Stepping back and taking a break.....

A*LOT*OF*HOPE · #1 January 5th, 2010, 04:37 PM

I guess some of you have noticed I haven't been around latley!!! My 26th birthday is fast approaching and with no BFP in sight, I am super depressed!! I am super happy for all the BFP's that have happened recently, but I feel my own sadness is over shadowing my abiltity to be as truly happy as all you great women deserve!! As more and more people get there BFP's this group feels more like a playroom/DDC and I am getting left behind!!! I truly do love all you ladies and wish you all the best with everything, but my DH says everytime I open JM it is like playing russian roulette with my emotions!!! I can't be sad all the time, it's not good for my marriage....or me!! I hope you guys all understand and don't just thing I am being a b!tch, Im not trying to be that at all!!! I am now on CD 6 and have no idea what is in store for me this month.......I actually don't even really care at this point!!! TTC is supposed to be fun, this is so not fun!!! We don't have the money for IVF and are running out of money for IUI. The meds I am on are only going to get me so far!! I feel like I am letting down my husband, my family and myself!!! I can't even write all of this without crying.....

I will still check in from time to time, but probably will not post!! Anyways, I hope all of you have amazing pregnancies, healthy babies, quick TTC journies, and many wonderful things in your lives!!!

sara~b · #2 January 5th, 2010, 04:56 PM

I'm so sorry Morgan! I understand how you feel. I was there for so long! I hope your break helps you heal emotionally and brings you back to us with a BFP of your own! Don't be a total stranger okay?!

~*Bethy*~ · #3 January 5th, 2010, 05:03 PM

I completly understand - take as much time as you need - but please check in to let us know your ok? We love you!!!

Mars · #4 January 5th, 2010, 05:27 PM

Morgan, my heart aches for you. I guess only those who've actually been through such a rough time TTCing can really understand how you feel. And it must be hard to watch be in the midst of so many babies and BFPs. I do know your BFP is coming. I wish I could say when but I can't. All I have is a strong feeling that it will happen. Just like I had with Michelle. Hang in there, hun. (((HUGS)))

Frozendesire · #5 January 5th, 2010, 05:32 PM

I completely understand. Please keep us updated on you and your life. I can't imagine being in your position. I'm very sorry for all that you have had to and will still go through. Your BFP is coming, I hope soon.

I'll be missing you

Kiwi · #6 January 5th, 2010, 05:37 PM

I'm so sorry Morgs. With my experience over the last few months, I've come to realise that things sometimes just don't work out the way they should - Life is really unfair sometimes.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing, just taking some time out for yourself and your husband. Just remember to look at all the positives you have in your life right now - your husband, family etc. Maybe plan something that doesn't have anything to do with TTC or babies? My partner and I have written a big list of 'goals for 2010' and they have nothing to do with babies - just savings, stuff around the house etc. It's giving me something else to focus on, rather than being sad about losing our bubs.

Thinking of you. Big hugs sweetie.

~*sierra*~ · #7 January 5th, 2010, 05:45 PM

sweetie i completely understand......*HUGS*

please come back when you are ready - we love you!!

IamMom · #8 January 5th, 2010, 05:47 PM

I don't want to hear it.....and

I'm crying cause you feel this way about the boards, and about TTC in general....but you have to do what makes you happy and what is good for your spirit and your marriage for sure. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to have these issues and I pray everyday for all my JM friends who don't have a baby in their arms that they deserve.....and I kiss my kids and hug them tight when I think about you ladies. Morgan...I will miss you and I hope you do come back when you are ready and/or when you get that beautiful BFP.....Good luck honey and know that we will all think of you all the time!

*krista* · #9 January 5th, 2010, 05:50 PM

Goodness Morgan, you almost made me cry too. I can imagine how hard it is to be here with so much going on around you. Mari said it best -- my heart aches for you. I really, really hope you come back to us soon with BFP news. BIG hugs, we will miss you while you are gone.

Chelnae6 · #10 January 5th, 2010, 06:00 PM

Awwww Morgs I'm sorry! My heart is breaking for you and I totally understand where you're coming from. I hope that you're able to post soon and that post will be some delighting and exciting news!

(((HUUUGGGSSSS)))) I'm going to miss you! If I hit the megamillions before you get your

I'd invest in IVF for you and hubby.

~Caroline~ · #11 January 5th, 2010, 06:03 PM

I understand completely. I'll miss you though and I hope you come back soon!

Resi · #12 January 5th, 2010, 06:22 PM

I can't say I understand how you are feeling because I have never been where you are. But I can try to understand how hard it all is and it makes me feel so sad for you. I really hope and believe you will be pregnant soon. Take some time away and I hope you come back with some great news.

midnight_starr · #13 January 5th, 2010, 06:24 PM

My heart breaks for you and I wish this wasn't such a rough journey for you... You will be missed around here but I totally understand the need to step back!! Don't be a stranger and stop by from time to time!! We all love you and are here for you whenever you decide to come back!!!

#14 January 5th, 2010, 06:46 PM

I understand somewhat of what you feel. I am still surprised IUI #5 worked for me. This break sounds like it will be great for you, and I hope you come back and check in with us! Your BFP is coming- never lose hope in that. I wish ttc wasn't so hard for you, and I really hope you are able to find the "fun" again in trying to make a baby

And please know that everything I have ever read from you tells me you are a WONDERFUL wife, and that you WILL be an amazing mom

alicenwonderland · #15 January 5th, 2010, 06:52 PM

I understand how you feel, Morgan. I feel the same way most of the time. Please PM me if you have any updates or try any treatments. I'm sure experiencing failure with MA makes it all the harder. *Hugs*

*vi · #16 January 5th, 2010, 07:09 PM

Aww sweetie I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. and I have to say, I'm sure you know that I know exactly how you feel. I have been feeling down lately especially after feeling so crappy not long ago and weird spotting but a BFN on my test. I'm beginning to feel like it's never going to happen for us. I'm trying to not think about it but I'm sure you know how hard that is. I'm sorry you're feeling so down and I hope (and know) that you will feel better as time goes on and if taking some time from JM is what you need than I wish you all the best. We love you lots and wish the best for you, make sure to pop back in sometimes and let us know how you're doing, but I hope to see you back soon, as soon as your ready! <3

ShannonMVT · #17 January 5th, 2010, 07:26 PM

I completely understand. There were times I had to leave JM because it was just too hard to see others with what I wanted so badly myself.

So I understand how you are feeling and I want to say I hope you can find happyness in where you are right now and OF COURSE I hope I you get that BFP super soon! I know it is tough but I believe you will get that BFP and baby in your arms and you will be the most amazing mom because of it.