[ANGWife]

Would you tell a relative they stink?

Here's my situation: My BIL stays with us every few nights while DH is away. He works in the restaurant business and is bring the smell home. I can't be in the same room as him without wanting to vomit. He sleeps on my couch. The entire couch, all the pillows have this foul odor. Febreeze is no match for this problem. I have to use upholstery cleaner!

I was talking on the phone with DH this morning about the problem and I'm almost positive BIL overheard (I think he was listening at the bottom of the stairs). I didn't say anything too mean hearted other than the smell is terrible, I have to clean the couch, and I'm not sure how he's going to get any dates. BIL left this morning for work with not much of a goodbye. I wonder if I hurt his feelings.

Would you approach him about the smell? Or would you think him over hearing the phone call would be enough and pretend like nothing happened. I'm actually really embarrassed about the whole thing.

I think I would have to bring it up otherwise pretty much die of the fear that I had hurt his feelings. I'll think about how I would approach it.

[*krista*]

I am totally running late for work so all I was able to read was the title, but I just thought I would say I tell my brother that all the time! I suppose it depends on who it is and what kind of relationship you have with them.

[LisanAndy]

Ditto to both girls! That's a tough one!

[midnight_starr]

If it was my brother I would say something, but BIL I would make DH talk to him...

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

This is hard. But you know if I was stinky I would want to be told.

[♥Ashley♥]

I would definitely bring it up! I know EXACTLY the smell you are talking about! I used to work in a restaurant when i was a teen and the smell of me and my clothes when I left that place was disgusting! And I worked in a nice restaurant it was just a smell that being in a restaurant so long gives you! Its sooooo gross! I always went home right away and showered and washed my clothes!

You have to tell him because YOUR things are starting to stink because of him! Its nothing personal really since its the smell of the food and not his armpits or something! Good Luck!

[bittersweet]

I wouldn't say anything. I think I would just cover the couch in old sheets and say you are just protecting the upholstry from over use. I worked in a greasy koney island restaurant in high school (think chili dogs, fries, mustard, greek foods), and my work clothes carried the smell ever after being washed. My mom made me do a seperate load to not contaminate the other clothes. So there really isnt a whole lot he can do about smelling bad. Even if he changed clothes before coming home, he couldn't bring a seperate set in the building with him of it will still absorb the ordors. He'd have to keep a change in the car then go get it and change before coming home. If it is super bothersome, I suppose maybe asking him to change clothes before coming in is all you can do. If you do mention it, try to make emphasize on his work smelling, not on him smelling.

[Chelnae6]

i would bring it up to him directly. Better directly to him than for him to over hear it. Or get your DH to bring it up since its his brother.

You'll definitely need ot get the couch upholstered and maybe put down an old blanket over top of it to try to avoid some of the smell getting to your couch.

What does it smell like?

Oh I would definitely bring it up! He is family, so you can for sure tell them they stink! Just say you don't mind having him stay the night or anything, but new rule is he has to shower when he gets home b/c all his work food odors come home with him! I don't think he will get offended at all if you bring it up like that. And I would put sheets on the couch and maybe use real pillows with pillow cases too. I tell my dad he stinks too much when he smokes a cigar right before he comes over, and then he is stinkin up my couch and everything. So now he doesn't do that. He still smells like cigar but not nearly as much! I even told my mom she was stinkin once I would want to know if I was!

[Mars]

Ditto Michelle.

[Frozendesire]

I'd make my husband do it! haha

[~*sierra*~]

couldnt read all the pp, but honestly just tell him to shower after work cause the smell is getting on the couch. i dont think its too much to ask, and i would tell my SIL that if she did it. i think its the least he can do for staying with you!

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

It's definitely awkward since he overheard you, I would feel embarassed/awkward after that too since you genuinly weren't trying to hurt his feelings. I worked in an italian restaurant and I could NEVER shake the funk of the garlic bread that we gave to every table. It was a really awful smell. Like Erin, I washed my clothing separately and it was still awful and even like being in the shower after running my fingers through my hair to wash it I could still smell it on my hands. I am glad that its a restaurant smell he has and not a bodily one because that would be more difficult to bring up. I think it would be appropriate for your husband to bring up, but now that he's overheard you talking about it I think you should address it because otherwise it might be more awkward since he knows its how YOU feel about it and you weren't the one to say anything.

When my granny was dealing with all of her chemo/radiation for her anal cancer sometimes her butt would leak and she would smell and not know and we'd have to tell her. It was awkward but she wanted to know. At least with your BIL its something he can help to a degree.

Just tell him its kind of like a smoker - he's around the smell all the time so it probably doesn't bother him as much... but your couch is starting to smell like it and youd' appreciate it if he took a shower and changed clothes when eh got home. He can keep clean clothing at your house. He may still smell a bit but not enough to contaminate your furniture.

Let us know what happens - I'm curious now!

[alicenwonderland]

I used to work at burger king, and the smell of the fryer was just everywhere! Instead of approaching him, offer him a hot shower with a fresh towel, and maybe offer to launder his work clothes. Maybe set up a plastic bag on the floor by front door. That way maybe he'll feel like he has a place, rather than feeling like he's invading your house with his stink.

[~*Bethy*~]

I would say something to him as well. He needs to change at work into clean clothes, and then shower and do laundry when he comes home!!! I would talk to him yourself, and just be hey dude, this is my couch, and I like sitting on my couch, so respect my couch...

....now if the couch smelled like bacon it would be a whole nuther story ....

[Trannyfromtheuk]

Maybe start the convo with 'Im not sure if you over heard me talking to Dh but I dont want you getting the wrong end of the stick'

If i am being honest i would rather someone tell me straightr because , he could not even notice he smells?

[faith*hope*love]

I would definetly bring it up because he might be assuming from the parts that he heard, that you think he has BO instead of just that it is the smell of his work. I think if you clarify that he shouldn't be too upset and it might make him feel better if his feelings are already hurt.

[Resi]

I agree that you need to talk to him about it since he over heard you. I would start with something like you don't want to hurt his feelings but... if he showers, and has a sheet and pillowcase that should take care of it.. I hope for you and your sofa's sake! Let us know what happens.