[ShannonMVT]

A lot of you have me on FB, so you know the basic story.

Last Saturday, my dad passed away. His health has been declining over the past year or so since he was diagnosed with dementia (and we think the dementia was caused by brain cancer treatment 15 years ago). He had surgery several weeks ago to remove a mass in his testicle (which was benign) and he ended up getting an infection. He had sepsis caused by Staph. His blood pressure was dropping way, way low and eventually when we knew he wouldn't recover from it, my mom made the decision to take him off antibiotics and the blood pressure meds. After that, he only lasted another hour or two. He slipped away very peacefully as my mom held his hand and told him she loved him and that she'd see him again in heaven.

His funeral was on Wednesday and we came back home on Thursday. I am just now really getting to think about everything and process it.

Matthew was sick with tonsilitis all during this time. Oh and he also scared me and Dh to death the day my dad died. We were running around packing and getting ready to leave and we each thought the other was watching him. We totally panicked when we couldn't find him and come to find out, he crawled all the way up the stairs (yes, baby gate had been left open) and into the upstairs bathroom and was splashing away in the toilet. O.M.G. That kid must have had a flock of guardian angels around him and God must have known I couldn't handle something happening to Matthew on top of everything else.

I would not wish my dad back in the condition he was in. He could not do the things he loved to do, he was in assisted living and he suffered from delusions, some of them caused him to think someone was trying to kill him. We knew this was coming. It just hurts. I am so sad that I will never get to tell him I love him again. I will never get to hear his voice again.

I believe I will see him in heaven. I was telling my mom it's so funny how dates work out sometimes. My dad died on April 17. April 18 was Thomas' (the baby I lost) due date. I like to think he is up there with his grandbaby.

Thanks to all those who have been thinking of me and those who have been praying for my family. I will be okay, or at least as okay as I can be. I'm just sad right now and I will always have an empty place in my life now without my dad.

[sara~b]

It sounds like your mom did the right thing. Saying goodbye to my dad was the hardest thing I ever did but I really appreciate having lots of good memories that include my dad. I am sure your dad is looking out for you and Matthew and I hope you stay as strong as you are right now!

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

Ugh, reading this totally make me get choked up. I still miss my dad everyday. I know what you mean about being sad to see them go, but knowing its the best for them as they aren't happy and 'themselves' here anymore. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts & prayers. How's Matthew doing now?

[A*LOT*OF*HOPE]

I am so glad you updates us!!!! I am also so sorry about your dad!!! You and our mom are very strong.

[LisanAndy]

Oh gosh hun, I'm so terribly sorry. I can't even imagine how your feeling right now Praying for you ((HUGS))

[Resi]

My thoughts have been with you this past week. Although his health wasn't good it still must be very hard to lose a parent.

I'm glad Matthew was okay that day climbing the stairs and playing in the toliet. That must have given you a good scare.

[midnight_starr]

(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry you have to go through this.. I'll be keeping you guys in my thoughts!

[CandaceDianne]

Wow, I am really sorry! Your mom (and family) sound really strong. You know he is in a much better place now, but I know it's not easy to look at the positive right now. We are here if you need anything! {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[.Brandi.]

I'm so sorry for your loss! I replied to your FB status last week I believe....I don't really know what it's like to lose someone who means so much. My cousin died when she was 9 years old, it'll be 5 years in August since she died. She was mentally retarded so, there was no emotional connection on her side. She couldn't talk or really function at all on her own. But I was so desperately sad that she died and very sad for my uncle. Edward was just a month and 10 days old when she died. It's bittersweet....you don't want them to go, but you know it's best for them. You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers. And I hope Matthew recovers quickly from his tonsilitis!

[ScottishBrit]

Im sorry Shannon I know how it feels to lose your dad and my heart breaks for you. Im glad Matthew is ok after getting into trouble! Were always forgetting about our gate too. Luckily nothing has happened but it makes DH want a 1 story!

[ANGWife]

Originally Posted by ShannonMVT

I believe I will see him in heaven. I was telling my mom it's so funny how dates work out sometimes. My dad died on April 17. April 18 was Thomas' (the baby I lost) due date. I like to think he is up there with his grandbaby.

What a beautiful thought. My SIL and I had out m/cs a month apart. I just know they are in heaven taking care of each other until we can join them.

Once again, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. I'm so glad he passed peacefully and your mom had those few moments with him. I'm always here if you need to talk.

[Mars]

I'm so sorry about your dad. Your mom is so strong. T&Ps for you and your family.

[~*sierra*~]

i'm so sorry to hear about your dad passing away, but i know he is in a better place *hugs*

[bittersweet]

I'm sorry to hear about your father's passing. It is the hardest thing to see a loved one slip away, especially when they aren't in their normal state. I'm sure he is now with Thomas looking down and smiling at your beautiful family.

[~Caroline~]

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You're in my thoughts.

[Chelnae6]

(((((((HUGS))))))) Although death is something that none of us want to face, its good that he's in a better place and able to roam around and do many of the things that he couldnt do his last days here. Death is never easy to accept, but is something that we all can cope and manage.

I know that he is looking down on you all and smiling at you all while holding Thomas

[*krista*]

Goodness Shannon, I had no idea! I'm so sorry. It is difficult to lose someone you love, especially your dad, expected or not.

[alicenwonderland]

I'm very sorry for your loss. It has to be so hard. At the same time, i'm really glad your father is no longer suffering, and that he went peacefully. Praying for you and your family during your grieving.

[~* Helen *~]

Oh sweetie ... have been thinking of you .. glad you updated xx xx

[faith*hope*love]

Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't know until just now, but I'm am sending prayers your way even if they are a little late! Thank goodness Matthew didn't get into any danger!!!