I don't know how you do it. I know it must be hard to be on here sometimes. So many babies and pregnant women. Today I was thinking about how hard it is for me sometimes. My baby fever is back and I want to give Jack a sibling someday sooner then later. But that won't be happening. I am also still dealing with Jack's birth and what happened. Maybe others have traumatic births and they get over it quickly. I am just, not. I was feeling like a loser today with how his birth turned out, and it reminded me of how I felt ttc when everyone was getting pregnant EXCEPT me. Which in turn made me think of all of you.

So I wanted you ttcers to know, I give all of you girls major props. Because despite my grievances with myself, I know it is much harder to be ttc for a long time without success, amongst so many that have conceived. And yet, so many of you still post, lurk and give support here, even though I KNOW it must pain you. You try and keep your head up and stay positive no matter how many bfns you get or down days you have, never losing hope that one day you will become a mom. You amaze me, and I think you are all strong, remarkable women.

That's all

[♥Ashley♥]

That is so sweet Michelle.

I'll actually be honest about it for once and admit that it is REALLY hard. There are so many babies around here and BFP's, I feel like im in a PR and im the only woman without a baby. But I couldnt ever for a second think of not coming around and giving my support to all the ladies who endlessly support me. And while im being honest, ill admit that there are a few girls on here who (naturally) have gotten pregnant around the same time as me (alot in the same week) and when i see those tickers its a constant reminder of how far along i could be. Nothing against those ladies (and i know you know that i mean nothing bad towards you guys) but its just tough. Im hoping that my diagnosis and "treatment" will now bring my BFP that I have waited so long and gone through so much pain for though.

And ETA: Michelle dont ever feel like a loser for your birth. Look at all you went through for Jack, how could you feel like a loser? You did all you could and gave all you could for your little miracle, who cares how he got here...he's here and he's healthy! Thats all that matters! (Although i know that doesnt take away from how traumatic it was for you!)

I like your honesty Ashley. I can't imagine how it is to have lost a baby or babies, and then see other pregnancies and babies around the same age as the one(s) you lost.

I know I shouldn't feel like a loser, but I do anyways. You are right though, it still had a happy ending.

[Mars]

(((hugs)))

[LisanAndy]

I can't imagine how hard it is on the TTCs. I've been fortunate to conceive quickly (I'm not trying to rub it in by any means and I was even diagnosed with hypothyroidism and being the early stages of PCOS so I feel lucky) and I always felt bad when posting about my BFPs. My heart aches for those who deserve to be mothers and can't at the moment. I've experienced this IRL too. My friend Sandy has been trying for 6 years for a baby and has PCOS. She's now due on Jan 29th with a precious little boy and I couldn't be happier for her. It was SOO difficult to see me have 2 babies before she even had 1. I also have a friend named Mary that was pregnant at the same time I was with Taylor and she miscarried and we worked together. She was horribly nasty to me because I was still pregnant and she went on to have 2 more losses and finally had her daughter Lily this past October. Please know that I honestly give major props to you ladies that are willing to do anything to reach your goal which is having a healthy baby in your arms and I'm sure all of you will reach that goal in one way or another

[~Caroline~]

It is very very very hard. Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.

Seeing all the BFPs and babies (on here and in real life) is extremely difficult, especially when I see women get pregnant so quickly and easily. I had to take a break from this place last summer because it was too difficult. I'm very jealous at times, but I'm definitely not angry. It's not anyone's fault that we can't conceive and I'm very very very happy that most women here don't have the problems that we have.

ETA: I hope none of the very-fertile WTTC grads ever feel guilty to post about their BFPs. I *am* jealous and I wish I was you all but I'm definitely happy for everyone.

[HopeWishWait]

to all the TTCers..I'm always thinking of you girls and keeping you in my prayers that those BFPs come quick.

[sara~b]

I've been on both sides of the fence. I started on one I Want a Baby but My Partner Doesn't when I was engaged to Zack. I got my IUD out, we stopped using protection and I was so sure it would happen. We even had a name picked out. Then the ob/gyn looked at my charts and said my LP was too short and she'd give me Clomid when I was ready. Zack called off the engagement a few months later and I was devastated. Once I moved back to PA, about 6 months later, I started dating someone seriously and we weren't always careful. When nothing happened I was sure the doctor was right and I would never get pregnant again. Then I met Shane and everything seemed so right! When we moved in together in June and nothing had happened by November I decided it was time to start charting again so I could talk to an RE. I guess I had one lucky cycle and BAM!

I can't tell you how many times I cried on the phone with my mom about only having one child. I can't tell you how many times I freaked out on Shane because he wanted to browse at a baby store or in a baby section. I can't tell you how hurt I was when he told me he wasn't sure if he wanted to have a baby with me since we already have Gemma. I don't think we've had a fight since I conceived and I think alot of my misery came from thinking of my empty arms being a permanent fixture. I would give my BFP away to see some of the long timers here get theirs. I will be happier for them than I am even for myself I think. And I couldn't have made it through any of the bad times without this board! I feel guilty for inflicting pain with my siggy but I know that I was thrilled for everyone before me and I trust that everyone whose BFP's are coming behind me will understand that I can't not share although I do hide my siggy in the TTC threads. ((((((HUGS))))))))

[Kiwi]

Thank you Michelle. You have no idea how wonderful it was to read that.

