[~*Bethy*~]

So as you guys know my sis is in the hosptial for elipesy monitoring. When she had her first grand mal about 3 weeks ago, I took the baby. I still have her. with the exception of the day and a half she was home before having another grand mal seizure. Since she was a few days from her OHSU stay they just kept her in. Now we are 4 day's into the 3-7 day trial with no signs of her going home because now their thinking its not epilepsy. their thinking its a cluster of nurons in her brain that are causing reactions to every day life...and are possibly thinking of brain surgery......but thats miles down the road....

Ok fastforward to yesterday. I had a mommy and morgy day, and since jay had a day off, he was going to have an Ian and daddy day...or so he thought. Since my sister has been in the epilepsy monitoring unit, my dad and step mom feel the need to be up there every...second...of...the...day. I kid you not, I call and hes up there. If I need help "Oh Im with your sister I can help you later" So I get a call yesterday morning while Im out at the barn from my step mom "can you watch logan?" I said well yeah, but Im not at home, jay's at home with the kids but Morgan and I have a party to go to at 1. She goes "well ok jays home, Ill call him..." um ok... So I get home, notice Logan is still at our house (3 hours later) and I have a frustrated husband. uh oh. I ask him what my step mom said and he says "your dad got a cat scan today and they didnt want Logan to be there for that incase is scared him" ok well thats plausible, seeing as thats the reason we have Logan in the first place. I figure ok, Im leaving at 1, theyll have to be done by 2, or maybe 3? I call home at around 4:30-5....Logan is still at our house. ***. Im sitting at my mom's just chillin and chatting with her and my step dad (mom had sophie this weekend for me) and we get a call from my sister. After her conversation my dad gets on the line and Im like "dude....how are you!? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY?!?!" "ohh Ive been up here with your sister" "Is J there with you?" "Yeah we've both been up here since about 12"

*** man.

Im IRATE at this point, you dont just drop off a kid and say see ya with NO indication where your going, it just DOES NOT work that way. So I let my sister know that if AT ALL possible we would like Logan picked up so that I could spend time with my family on my husbands day off (first day off in 6 days) "Well I have to talk Ryan into it and Ill call Jay to let him know" at this point Im ready to loose it. So I sit around for about 30-45 min and call DH "Hey babe has Ryan come to get logan?" "No I havent even gotten a phone call yet from ANYONE but you" Are you freaking SERIOUS?! So I wait a bit, have dinner with my parents and give hubby a call back "Yeah he finally came and got him about 15 minutes ago" dude...it takes you an hour and a half to come get your kid!? its freaking 6:30 at night! Ok so we let it go for the most part, I went home and we had a lovely evening watching movies.

Ok if you've read it this far, I love you and I owe you a margarita....

So were laying in bed and Im a bit ticked off and I ask hubby "what did J say to you when she called you exactly" and he said "That your dad had a dr appt that they didnt want to take logan to" How did this end up being a 14hr day?!

So I give my dad a very frustrated call this morning, (now mind you, Im almost 28 weeks/7 months pregnant, and dealing with my 2 children on top of my sisters 2 children, one being an infant, Im allowed to be a bit pissy?) I tell him that we had no clue where he was, as when I found out BOTH of them were at the hospital last night it made me pissed off - "Oh well I thought you were ok taking the kids "all of the time" thing" "No I am, but you dont drop off a child, say your going to a dr's appt and NEVER CALL" "well he had a phone, he could have called" oh you did NOT just go there....I said you were a single dad of 2 young children, how do you NOT pick up a phone and call and check on that child? Not even my sister called in to check up on Logan. "Well he has a phone, Ive had the same # for years, and any rate you knew we were up here, we just figured you guys could watch Logan today" I reply'd "Yes and you wouldnt have even bothered to come pick him up at the end of the day either, he would have slept here had I not called anyone to figure out who was suppose to have Logan" ohhh this made him mad and I flat out said do not turn this around on me and I hung up on him.

