It all depends on how the person is...it would make some people happy to see happy, healthy children at the funeral to celebrate her daughters life instead of mourn her death. But everyone is different, that may be too hard for her to bear seeing other children------ if you knew them well enough you could ask whether they would rather Cambria not be there (or any children for that matter)...and you may feel that a funeral is not best for Cambria and then it is your decision ultimately.....but it you cannot possibly go then I agree with the other ladies send a donation to a charity if they have one set up or make a meal for the family or something.

It is very sad though....reminds us mommies to say thank you every day for our beautiful children. My prayers go out to that family.

*Anna* · #18 December 23rd, 2009, 08:32 AM

That is soooo sad and heartbreaking. I would go with my baby only if dh went with me. I too am weird and uncomfortable like Angela said. But your friend would prob love the support and like Keri said it may be good for them to be around children to celebrate life as they mourn their childs death. How terribl sad. I cannot imagine that-but to walk away from your baby in the tub!!! Once I had to grab something while I was bathing Alexa but I picked her up, wrapped her up in a towel, took her with me andthen came back and put her in the tub again. Not worth the chance of something happening.

ScottishBrit · #19 December 23rd, 2009, 09:03 AM

Thanks girls for all the advice. As of now I dont think Im gonna go. It would just be to hard and having to bring her would be worst for them. I am going to send them a card and have sent Him an email saying they are in my thoughts. Thanks guys!

ShannonMVT · #20 December 23rd, 2009, 10:19 AM

I wouldn't go if I had to take my baby with me. She will probably have a lot of support at the funeral, but I would say maybe in the next week or two you could do something like take them a meal to show them you care and are thinking about them.

What a horribly sad situation. It's hard for me to even think about anything happened to my child, this must be a nightmare for them.