[~*sierra*~]

Don't u just love unsolicited advice about how you should be feeling emotionally regarding TTC???????????!!!!! omg i'm just furious with my SIL, she literally just blurted out to me that I seem totally obsessed and that my stressing out is most likely why I am having m/c's, and that she's discussed it with my step-MIL and she agrees. WTH!!!!!????? Oh yeah and they say that I should just 'relax and let it happen when it's going to happen'....I feel like screaming at them, because neither of them know how a miscarriage makes you feel, let alone two in a row, if they did they wouldnt be gossiping about me like that in the first place. I know this stems from the fact that I showed SIL the positive digi that i got on the weekend, cause she looked at it all skeptical at the time, well excuse me for getting excited about that!! i dunno, i feel like its only natural to be excited when you see that, maybe excited and nervous in my case, but still excited to a point.

Honestly, i'm supposed to hang out with SIL tonight, but i just do not even feel like it.....i think i'm just going to avoid her calls......

[CandaceDianne]

I wouldn't meet up with her if you are even the slightest bit upset at her, because you aren't going to enjoy yourself. Im sorry they are butting their heads into your personal life!!

[*krista*]

Aw Sarah that's an awful thing to say! They are in NO way your fault, don't let them make you think that.

[~Caroline~]

That's a terrible thing to say. I hear the same thing (though about TTC, not m/c) and it is very annoying.

[alicenwonderland]

Ugh!!! I HATE people like that!!! I got it all the time, especially from my family. It's like HELLO! I am 23 TTC for nearly two years! That can't be right?

[**Jenn**]

Thats a really awful and hurtful thing to say, not to mention completely untrue. I'm sorry you have to deal with this now on top of everything else. I'd skip the meet up tonight if it was me.

[sara~b]

(((HUGS))) I would tell your SIL and step-MIL exactly how you feel and that m/c's are NOT caused by stress and that you and your OB are working together to get you a happy, healthy, sticky BFP so unless SIL or s-MIL has suddenly received a Doctoral degree in reproductive technology they need to butt out unless they have something supportive to say! Don't let them get you down and don't let them talk to you like any of this is your fault either! We know that there is just a special sticky baby waiting for you!

[midnight_starr]

(((HUGS))) I can't believe they are saying all of that.. If only they knew exactly what you were going through..

[~*sierra*~]

awe thanks everyone. i took a walk with chile and i just got madder about what she said......she is just so hard to stand up to though. i think avoiding her till i am calmer about it would be good, cause even if i try to explain to her what i'm feeling she won't get it, she has no idea. i feel like she thinks if i just wanted the babies a little less i wouldnt have lost them....ARGH!!

[*kyle*]

OMG Sarah, this makes me sick to my stomach to read this. Having gone through 2 m/c myself, I do understand why this is so hurtful. #1 they are not showing you empathy for having gone through two devastating losses and #2 they are talking behind your back like your life is a simple piece of gossip and #3 they are BLAMING you for your own tragedy! That is SO wrong. You have every right to be upset and want to avoid them for a while. That is what I would do.

I wish people would understand - m/c are NOT caused by stress, or worry, or working too hard, or exercising. M/c are ONLY caused by incorrect genetic or hormonal situations. "Relaxing" will NOT cause someone with genetic or hormone issues to get and stay pregnant! No one would tell a person with a genetic disease that they would be cured if they "just relax!!" I hate how much ignorance there is out there. Sure, reproducing is easy for some people, but not for everyone, and it is NOT your fault if you are having trouble. You deserve hugs and sympathy, not gossip and blame that hurts you more.

I am so sorry that this is piling on top of everything else. What a nightmare. I truly feel there are some wonderful things headed your way to balance out all of this bad.

[Trannyfromtheuk]

I can imagine how hurt you must be feeling! I am so sorry you have to be around people who are so insensitive.

My SIL is like that aswell... Even though she knows about me and PCOS she tells me to 'relax and it wil happen when it will happen' or 'its just not the right time' - Hello - I have a MEDICAL condition that is stopping me from getting pregnant...Waiting isnot going to do anything about it

[~*sierra*~]

kyle your post hit the nail on the head......i do just want some sympathy & understanding (which i get oodles of from dh so its wonderful that way). If they ever mention this to me again, I think that i'll end up letting them have a piece of my mind.

Relax and it'll happen.....gawd *shakes head* how is telling anyone that considered being helpful in any way!?

[Trannyfromtheuk]

I have no idea, Im just glad she said it over facebook chat cus i think if she told me in person i would have slapped her into next year

[ShannonMVT]

I hate crap like that, it seriously pisses me off. I would find a good scientific article about how not conceiving and miscarriages are NOT caused by stress. Then send it to SIL and tell her that what she said made you feel worse.

I think people like to have a "reason" to blame for something. And I certainly didn't like to feel like (and I'm sure you don't either) that they are trying to place the blame on something you are doing (stressing, whatever that means) just because they don't have the answers.

Oh and OF COURSE you are going to be excited about a positive digi!

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

Kyle said it all much better than I could. I am so sorry you're not getting support from family, and even sorrier you're getting gossiped about and blamed for your losses. Thats jusst absurd. I think avoiding them right now would be a good idea if you aren't looking to confront them. Hang in there, Sarah. We're here for you.

[~*sierra*~]

thanks everyone....SIL never called me today...maybe she realized she ticked me off....

[Kiwi]

OMG. Your post has made my eyes fill up with tears. That is so heart-less. I don't think people get how deverstating it is to lose a baby... It's one of those experiences that you have to go through to really understand how it effects you... the moment you look at that BFP, all these dreams just fall into place... then when you lose the baby, those dreams are shattered.

I'm so sorry your family isn't supporting you in the way they should be. I guess they just don't 'get it'.

We love you... you can 'obsess' all you want with us!

[Chelnae6]

WOW!! You're not taking an exam... you had miscarriages for Christs sake!!! How does obsessing over TTC give you a m/c. Just doesnt make any sense. They should be there for you for emotional support.

And I agree... Kyle couldnt have said it better. Sorry you had to go thru this.

[Mars]

That just ticks me off!!! I can't put anything better than Kyle and the others did but I can send you more hugs. (((HUGS)))

[freesiangel]

That totally stinks that she'd say that! Ugh! ((((huggles))))