[Oriyan]

We are having some serious sleep issues. This all started when John figured out that he can stand in his crib too.

DH and I are exhausted -- We need some advise from BTDT's.

Currently, John is in a routine. He gets dinner, he gets to play a little (if its not rubbing his eyes), then he gets a bath, we read a book (if he is not tired or else he just screams), he gets a bottle and by the end of the bottle he is drowsy so he goes down in the crib and either:

a) Falls asleep

b) Decides to stand up in his crib and cry

If B happens, we usually just lay him down and shush him and he eventually is ok and goes to sleep. Sometimes this can take 20-30 minutes. We do not take him out of his crib unless this has been going on for longer then an hour (Which maybe once a month it does when he is super overly tired.)

Lately, he has been waking FREQUENTLY. He wakes up, stands up and cries until we come and lay him back down to sleep. Sometimes even when we do that he just still cries and nothing can console him unless he gets cuddled (Which we try not to do, we try to leave him in his crib) but even then he rather stay awake for an hour and stare at us wide eyed and awake. He is in no way hungry. He gets 4-8oz at 7pm and then another 8oz at 10pm. (He is up at 5am for a bottle too which I want to do desperately move to 7am) Usually by 1am the every 45 minutes-90 minute awakenings happen. Yes, he is in his own room, in his own crib. He is up for the day around 6-7am.

It does not matter if he gets tylenol or teething tablets before bed/during the night -- this still happens so I don't think its teething pain. I know at this age they are smart and know that they rather play with us then sleep, but it leaves all 3 of us tired and grumpy when this happens. I have been so tired, I have had to resort to coffee to stay awake, and I am allergic to coffee.

I'll take any advise or comments. (We practice controlled CIO -- we go in after 3 minutes or so and console, but never just ignore him) I just miss being able to sleep from 10pm-5am without interruption.

[ShannonMVT]

That sounds really rough. Is he able to lay himself back down after he stands up in his crib or is he "stuck" and needs you to lay him back down? If he gets stuck then that makes it harder and things may suck until he learns how to get back down on his own.

I thought I would never do full on CIO where I'd leave and just not go back in but that's what it came to in our case. Going in every 5 minutes or so just made Matthew more upset that we were going in but not picking him up (or even if we'd pick him up, half the time he was pissed at us because he wasn't getting to nurse).

[**jessie**]

I'm not sure because I don't have a standing baby yet. But maybe try not going in there. Perhaps just that little bit interaction stimulates him enough to not go back to sleep. I was going to do the controlled CIO at 6 months, but I was really sick one night and I just did not go in there (he was only waking once per night for a bottle at that point). He literally fussed for 10 minutes and then fell asleep for the rest of the night. Ever since then he has STTN 7:30-6:45. Probably coincidence but hey, I'm happy.

[Oriyan]

He does know how to sit himself down Shan. He can sit and stand and stand and sit.

He is a mommas boy and really just wants to snuggle to sleep but then he just wants to snuggle all night.

DH will be gone for 5 nights, I am almost thinking of cosleeping for 5 nights so i can get some rest.

[Frozendesire]

Just a warning but the co sleeping may make it worse when you go to try putting him back in his crib after the 5 days. That's been our experience but of course all kids are different!

I hope you can find a solution We are still having sleep struggles with Dustin and it's really really hard. Gotta stop it when you can! We really need to do a CIO of some sort but our living situation doesn't work for that right now. Anyways!!! lol. I hope you are all getting lots of sleep soon!! (just don't tell me about it haha)

[IamMom]

Sam I'm a proponent of CIO and both of my kids took to it really well and quickly...neither cried for very long and quickly understood that I left them in theirs beds to get some good sleep and now both are great sleepers...7:30 pm to at least 6:30 am - usually longer....usually 12 hours per night both of them...my world is heavenly. I did graduated extinction with Harrison and it worked...with Nora I had to do more of a complete extinction because she got worked up with me coming in....so I just left her to cry and fuss ...she never went longer than 20 minutes or so of me not going in at all so I had it easy I guess. But it gets results FAST. As long as he's not a climber or puker it should work...if he does either of those things I will just say prayers for you b/c I have no advice

Good luck - keep us posted!

