Mommy's w/ 2 or more

Angelaosaurus-rex · #21 March 17th, 2010, 04:30 AM

I have no experience but me and my older sister are 3.5 months apart and we are and have always been close!

Adriana's Mommy · #22 March 17th, 2010, 06:10 AM

How old was your first born when the second baby arrived (and so on)? Exactly 2 years apart

How did he/she adjust? Not so bad.. But she does get jealous

How did you adjust? It was hard at first to take care of a newborn and a 2 year old.. I love to read to Adriana and play with her, but when A.J arrived Adriana was upset that I had to say no to somethings.. I felt like I was being torn in two different directions.

Your husband?He adjusted fine.. But then again, he's never been alone with both kids that much

Do you like the age gap? Any pluses or minuses? I wanted my kids to be 2 years apart (exactly 24 months).. I'd say the plus is they will play with each other and still be vary close. The minus, in the beginning it's hard.. Your technically still taking care of 2 babies.. Even though she's 2 years old, doesn't mean she can entertain and take care of herself like a 3 or 4 year old can

Resi · #23 March 17th, 2010, 06:16 AM

I know a close age gap or a far apart age gap doesn't mean there will always be a friendship. My brother and I are 2 years apart. We were close growing up but we are not in adulthood. Damon and his sister are 7 years apart and they are close now as adults. My mom and her sister are 3 years apart and never talk. Then I have friends are are very close to their siblings. It can work so many different ways. I just hope that my children remain life long friends like any mother would want.

ANGWife · #24 March 17th, 2010, 06:50 AM

My brother and I are 5 yrs apart and he hated me growing up

Or that could have just been him. But what I think really stunk was that when he moved out at 17, I felt like any only child which was very saddening.

Anyways, I have this internal battle all the time. I just can't believe that I will have enough love in my heart to give another child. But then again, when I was pregnant, I didn't think I'd have it for Henry. The bond that we have is so incredible, and I'm afraid of changing that. Ed and I are his whole world, and won't it just flip it all crazy if we add a sibling?

I KNOW I want more children. But I'm scared to move on.

IamMom · #25 March 17th, 2010, 07:08 AM

I was scared too Morgan, however Harrison took adding Nora to the family the best of all of us I think ....you can do it girl!

.Brandi. · #26 March 17th, 2010, 07:18 AM

How old was your first born when the second baby arrived (and so on)?
Edward was 2 years and 10 months old.

How did he/she adjust? Fine at first....then I got post partum depression and it was bad for all!!

How did you adjust? Terribly....I have a few theories as to why....

Your husband? Fine....he went back to work when Preston came home!

Do you like the age gap? Any pluses or minuses? If I hadn't gotten post partum depression, I think the age gap would have been great. From a neutral stand point....it was great because Edward was always wanting to help and be involved with his little brother.....but it was hard for me during my depression because I was still in pain from the c-section and I couldn't pick Edward up and love on him. Edward still had a lot of needs...more since Preston had been born and when Preston cried, so did he and that became VERY overwhelming for me.

ANGWife · #27 March 17th, 2010, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IamMom

I was scared too Morgan, however Harrison took adding Nora to the family the best of all of us I think ....you can do it girl!

I have a question to add to you mommies

Was your first child needy? Did they demand alot of YOUR attention? Or were they okay with EVERYone giving them attention, KWIM?

SandKmommy · #28 March 17th, 2010, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANGWife

Was your first child needy? Did they demand alot of YOUR attention? Or were they okay with EVERYone giving them attention, KWIM?

Seamus was very independent and didn't like being held much. But he also had major developmental delays being in OT and then both OT and PT from 3mo old till 16mo(when we moved to Nebraska, he would have been in till 3yrs if we wouldn't have moved) and it was hard emotionally having a child that had/s problems

and if your meaning after kieran was born no he was very independent till recently, I dnt know whats up with him but hes been up my butt(and dh's too) for the last 2months

.Brandi. · #29 March 17th, 2010, 08:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANGWife

I have a question to add to you mommies

Was your first child needy? Did they demand alot of YOUR attention? Or were they okay with EVERYone giving them attention, KWIM?

Morgan, for me...Edward was very independant before Preston was born....but then became very needy and ONLY wanted ME! He wasn't happy if DH or someone else was paying attention to him....he only wanted me!

Resi · #30 March 17th, 2010, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANGWife

My brother and I are 5 yrs apart and he hated me growing up

Or that could have just been him. But what I think really stunk was that when he moved out at 17, I felt like any only child which was very saddening.

