This time last year...

Trannyfromtheuk · #1 May 4th, 2010, 06:51 AM

I tried to type this out last night but got so mad and upset i couldnt do it. I just wanted to throw the laptop

I came off the pill the day after my Hen Party. A year ago yesterday. 3 weeks before I got married in my Black Wedding dress to the love of my life.

I didnt think id still be sat here a year later - babyless & still a little family of 3.
As far as I was concerned I could get pregnant - Mia is living proof of that right? So having another baby should have been a walk in the park as far as I was concerned.
That 1st month I thought it would happen with no problems and so by Febuary I would have another addition to my family.
That month came and went aswell as subsequent months.

Then I had a dream, THE dream that made me feel like I would be prego soon - It was christmas. I was watching Mia opening her presents and I was stroking my perfectly round baby bump. Everything seemed so perfect and I was content with my little family.
Then as christmas grew closer and the lack of periods making it impossible to come true. I started having all these tests. Being told by my doctor that she couldnt 'confirm or deney, but have most probally got pcos' and that i was being transfered to a fertility doctor. I wanted to cry. That wasnt my dream, that wasnt how it should have been.

Then about a week later, My mum phoned me up...My younger sister is pregnant. I cried so hard it hurt. In my eyes that should have been my baby. I wanted a baby, She didnt. I eventually got over being full of self pitty and apologized to my sister and told her I was pleased for her. Shes now 26wks prego and due Aug 7th with my neice - Jeanie May.

After Christmas, More tests were carried out. In March I got the news I was expecting but it still hurt to have an offical diagnosis. I have PCOS & I had to have a HSG to make sure I wasnt blocked. I had that last week. I have no blockage. I was also advised to loose weight incase after trying everything else we had to do IVF. (over here you get one cycle on the NHS for free, but to get it for free you have to be under a certain weight) I have lost 15lb in 7 weeks only another 125lb to go.

I have changed the way I eat. I no longer eat white bread/rice/pasta. I've cut out coke from my diet and I loved that drink. I am also walking alot more.

I never thought it would be so hard. I never thought I'd have to be one of those women who needed medical assistance to get pregnant.