[JediRach]

Just need to get this off my chest. Feel free to ignore. My inlaws are coming in to town for the weekend and I'm pissed. I really really dislike them. They are rude and pushy especially my MIL. They are racist and homophobic and make rude comments to people in public! We live in San Diego. Its a gay mecca and more than 50% Hispanic! It just really frustrates me. They have no respect for anyone who doesn't make the same choices they do. They went off on a racist rant on Christmas about how Michael Vick was involved with dog fighting because he was black and black people have no moral compass! I have the most culturally diverse family on the planet. I seriously have cousins that are black, Haitian, Pakistani, Chinese, and El Salvadorian! Out of 16 grandkids, only my brother and two of my cousins are white. More than half my friends are from other ethic backgrounds.

I have no idea how I am going to get through this weekend without blowing a gasket and with the pregnancy hormones flowing, well who knows whats going to happen. On top of that they have no issue telling me that I am a bad person because I am not conservative and tell me that I am morally inept. They don't think there is anything wrong with animal abuse as long as its no too severe, used to beat their kids, fully support cry it out the fullest extent (as in not even checking to make sure the child is okay and said babies are manipulative starting at birth) and are just down right crazy.

I am deep cleaning my house because if I don't I will have to hear how I'm not a good wife and don't take care of my husband even though we both work the same amount of hours a week. Because I have a vagina I should do everything and basically wipe his *** for him. They have very strict idea of gender roles, aka husband makes all the decisions and wife is responsible for all household chores, cooking, cleaning and child rearing. DH and I are the opposite. We think its 50/50. He has things he is responsible for and I have things that I am responsible for. We split the responsibilities down the middle depending on who is better at/enjoys it more. I would never marry someone who didn't think it was their responsibility to be 100% involved in every aspect of raising our kids. From changing diapers to little league games.

They call my education a joke and a travesty. They don't believe women should be educated and were appalled I didn't drop out of college when Guy and I got engaged because the only reason women go to college is to find a husband. I want to raise my kids to be good people. Strong men and women who know their worth and do what they love. I want my kids to go to college and get an education. I would never tell my daughter any of the things they have said to me or my son for that matter.

How did my husband come from these people? He is such a wonderful man. He is respectful and loves me for my intelligence and independence.

[~*sierra*~]

my question is the same as yours - how did guy come from them!?
*hugs*
they won't be there long, try to grin and bear it and eat a lot of chocolate

[Resi]

Ugh.. I feel sorry for you. They sound horrendous.

[LisanAndy]

WHOA. That sounds horrible, I'm really sorry There are people that are similar in my family too and I try and distance myself from them as much as possible.

[~*Bethy*~]

OMG I hope you have a stash of chocolate!!! Im so sorry I personally would have a sit down dinner with them and layout some rules for them visiting. This is NOT ok when the baby comes!! Maybe you and Guy can go over some keypoint attributes that you 2 share together, and share them with your inlaws and say if you dont like it. Dont come. Simple as that. I wish the best for you this weekend!!!

*also tell them "this is how you will act around OUR child, this is how you WILL NOT act around our child as well. This is not how we will raise OUR child/ren, and we will NOT let you put us down in front of OUR child/ren. Your views may be different, but when you come to visit US, this is how it WILL be."

[Chelnae6]

Maybe Guy was adopted by them right before he met you.

Thats tough. I hope you make it thru this weekend without ending up in jail or having Pre term labor. i'd just try to stay away from them for as long as possible before I blow up on them. Does Guy know how u feel about them?

[**jessie**]

Wow, they sound very 'special'. I just hope you make it through the weekend without injuring anyone. I have no advice- people like that are so set in their ways and will never have an ounce of consideration for anyone who thinks or is different from them. Make up lots of errands you have to run while they are there, and then go chill out in a coffee shop somewhere. Surely, errands are the woman's job, right?

[JediRach]

He knows how I feel and feels the same way but they are his family and he loves them. He's told them many times their actions are unacceptable and they need to be respectful.