Anyways, I have this internal battle all the time. I just can't believe that I will have enough love in my heart to give another child. But then again, when I was pregnant, I didn't think I'd have it for Henry. The bond that we have is so incredible, and I'm afraid of changing that. Ed and I are his whole world, and won't it just flip it all crazy if we add a sibling?

I KNOW I want more children. But I'm scared to move on.

That is something I think about almost every single day and night. It's one reason I would like to have only Oliver. But I know I want another. I forgot to ask a question about this and it's something that I always feel sad about when thinking of adding to our family.

Quote:

Originally Posted by .Brandi.

How old was your first born when the second baby arrived (and so on)?
Edward was 2 years and 10 months old.

How did he/she adjust? Fine at first....then I got post partum depression and it was bad for all!!

How did you adjust? Terribly....I have a few theories as to why....

Your husband? Fine....he went back to work when Preston came home!

Do you like the age gap? Any pluses or minuses? If I hadn't gotten post partum depression, I think the age gap would have been great. From a neutral stand point....it was great because Edward was always wanting to help and be involved with his little brother.....but it was hard for me during my depression because I was still in pain from the c-section and I couldn't pick Edward up and love on him. Edward still had a lot of needs...more since Preston had been born and when Preston cried, so did he and that became VERY overwhelming for me.

Brandi, I worry about how it will be recovering from a c/s with a toddler and newborn. I know Oliver will most likely still be nursing. I'm not sure how I will pick Oliver up and let him nurse like he does now. He always climbs all over me. I would like a vbac but I have a strong feeling it will be another c/s for me. I hate the thought of being away from Oliver while I'm in the hospital too.

He has never been away from me over night.

Resi · #31 March 17th, 2010, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANGWife

I have a question to add to you mommies

Was your first child needy? Did they demand alot of YOUR attention? Or were they okay with EVERYone giving them attention, KWIM?

Oliver is very attached to me. He isn't okay with just anyone giving him attention. He wants his mama. He is attached to me 24/7 usually. He even naps in my arms!

#32 March 17th, 2010, 08:49 AM

Interesting thread.

Jack isn't really needy. I think I kind of smother him actually

If I managed to get pregnant in the next 2 years I think he would do fine, but I don't really know. I agree with you all that it depends on the child's personality. I imagine it is harder the more needy the baby is, and easier the more independent they are no matter the age. But maybe your next will be more like Jack and so you could get pregnant now! lol

LisanAndy · #33 March 17th, 2010, 08:59 AM

Up until I was holding Rylie in my arms I couldn't fathom how I could possibly love another child the way I love Taylor. It's exactly the same love... I can't describe it. I felt guilty my whole pregnancy like I was "dethroning" Taylor or something. It was such a silly fear. I now realize I GAVE Taylor something, I didn't take anything away. My time might be slightly divided but Taylor and I always have alone time together every day. Taylor was and is VERY needy. Rylie is such an easy child. In the beginning, newborns are such blobs anyway that most of my time and attention still went to Taylor. It wasn't until Rylie was about 2.5/3 months old that she started getting more interactive and wanted to watch Taylor. It's no where near as hard as you'd think, I promise!

#34 March 17th, 2010, 09:12 AM

Stephanie, I agree about spending 1-1 time with your children. Cohen was at home with me until he was 6 months old when he started daycare. Abe will be about 5.5 months when he starts daycare so I've been able to spend *almost* the same amount of time at home with just him. We've really needed it because w/ all of Abe's issues (reflux/allergy/constant crankiness for 4 months) I had a really hard time bonding with him. I've always loved him, but I didn't have that instant connection that I had with Cohen. We spend most of our time together as a family (when DH is home from work) but we still get 1-1 time with the kids on the weekends. I will take one of the kids out with me to run errands while DH stays home with the other one. Or sometimes my mom will watch one of the boys while we both do something with the other.

Lisa you said it perfectly for me in our decisions to have our kids close together when you said "This may sound like a selfish reason but I'm ready to start sleeping through the night again and get passed all the nap, eating schedules and the closer together you have them, you get passed those stages quicker. I love babies but I prefer them to be around 6 months and up LoL."

In regards to personalities, Cohen has always been the happiest most easy going baby. Abe was miserable the first 4 months, poor guy, but he is pretty laid back too. He is easy to calm when he fusses and is happy with anyone. He is more needy than Cohen was, but I really believe it's because of his reflux and that he doesn't feel well. Now that he is getting closer to 6 months old he is like a new baby

SandKmommy · #35 March 17th, 2010, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Resi

Brandi, I worry about how it will be recovering from a c/s with a toddler and newborn. I know Oliver will most likely still be nursing. I'm not sure how I will pick Oliver up and let him nurse like he does now. He always climbs all over me. I would like a vbac but I have a strong feeling it will be another c/s for me. I hate the thought of being away from Oliver while I'm in the hospital too.

