[ANGWife]

Yesterday, I was so mad I was seeing red.

It's no new issues that everyone wants to feed Henry things I don't approve of. But the worst is that I'm not getting enough support from DH.

So last night, we went to my nephew's birthday party, and of course there was cake and ice cream. Now anyone that knows me well knows that I am crazy in love with ice cream. I've even mentioned many times that I can't wait to share our first ice cream cone together. DH was holding Henry, I hear him say "Oh Morgan, take a look at this" with a huge smile on his face as he is LETTING my dad feed him ice cream!!!!! I said my dad's name in a loud voice and I think I embarrassed him (there were like 2 dozen people there we didn't know well). I said we've never let him have that before and I was saving it for his 1st birthday. My step mom butts in, I guess because she was upset I was raising my voice, and said "oh it's just ice cream. It's not a big deal. He won't remember it." Then this lady sitting next to me asked "how old is he? He hasn't had ice cream YET?"

That's when I started to really raise my voice and almost everyone was staring at us. This other guy said "he's you first. Wait until you have more and you won't care." I gave my nephew a hug and got me and Henry the hell out of there (I later called my brother to apologize I felt so bad). On the drive home, I let it out on Ed. He KNOWS how important the food issues are with me, let alone ice cream. I didn't even give him the chance to explain, cause as far as I'm concerned there is no excuse to let that knowingly happen.

After an hour of silence, He apologized and said he didn't know what to tell my dad and was worried he'd look bad. Well when the hell is he gonna grow some and stand up for me (and Henry actually). I'm not against cake and occasional sweets when he's older. Afterall, that's what birthdays are. Everyone must think I deprive him of any joy *major eye roll*

Ok, so I've calmed down alot now. But I'm really disappointed that I can't trust anyone to watch my son. I swear, if I could give any advice to a new mom it's to make your choices and say F U to anyone who tries to make you feel bad about them.

[freesiangel]

I probably would've reacted the same way. I already know it's going to be battle after battle with my and DH's family when it comes to food. It's one of the reasons I'm happy we live so far apart (though there are reasons I'm sad that we live so far apart). I'm the same way with sweets, none before Xander is a year old, but I know I will probably find someone sneaking him something before then even if I make myself perfectly clear. DH never stands up for me about "silly" things like that anyway, so I don't expect support. If his mom wants to pop a piece of cake into Xander's mouth, I'm sure he'll let her...

[~*sierra*~]

how frustrating.......i am glad ur dh explained himself and apologized though.

[bittersweet]

I can understand your frusteration. My mom and MIL both understand my wishes, but I know when they aren't around they bend my rules. For instance, my MIL insists that Jenna cries sometimes because she is thirsty and wants water I've explained to her that all babies need is breastmilk/formula and that Drs recommend NOT giving babies water. But I know when I'm not looking she puts some in the baby's mouth with a spoon. I don't love this, but as long as she isnt trying to give her a bottle of water, I just leave it alone. You have to pick your battles. While our families should listen to us since it isnt their child...I don't think anyone family members do with the children exactly what the parents want.

And maybe Ed doesn't feel as strongly about the food issue as you do. He might not really care either way. He might have just said he feels the same and didn't want to offend your father b/c you were already upset and he didn't want to upset you more. If this is the case, maybe you guys can reach middle ground. Maybe only on special outings with family can he experiment with food, but not on a regular basis at home.

Anyhow, I'm sure you didn't make as much of a scene as you think. People were probably too busy watching your cute boy and nephew to realize you were upset.

Off topic-

OMG Lauren, LOVE your siggy and Xander's hair! How cute!

[ANGWife]

Originally Posted by bittersweet

And maybe Ed doesn't feel as strongly about the food issue as you do. He might not really care either way. He might have just said he feels the same and didn't want to offend your father b/c you were already upset and he didn't want to upset you more. If this is the case, maybe you guys can reach middle ground. Maybe only on special outings with family can he experiment with food, but not on a regular basis at home.

Ed has told me he isn't as concerned about it as I am. But we had agreed that car safety and food are my important issues. Since he doesn't care he said he would support me.