I wish they would just agree to disagree. I have friends from every religious and political standpoint. They are just super disrespectful. Generally my feeling is the best way to live is to just do that live and let live.

We've already said we will never leave our children alone with them. I refuse to raise my kids with a message of hate.

[♥Ashley♥]

Ummm WOW. I barely have words for that kind of ignorance... I hope you make it through the weekend, I can tell you I for sure wouldnt! Me and people like that would be constantly fighting. I dont stand for racism or homophobia or any kind of discrimination just like you dont. God I would HATE IL's like that, and they would HATE me!!! Those kind of people are the reason our country cant move forward in being accepting of all different kinds of people. Ugh, makes me so angry!

Im sorry you have to deal with that bull ****!!!

[~*Bethy*~]

And thats how it should be done Kudo's for guy trying!! his parents are a piece of work....geeze!!

[Oriyan]

Wow. Just... wow.

I would tell them if they start that if they wish to be in your home that they respect YOUR rules. Otherwise, there's the door and they can visit elsewhere.

[Frozendesire]

Oh my!

Do they live far away? How far and how often do you socialize with them?

I couldn't handle that in small doses never mind large ones, like a visit for a weekend.

Good luck I hope it goes better then you expect? Although that sounds like wishful thinking

[freesiangel]

If you weren't pregnant I'd recommend buying a bottle of scotch or something and just spending the weekend drunk as hell, buuuuuuuuuuuuuut that really isn't an option for you right now. Sorry!

[JediRach]

They live 3 hours away but they live in the same town my parents do so whenever we visit my family we have to see them. We used to go back and not tell them but sometimes they drive by my parents house to demand dog visitation rights because the dog sat my parents dog for three weeks when my little brother was in the hospital (before we knew about the animal abuse thing). And my parents paid them plus bought dog food and treats and stuff. Two days before my parents went to drop my brother's dog off they demanded he be fixed so my parents had him fixed and groomed.

[Kiwi]

Wow.

Gotta say, how awesome is it that your DH stands up for you and lets them know when they are out of line!! It's so nice that he's that respectful to you.

Totally understand how you feel - I have an IL who I can't stand. I try my best to avoid her as she drives me up the wall. In fact, you may be hearing a long vent from me soon... Apparently she has decided she's going to come stay with us for two weeks from Easter (hasn't asked, just does whatever the h*ll she wants...)...

Oops, sorry, going off on my own little tangent there!!

As some of the previous posters have mentioned, do you best to stay out of the house as much as possible. If they act like pigs, lay down the law coz it's your house, so your rules.

Good luck. Just remember, it's only for a few days.

[*krista*]

Woah. They sound like *tons* of fun! I don't think I would put up with their crap. If they want to be that vocal about those kinds of things then why the heck can't you go off on them for it?? That's the way I see it anyway. I don't envy you right now. Stay strong!

[sara~b]

Punch MIL in the face and then blame pregnancy hormones!

You do NOT need their crap and I hope Guy will be willing to tell them it's time to leave if they start that sh*t while you're pregnant!

[lauren in hi]

you poor, poor girl. i always complain about my ils but they are nowhere near as bad as yours! i was thinking the same thing as sara about punching them and blaming the hormones! i mean, after all, you're just a woman so you probably wouldn't be able to control them, right? geez!

[Mars]

Oh WOW!! Stay strong! Hopefully the time will pass quickly.

[alicenwonderland]

Ugh I'm sooo sorry!

I have a similar problem with my FIL. He's racist, sexist... and just gross. He stayed with us once for a week. He talked on the phone till 2am. (sharing a wall with us). Used dating service on my husbands computer. (even though he lives with his girlfriend) I was so distressed and upset afterwards, that my husband promised me he would never stay with us again. During his last visit, my husband stayed with him at a hotel. Best visit EVER!

When they tell you that you belong barefoot in the kitchen, I would start crying and tell them how horrible they are. Then blame the hormones