[amazing_love]

Did you do this during your pregnancy? When did you start, how often did you do it, and was it painful at all? Do you feel like it helped prevent tearing for you?

I've been considering it but am not sure if it's worth trying.

[Chelnae6]

A co-worker of mine swears by it. Says it helped with her 2nd child. She still tore b/c with her 1st they did an episotomy but believes that it wasnt as bad as the 1st b/c she did the perineal massage

[Resi]

Tried it one or two times and gave up. It was uncomfortable to reach and dh wasn't willing to do it.

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

I never got to that point. But I have many friends who say it worked for them! I would definitely try it!

[Mars]

I never tried it but I've heard success stories from a few persons who've tried it.

[IamMom]

I did it - not a ton and not as much as they recommend but a few times a week and I did not tear at all with Nora....I did have a small episiotomy with Harrison so it helped me to not tear even though I had been cut the first time....def do it....it can't hurt that's for sure!

[~*sierra*~]

my SIL never did it, but she only tore internally. i agree it can't hurt to give it a shot!

[Frozendesire]

I don't see why not atleast trying it! It can't hurt.

With Curtis I didn't and I tore with him

I didn't either with Dustin and I didn't tear. My doctor actually told me to keep control and only push or just breath when she said. She kept me very calm and because of that he came slowly with enough time for stuff to stretch out (I think anyways!!). He was also a lb small then Curtis... I wonder if that makes a difference too?

[LisanAndy]

I haven't done it with either but my first I did end up with an episiotomy which I found less painful than the slight tearing I got with Rylie... weird LoL.

popping in from wttc..

my first son was 9bs 9oz and I had a 2nd degree tear with him. I pushed for 1.5 hours before he was born and the doctor was doing the massage during that time and needed a vacuum (he was sunny side up).

my 2nd was 9lbs 5oz, I pushed 3 times and he was out, NO TIME for massage and no tearing/episiotomy.

I think it has more to do with how low the baby is before you start pushing, and how fast the baby comes out. If you allow your body to contract and move the baby faaaar down on it's own, I think you're less likely to tear that forcing the baby out fast. Of course, this is based on my own experience only

[SandKmommy]

I didn't too uncomfy and i refused to tear i wanted an episomity, I've known too many irl that had issues from tearing so i chose what i liked, i ended with a 2nd degree episomity w/ seamus

[Chelnae6]

What are 2nd degree tears/episotomies?

[amazing_love]

It's a little surprising to hear that some people prefer an episiotomy. I've always heard it's better to tear naturally and that's what i would prefer. To each their own i suppose..

I'm glad not everyone has a negative mindset on perineal massage. When i posted it in my DDC i was surprised that most said they would never try it or even that it sounded really gross

[szczepanski]

I have it specifically stated in my birth plan that I do not want an episiotomy, unless it looks I'm about to tear really, really REALLY bad. Everything I've read says that to tear naturally is better....when you are cut with an episiotomy, they can't really differentiate between skin & muscle, so you could end up with a lot more stitches than you need. Sometimes they can use the episiotomy to kind of "direct" the natural tear away from the rectum if you are tearing really badly.

Sometimes they will do a massage/hot compress while you are actually pushing and I've heard that helps a ton. I would have done the perineal massage....but my long torso + huge belly + short arms = I can't reach. And I think at this point I will just have to rely on my midwife to make sure my little tank gets out of there without tearing me up too bad, haha.

[SandKmommy]

Originally Posted by ~ChelNae6~

What are 2nd degree tears/episotomies?

how deep it is, 4th degree is the worst all the way to the rectum.

I choose an episomity because the ones i know irl have torn 2nd or worse(and taken a long time to heal) and imagine stitching up something that is rigged its not going to be sewn back normally (one of mom's friend's even had a 3rd hole after tearing that they couldn't stitch right) my mom had 3 episomitys and is just fine in that area still she says. but again each their own, most of my choices most here doen't agree with (or care) i'm different/weird

[freesiangel]

I didn't and I ended up needing an episiotomy and tearing a little, so I say try it if you're willing, it can't hurt! I also had in my birth plan no episiotomy, but I was literally about to tear through, so it was kind of necessary... Oh, and my dr was also doing massage the entire time. I had a fast delivery, though, so I think it was more-so due to that.

[Adriana's Mommy]

I never did any kind of messages during both of my pregnancies..

I did not tear at all with both of my kids.. My daughter had a small head and my son had a bigger head.. I guess it all depends on how your birth goes.. They also used mineral oil to help with the stretching before my kids were born..

[soImarriedAnerd]

I just had tons of sex prior to labor I think that helped! LOL And since I was in water we didn't do it then (because water works even BETTER than massage).

Also I would like point out it is NOT a recommended routine practice anymore for episiotomies. Its like the neck of your shirt if you pull hard on it could tear but just a touch, if you put a little cut in it it can tear easily.
1-2 degree tears are usually naturally if your going to tear. (don't involve the rectal area)
3-4 degree tears are the ones you usually get post episiotomy (so you get cut then tear on top of it, 4 being you tear into your rectum--so two holes become one)

the cut of an episiotomy is a 2nd degree cut on its own. and 90% of women who get one aren't told if they tore on top of it.

I even had in my Birthplan that if I needed a vacuum I STILL didn't want the cut... I have seen WAY to many episotomies cause issues. I 100% wanted to tear naturally (IF I was going to).

I had no perineum tearing, thank goodness....but I believe it was the water.

But you know what makes the BIGGEST difference on the tear topic...what position your babies head comes out. If your pushing out a posterior baby baby out increases the size you need to stretch by 2 cm!!!!!!!!
The SECOND most important thing is the position YOU are in while pushing. If your on your back with legs up your closing your pelvis as small as it can go....there by more likely to tear.

[alicenwonderland]

Hope this isn't TMI lol. I've been doing it. Wanted to start early. DH does it for me. We kind of make it part of our foreplay. And he usually gets "some" afterwards.

[bittersweet]

I tried it once and it was too awkward. I had a 2nd degree tear. It has healed up beautifully.