OK, SO. How much more do I give? How much more CAN I give. Im already being taken advantage of. At the same time, I feel bad because my sister didnt ask for any of this. But I need help. I cannot risk my sanity to make sure these kids are ok. Do I just keep continuing to be super mom and keep going? or do I say ok someone else needs to come help out? My dad said "well obviously you wont have him tonight since you sound like you need sleep" and I said woah buddy back this up, this isnt about sleep its about communication. ...... what do I do?

[*krista*]

I read everything but I didn't quite follow it all... but from what I got, if I were you I would lay some ground rules. I don't think I would stop watching the kids because of the fact that your sis is in the hospital, but other members of the family should be helping too. Maybe you could just let them know you need some help and, while you are more than willing to help, you can't be the one to ALWAYS watch the kids... and when you do watch the kids, you need things like communication, and whatever other ground rules you lay out.

[Chelnae6]

I followed you for the most part. A lot of venting in there. TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE!!! But I too would lay down some ground rules. Although you have no problem watching the kids, you are a 28 week pregnant woman with a husband and 2 kids and you WONT do this on your own esp if you dont have to.

Understandable that your sister cant do much, if anything about it. But your folks should be helping out, not at the hospital 25/8. Its okay to take turns between dad, step mom and you but these things should be planned out thoroughly and followed through.

Try not to stress it too much and just lay down some ground rules. Yeah they will get mad but oh well.

[~*Bethy*~]

Thank you ladies. I COMPLETLY agree 100% with what you said, chel. It just made me SOOOOO mad that we didnt know where they were the entire day, and come to find out they were up there!!! I will put a venting warning on the label...I didnt realize untill you said anything that it was a vent fest, thank you !!

[Trannyfromtheuk]

your 28wks pregnant, you have your two kids and you cant be expected to look after two more kiddos without some kind of help or communication.
What if (god forbid + i hope it dosent) anything happend to you?

[~*sierra*~]

Originally Posted by *ETanny*

your 28wks pregnant, you have your two kids and you cant be expected to look after two more kiddos without some kind of help or communication.
What if (god forbid + i hope it dosent) anything happend to you?

ditto

[~*Bethy*~]

I called my dad, and calmly said "this isnt working" and he flat out agree'd. He also said that reguardless of her seizure status, she is going home anywhere from tomorrow thru wednesday. After that its on gods good humor, and she will have her kids back. I told my dad that her and her husband need to sit down and figure out who gets who for now, short term and long term - because what happens if this happens again? I told him my day's I can watch her and flat out said Im too pregnant to watch 4 kids on my own, so Logan will need to be under someone elses care (weird cuz the baby takes less work than Logan LOL!!) For my sanity, my body, and my marriage. If this were to happen again, and she is hospitalized, I have stated my day's and have also stated that someone else needs to step up and help out. It was fine the first week or so, but this is going to be long term seeing as their looking into brain surgery and everything. I can not take on 5 children if she dies, heaven forbid - I just can not do it.

[~*sierra*~]

*hugs*
it will be alright. i'm sure your sister will have her condition under control in no time and all will be back to normal.

[LisanAndy]

I'm so sorry you're family is going through all this Hopefully the most recent talk you had with your dad will make everything go smoother.

[Mars]

I read it and I understand where you're coming from. Yes, I understand that you want to be there for your sister's kids but your Dad and step-mom need to step it up. They are taking advantage of you and you will need to lay down the ground rules. I understand that they want to be there for your sister but it's unfair to saddle you with all the kids so frequently. I hope you get something worked out.

[freesiangel]

I'm sorry no one else has been stepping up, that really isn't fair. I hope things go smoothly with your sister from now on and that you're not put in this situation again.

[~*Bethy*~]

thanks gals! My dad ended up taking the baby last night (yay!! LOL) So I was able to have some more sleep. We will have her at some point today thru tomorrow before the barn (she gets stuffy with horse dander, as my sister gets a full blown asthma attack) Lets just hope he keeps this up!!

[Trannyfromtheuk]

Maybe having words with him made him realise your not as indestrucible as he may hagve thought you where.
I hope he keeps this up, for your sanity and health at least x