[Chelnae6]

I dont know who here is a SAHW with no kids but if there are any or if you know any, is their day really busy or just as busy as SAHMs?

I ask because I have a friend who, although they're struggling financially, doesnt work. We text every now and then but she always acts as if she's so busy. They just moved into an apt about a month ago after living with her husbands parents for a long time. She's always busy during the day and when she texts me, our convos arent that long b/c she has something to do (mainly laundry or cooking). They have 1 car which her husband uses to go to and fro' work everyday.

I'm not trying to judge or criticize or anything like that, I'm just trying to understand. I know life of a SAHM can be pretty busy between running after little ones, keeping the house in order and helping out hubby when needed. But Im a WOH soon to be mom who is the primary care taker of my home and even I'm not as busy as she is. Help me understand... somebody...

[LisanAndy]

I started SAH when I was 33 weeks pregnant with Taylor and I did stuff but I personally wasn't that busy. I actually would get bored. Now that I have kids it's a TOTALLY different story.... at least 1 load of laundry every day, cook 3 meals, bathe and clothe the kids, change millions of diapers, clean all fingerprints, 2 loads of dishes, vacuuming the entire house (lots of crumbs LoL!), wiping all the tile floors, learning and play time with the kids which doesn't include discipline which can be very constant and time consuming with a hard headed 2 year old LoL, and I still try to keep up with myself; my shower, shaving, getting dressed, brushing my hair, brushing my teeth... all of which are a total challenge to get accomplished. When kids are screaming and crying all day and you're constantly stopping to make sure they're not killing each other and still making time to spend quality time in the evening with your husband... it's VERY VERY busy here LoL. I get MAYBE 30 mins to myself everyday. I only get on here when my girls are caught up in something for a few mins at a time

[midnight_starr]

I have been a stay at home fiance/wife since we graduated high school... I do have my reasonings behind it.. I'm not lazy and just didn't want to work, I have issues with my anxiety/depression that has always kept me from holding a job for a long amount of time so DH finally just told me to stop stressing myself out with trying to work and just stay home..

With that said yes I can be very busy.. I do keep busy by keeping my house clean.. I am not an overly anal cleaner but if I am home all day there is no reason for my house to be a wreck!! I'll run errands from time to time if something has to be done (groceries,bank, post office etc.) I take the hour drive once a week to visit my grandmother... I also will get out of the house and go visit with my parents... I try to have dinner cooked by the time DH gets home from work.. Some days yes I do sit home and have nothing to do, but I usually find things to do to keep busy!!!!

[♥Ashley♥]

My sister was a stay at home fiance for about a year before she got pregnant. She got really bored most of the time, dont get me wrong her house was always extremely clean, and she was a total neat freak...but it definitely didnt take 8 hours of the day or something to keep it clean. She was bored ALOT. The reason she didnt have to work was because her fiance had a very very well paying job and there was just no reason, she was going to school a few hours each day and cleaning house and keeping up with it so really no need to throw working in there when it wasnt a necessity. So I only have my sister to speak for, but she was always looking for something to do

[soImarriedAnerd]

I was a SAHW before london...... I even had housekeeping and didn't cook. But you know what I stayed busy. You find things to do or your going to go insane doing nothing. And I didn't have a tv option even. I think thats why even know with london people are surprised how much I get out and do things.....its just the way I am.

I would read, go to the pool/beach, I LOVE to people watch, visit local sites, go for hikes/walks, find classes of something to take, make friends and hang out with them doing stuff, bowling, movies, photography, etc, etc.
You get what you make out of it. I learned alot about me the years I was a SAHW, it really shined a light on the type of person I was.

Oh and on rainy crappy days I was on JM.....HAHAHAHA

Originally Posted by midnight_starr

I have been a stay at home fiance/wife since we graduated high school... I do have my reasonings behind it.. I'm not lazy and just didn't want to work, I have issues with my anxiety/depression that has always kept me from holding a job for a long amount of time so DH finally just told me to stop stressing myself out with trying to work and just stay home..

With that said yes I can be very busy.. I do keep busy by keeping my house clean.. I am not an overly anal cleaner but if I am home all day there is no reason for my house to be a wreck!! I'll run errands from time to time if something has to be done (groceries,bank, post office etc.) I take the hour drive once a week to visit my grandmother... I also will get out of the house and go visit with my parents... I try to have dinner cooked by the time DH gets home from work.. Some days yes I do sit home and have nothing to do, but I usually find things to do to keep busy!!!!

If that EVER happens while I'm here and you want to do something-call me, even last second

[Chelnae6]

Thanks ladies! I just couldnt understand it. She doesnt have a car so she cant really get around and we dont live in a city city where she can walk around and sight see. I was just a little confused on how she could be soo busy when they were living with her ILs. She's almost always home. At least I know that yall have down time and are not always "go-go-go I'm uber busy all the time" and that yall do have time for yourselves to read, pamper, shop, go out, etc. I was just confused. Maybe she only texts me when she's doing housework.

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

I was a sahw before having Landen and I was always VERY busy I volunteered over 100 hours a week.