I thought I was one of the 'lucky' ones, falling pregnant so easily. But going through what we did is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy... As horrible as this will sound, I wish so much that I hadn't fallen pregnant so easy, that I put in my 'time' TTC so that BFP would feel much more 'earned'. In the last few weeks of my pregnancy I wished I'd have a miscarriage so I wouldn't have to have made the decision we did - I know that sounds really stupid and I really don't have any regrets, but that is how I felt at the time...

I do feel everything happens for a reason though, so I'm just trying to hang onto that and be positive. I know we'll hold our babies in our arms one day.

[chellerenee]

Thanks Michelle. Like everyone else has said, it has been extremely hard. I am jealous of all the BFPs and sweet little babies too, but I wouldn't want any one of you not to get your BFP or have your babies! It's exactly like Caroline said, I'm very jealous but definitely not angry! I really like the quote I found today when making my new siggy. "Understanding is God's responsibility. Trusting is ours." I'm gonna try to remember that whenever I am feeling down about my infertility. All I can do is trust that when it's meant to happen, it will.

[ShannonMVT]

Originally Posted by MomToJack

I don't know how you do it. I know it must be hard to be on here sometimes. So many babies and pregnant women.
So I wanted you ttcers to know, I give all of you girls major props. Because despite my grievances with myself, I know it is much harder to be ttc for a long time without success, amongst so many that have conceived. And yet, so many of you still post, lurk and give support here, even though I KNOW it must pain you. You try and keep your head up and stay positive no matter how many bfns you get or down days you have, never losing hope that one day you will become a mom. You amaze me, and I think you are all strong, remarkable women.

That's all

I know it's got to be so hard, I know it was for me. To wonder when it was going to be my turn. There are a few babies on JM who I know of that were conceived right after I lost mine and sometimes it still hurts to look at them and remember.

I wish everyone could be fertile myrtles and get preggo with healthy babies super fast. All the TTCers I have faith that you will all be mommys and someday all this will be worth it and then some.

[Kiwi]

Isn't it nice, to have such a diverse range of women on JM... if that makes any sense at all

[Frozendesire]

I can only imagine what you ladies are going through, physically and emotionally. Pregnancy is so crazy, on so many levels. TTC, keeping a pregnancy, and creating a healthy baby is NOT easy work by any means.

I know all of you will be AMAZING momma's soon, I hope VERY soon.

[♥Ashley♥]

I just wanted to add, NO ONE should ever feel guilty about posting a bfp on here because of the ttc'ers!!! We get jealous (as everyone has mentioned) which can only be expected, and wish it was our turn...but we are SO happy for you guys!!

[*JenJen*]

thanks michelle.

And no one should feel guilty for getting their BFP easily or anything. I am thrilled for all of you, you are part of my family. I just feel a bit sad for me and jealous. But I know that when all of us TTCer's finally get our BFP's you guys will be thrilled for us, and that makes it easier. we're family. we stick together.

I just wanted to add, NO ONE should ever feel guilty about posting a bfp on here because of the ttc'ers!!! We get jealous (as everyone has mentioned) which can only be expected, and wish it was our turn...but we are SO happy for you guys!!

Thanks Michelle! Some moments are OBVIOUSLY harder than others, but I just have one request of you mommas-- keep the pics coming!!! I love the pics-- they totally inspire me as far as cuteness, my goal, ideas for what I wanna do with baby's room, etc.!

[Chelnae6]

I get jealous of you married and soon-to-be-married ladies. But I am thankful to be amongst a group of married ladies and to be able to learn from and obtain experience from a lot of you ladies. I guess how some of you who've been trying for a while feel about TTC, I feel about marriage. I am over the top excited for everyone who gets married and is married b/c I know it'll happen for me one day.

There are a lot of times where I have felt a little guilty about my bfp b/c I didnt really try. I do wish and think that a lot of you ladies who have been trying for a while get bfps soon. I know that there are more in store before Valentines day. And as hard as it may be for some of you to post on my topics, I am ever so thankful for ALL of you ladies although we are not that close. You ladies have really made me appreciate this journey. And whenever I reply to one of your posts on how I cant wait til your ticker reaches where mine is now, I absolutely mean that.

[alicenwonderland]

Thanks, Michelle. TTC is very hard, and i know that you have experienced that hardship first hand. It's hard not to feel forgotten in a sea of beautiful babes and glowing preggos. I am genuinely happy for everyone, but yeah... jealous as hell! Thank you for thinking of us. I know I could use the support right now. Sometimes I just want to give up!
and *Hugs* you are in no way a loser! You worked hard to acheive your pregnancy, and though your birth wasn't what you hoped for, your son is proof are in fact a "winner". Remember that your tramatic experience will not nececarily be relived. your history, experience, and a doctor's help, can give you a more positive experience.

[bittersweet]

I'm glad Michelle brought this up as I went to stalk the TTC thread a day or so ago and realized it was not on the front page anymore. I know we have TTCers...so I was only thinking they are not posting much anymore b/c of all the BFP/babies being born right now. I don't post much in that thread, but I read it often. I follow your stories and everyday I hope to hear good news from ALL of you. Everyone has different struggles when it comes to TTC/babies/parenting. I can only hope we all feel like we are getting the support we need for whatever struggle we are facing.