[CandaceDianne]

I would have been just as upset whether is was over food or something else that meant a lot to me. I can totally understand you wanting to experience most of his firsts with you and DH. Its not like you can just get back another first time.

[midnight_starr]

I would have acted the same way... I feel other people should respect your parenting decisions.. I hope I don't have any of these issues with my children but I'm sure I will..

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

I would have flipped too. And I hate when people make stupid comments about oh this must be your first. I have a friend who always purposely tried to give Landen junk because she knew it pissed me off.

[.Brandi.]

Morgan, I'm so sorry! I know exactly what you mean! When Edward was a baby I didn't allow any cookies or cakes and such in my house. I didn't really eat them and I didn't want Edward to get the idea that you eat that kind of junk when you're hungry or want a snack. Well, my parents made fun of me for it. Diabetes runs VERY high on Chris' side and mine as well. So I don't want my kids getting a lot of sweets because of that and my parents told me that I don't know how to let go and let my child live! Yes, because eating candy is the only way to live!

[soImarriedAnerd]

I would have done something similar also.

[~*Bethy*~]

This is one of the issues I have with MIL. Whenever she watches my kids, they ALWAYS get ice cream and......SODA!!!!! ***?! my kids are allowed an occasional 4OZ glass of sprite, but thats on OCCASION and MY DOING. So I stopped letting her watch them (which sucks because shes right next to the barn and its easy to drop them off and pick em up) this ties into my old post about her not giving a ****, and whenever she does see them, she spoils them ok rant over LOL!! But I agree, Ed needs to step up and support your decision. Jay has problems with this as well and it drives me nuts. He never stood up to his mom about the sweets and soda, so I would drop VERY subtle hints that it was NOT ok.

~Beth

[Resi]

I understand your feelings and anger on this subject. My mom gave Oliver food I didn't approve of when shr use to watch him. She also recently told me she would let him watch Sesame Street when she knows I don't want any TV until after the age of 3. It makes me so mad when my wishes are not followed. It just goes to show I can't trust anyone with my child. ugh.. sorry you had to go hrough that. Don't feel bad for getting upset.

[Miracle]

((Hugs)) That would've been so frustrating! I can totally relate to not having family who respects the way you want to do things. We were living with my family for awhile and I never felt like I could trust them and leave the room.. I am a big germ freak and I don't like sharing food or drinks with anyone but my immediate family (DH and Ella) and my family would always bite off a piece of something and give it to Ella, give her drinks from their cups, feed her from their forks, etc etc. It bugged me so much. I would always tell them not to but they never stopped. I pretty much get walked all over with them. Even simple parenting things they always will say "oh it's not big deal" and then do whatever I just told them not to! It's very frustrating and I can't imagine how it would feel for my husband not to agree and support me. ((Hugs)).

[ShannonMVT]

I'm so sorry that happened, that must be so frustrating! My Dh thinks food isn't a big deal either. We went out to dinner one night and I didn't have any food for Matthew (we weren't planning on going out but he was cranky so we just started driving around) and so we had BBQ burgers and fries. I wanted to give him bits of bread to eat but before I knew it Dh was giving him bits of fries! I felt really bad about it that my kid isn't even a year old and he's already had fries! Dh thought it didn't matter at all though. (They weren't salty at least.)

It's not fair to take away the "fun" of you getting to give it to him the first time either! you are his mommy and you're the one changing poopy diapers and wiping snotty noses and dealing with sleep issues and etc, so you should get the FUN part of being a parent stuff like food intros, NOT them. Bah.

I'm glad you got your rant out Morg. Assholism seemed to take the literal cake yesterday. Hoping today is looking up!

[fromGirltoMommy]

I would have had the EXACT same reaction, only I would have made a biggger hugerrrr scene! My aunt has tried several times to give Kennedi pop, olive jucie, anything really.. and I have FLIPPED out on her EVERY.SINGLE time!! Their babies, like my moms says they have their WHOLE life to eat junk why start them young?

[*krista*]

I agree, I would have felt the same. Icecream in particular was something that was clearly important to you if you were saving it for his first birthday, and that would really upset me. I'm sorry they didn't respect your wishes.