He has never been away from me over night.

I wasn't planning on having a c-section, but when we found out about her being breech at 35weeks and all our home remedies didn't work we realized at 37.5weeks it would happen(tried to do home things till she was born a week later too) and I was hard but dh was home for a week to help and my mom was here and that helped. After the c-section just take it easy, if hes older he'll understand that you can't have him all over you. I showed Seamus the incision and told him I had a big owie and he couldnt' be sitting on me. If he is still nursing I'd tell him to sit by you or lay down with you to nurse.

Resi · #36 March 17th, 2010, 10:32 AM

While Oliver is attached to me he does very well when I watch another baby 3 times a week. I know he would do good because of that. My worry is nap and night time when he needs me a lot.

**Jenn** · #37 March 17th, 2010, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisanAndy

Up until I was holding Rylie in my arms I couldn't fathom how I could possibly love another child the way I love Taylor. It's exactly the same love... I can't describe it. I felt guilty my whole pregnancy like I was "dethroning" Taylor or something. It was such a silly fear. I now realize I GAVE Taylor something, I didn't take anything away. My time might be slightly divided but Taylor and I always have alone time together every day. Taylor was and is VERY needy. Rylie is such an easy child. In the beginning, newborns are such blobs anyway that most of my time and attention still went to Taylor. It wasn't until Rylie was about 2.5/3 months old that she started getting more interactive and wanted to watch Taylor. It's no where near as hard as you'd think, I promise!

I agree 100% Lisa! I was a wreck most of my pregnancy with Lochy wondering how in the world i could ever love another child as much as I love Liam. Then once he was born it just was like he was always with us. He fit into the mix so well. I too felt like we were short changing Liam and his time with us but, like Lisa said, the gift of his brother far outweighs any "alone" time he may have missed out on. I do take the boys one on one and so does Ian so they each still have their special time with just us. And then there was my thinking that Lochy never got that alone time that Liam got because he was our first and he does extremely well. Just like Lila will never get that time because she's got two brothers we also have to take care of. You will find the time for all your kids and the love too. It's not sharing your love between your children, it grows and there is 100% for each one. I just hope the boys continue to be great friends as they grow up.

Resi · #38 March 17th, 2010, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SandKmommy

I wasn't planning on having a c-section, but when we found out about her being breech at 35weeks and all our home remedies didn't work we realized at 37.5weeks it would happen(tried to do home things till she was born a week later too) and I was hard but dh was home for a week to help and my mom was here and that helped. After the c-section just take it easy, if hes older he'll understand that you can't have him all over you. I showed Seamus the incision and told him I had a big owie and he couldnt' be sitting on me. If he is still nursing I'd tell him to sit by you or lay down with you to nurse.

Thanks for letting me know how it worked for you. I guess if Oliver is near Seamus's age he should be able to understand.

I'm loving this thread. It helps ease a lot of worries.

~* Helen *~ · #39 March 17th, 2010, 02:33 PM

How old was your first born when the second baby arrived (and so on)? Ryan was 5 and 3 months ish when Chloe arrived.

How did he/she adjust? He adjust with no trouble at all .. with him being so much older he really understood very well that she would need a lot of attention and he was in the posistion to help a great deal

How did you adjust? Fine no problems at all

Your husband? Same really

Do you like the age gap? Any pluses or minuses? I would have liked a closer age gap .. as it turns out she took 4 years to concieve .. but I do like the age gap as it means he is at school so I can do what I did with him with her.

IamMom · #40 March 17th, 2010, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ANGWife

I have a question to add to you mommies

Was your first child needy? Did they demand alot of YOUR attention? Or were they okay with EVERYone giving them attention, KWIM?

Harrison was not and is not needy....he was usually content with just about anyone's attention...however he was closer to me than DH I think especially because between 9 mos and 1 year of age we didn't live with DH - we moved to NC so I could start my new job before tax season and lived with my mom while our house was being built and then lived in the house waiting for DH to be discharged from the navy up in VA. He was definintely a mama's boy but wasn't needy. I guess me wanting to give each of my kids (since I'll have just the two neither will be hindered by baby while they are in the toddler stage) that time without being hindered was what I wanted and I made that happen by how we spaced our kids....I think that's what any momma has to do - try to space her kids according to how it will work out best for her wants in a relationship with her kids and her abilities to handle different aspects of parenting!