[LadyGamer]

I'm a SAHW. I go out once or twice a week with friends but other than that, I'm not really busy. Cleaning here or there is about it.

[*JenJen*]

I was a SAHW while we were in Italy and I was almost always busy, but I had huge volunteer jobs, actually ran my own S4H business from home eventually and spent a lot of time oding that, etc.

[soImarriedAnerd]

NOT having a car makes me MORE busy because I have to walk to do things. so a thing that I could simply drive to and back now takes 5 times longer!

[ShannonMVT]

I worked part time for awhile before I got pregnant with Matthew and while I was pregnant with him and a lot of people didn't understand even that and thought I should be full time. But like others I had my reasons one being that I'm pretty low energy, I feel like crap if I don't get enough sleep (9-10 hrs a night would be my ideal but doesn't happen, haha)
Anyway, I stayed busy but I'm more busy now. I used to keep the house nicer and now it's always dirty and messy because when Matthew's up I can't get much done, when he naps I usually take a nap (b/c I'll be up with him at night) and then free time I just want to lounge on the computer for a little bit at least instead of doing housework every spare moment.
I think sometimes it also has to do with how much Dh's do. Like my Dh really has it pretty good. When I was working PT I did everything but the yard. All the cooking, cleaning (we have a pretty big house too), grocery shopping, any errands like taking the car to get oil changed, etc. I still do almost everything now that I'm a SAHM.
I can also see how if you cook every day from scratch, that does take a lot of time. I'd love to do that more but so many yummy things require a lot of time to make!
When Matthew was a newborn I considered the day a success if I got to eat 3 meals and got my teeth brushed that day.

[IamMom]

Chel - I forget if you said you're going to work after baby Lani comes? I feel like one of the only working moms here, since Resi and Bre don't work (outside the home) anymore Oh wait - Mari works still! I'm not alone! YIPPEE!

Trust me - I know ALL moms work!

[Chelnae6]

Michelle "Baconslut" works outside the home too!

Yes I'll be going back to work after 7 or 8 weeks of maternity leave, unless I hit the powerball or megamillions!!!

Shannon - that last sentence

Thanks for clarifying ladies. I still dont know what she does all day, maybe one day I'll ask her.

Angela "Mrs. Nerd" that makes sense!

[IamMom]

I think "bacon ****" is 100% jack's mommy now....Michelle????

Yeah this "baconslut" is a sahm now! I made it one week at work after my maternity leave, haha. The idea of working again is appealing though, as much as I love my little dude. I seem to be one of the few sahms I know that has felt a keen ennui (boredom) lately. Maybe something with my "own" hours. like a photographer! That would be so cool if I had the skills.

I never was a sahw though.

[bittersweet]

I go back to work in 2 weeks, but starting mid July I'll be a SAHM until further notice.

I am a SAHWfor multiple medical reasons and I do keep up with the house, have at least 3 medical appointments a week, and spend a pretty good amount of time with my sister & nephew during the week. HOWEVER, I am often pretty bored. I WANT TO WORK and hope that I can at some point.

[alicenwonderland]

I guess I was a SAHW for 6 months after getting married. I did go to school though, but it definately did not fill my time. I would clean, and always have dinner on the table... but I did get bored. I would lay on the couch and look at the ceiling. I was actually kind of depressed.

I'm much happier now that I work... though my house is a stye, and i never cook dinner anymore. (but i am the breadwinner )

[~Jess~]

I think that although a sahw may keep herself busy, it's a very different kind of busy than a sahm. Sure a sahw may keep herself busy with different activities, but they are most likely for her own pleasure or of her own choosing.

A sahm's busyness revolves around caring for another person, and cleaning up after another person. It's totally different. Holy hell, I'd love to take hang out by the pool and read, or maybe take a yoga class, or volunteer and feel like I was giving back to the community. Being a sahm is a thankless job with very little "me" time.

Instead I have to scrub poop off the walls, and then vacuum up the chips that my kids threw all over the living room while I was cleaning poop off the walls. Then I have to fold the mountains of laundry that my kids create when they go thru 2-3 outfits per day. Then I have to chase after them and tell them not to freakin' pile up tons of boxes to try to get something down from off a top shelf, or not to dog-pile on their sister, etc. Then, of course, there's dinner to prepare (I realize sahw do this too), and be sure it's something everyone will and can eat (darn gluten-free, dairy-free diet!). And putting 3 kids to bed is no easy task either. It usually takes about 1.5 hours out of my day. And this isn't even a fraction of what I do and I'm only home half the time! When I was home all day long---OMG, it was just never-ending!

[IamMom]

Yippe for more outside the house working moms!
And Alice - you breadwinner you - ....are you going to still work after baby? I used to be the breadwinner when DH was in the navy but not anymore - I gave up the long overtime hours and super intense position for my dream job I have now and more time with my kiddos. It's worth it - its the best of both worlds...still pursueing my career in a low stress environment and spending lots of time with my kids.

Michelle - I believe you totally have the skills to be a photographer...if you ...um...say moved out east I'd totally have you take my kids pics!