[ANGWife]

Originally Posted by Oriyan

I'll take any advise or comments. (We practice controlled CIO -- we go in after 3 minutes or so and console, but never just ignore him) I just miss being able to sleep from 10pm-5am without interruption.

DON'T GIVE UP!!! You're doing great! We had a TERRIBLE time with these same issues about 3 months back. I know you are exhausted but you really are help him (and you!) It took us almost 2 weeks, lots of C CIO, lots of caffeine for me. But he sleeps great in his crib now. You've got the right idea, don't cuddle him. Henry would freak out, stand in the crib, and wouldn't stop. I just kept going back in (adding a few minutes every time but no more than 10 minutes), saying it's time for bed, lay him down, then walk away. Sure he'd still be crying and stand up almost immediately. But he got the picture that I was no abandoning him.

You can do it! Don't give in a co-sleep (unless you want to instead of the crib). But Steph is right, it will be harder!

CIO never worked for Kirsty as she got so upset so fast.

Kirsty went through this exact thing when she learnt to pull herself up to standing. And for us anyway, unfortunately, it was a phase we had to "ride out". Do you speak to him when you go in to lay him down? Try not speaking, not shhhh'ing, no eye contact, nothing. Just go in, lay him down, and leave.

The less attention he gets, the more he will realise it's not worth creating a fuss. Kirsty learnt to stand up, had a cold & was teething all at the same time, a few weeks before Xmas. She wouldn't allow us to leave her room, she'd start screaming as soon as we'd step away from her cot. What I ended up having to do was sit on the floor, by her cot with my head downwards so there was no eye contact. Each time she stood up, I'd lay her down then sit back down on the floor. Say nothing, but stay in the room until she fell asleep.

It took 40mins or so the first night, 2nd night took a lot less, 3rd night took longer, then she began to settle, she'd perhaps stand up once or twice then stay down. Once she got the routine of this staying down thing, I would take one step away from the cot, sit on the floor and stay til she fell asleep - if she stood up, I'd do the same drill of laying her down, sitting back down on my "spot".

The next night, take another step away, etc until you're at the door, then the next night, try laying baby down and leaving. It may take a few nights of being at the door to graduate to being able to leave.

This may work through the night for you - I assume he's happy enough to be laid in his cot at bedtime? Does he cry when you leave? You could try any technique tbh, adapt it as you feel it appropriate for you and JJ and what you feel comfortable doing. Sorry this was long-winded, I recall how I felt at my wits end and desperate to get a decent sleep. Our turning point came when I went to visit my parents the week before Xmas, just as suddenly as the whole crying/waking started, it stopped, she just started sleeping through. I know it's hard, but try to keep in your mind that it is a phase and it will pass. You might have to help him to get through it, but it will pass.

[Mars]

I'm no help and could never bring myself to do the CIO so I just stuck it out like a zombie. I have heard of a lot of ladies who had success with a variety of methods and I hope one of their suggestions work. When Amara work up, if she was doing so quite a bit, I would bring her to our bed as she slept better there. I guess this could potentially lead to other problems but it didn't create any for me.

[ShannonMVT]

I also wanted to throw out there that if you do decide to do CIO, then I would do it while your Dh is still around. I think it would be too stressful if you try to do it while he's gone. As far as co sleeping, I think it might make things worse when you try to get him to sleep in his crib again later, but on the other hand you do what you have to in order to survive.

[Oriyan]

Yeah we tried CIO tonight -- Totally did not work. We had a screaming baby. We'd go in every 5 minutes and lay him back down and he'd scream louder and louder. If we did not go in, he'd work himself up to cough-crying and gasping for air. By 8:45 (this all started at 7:40) he was finally asleep. I laid him down and gave him my hand and he fell asleep in 5 minutes or so.

*sigh*

I really do enjoy my little snuggle bunny.... just not when I am barely sleeping. Neither is DH. We realized its the lack of sleep that makes us snap at each other. For quite a while he was sleeping really well! Through the night! (Well from like 7:30p-1a, then he'd cry for a diaper, go right back to sleep and then wake up at 5a for a bottle and sleep till 7:30a or so.)

*sigh*

I really hope I don't lose it while DH is away. .....

[Frozendesire]

Hmmm... maybe it's just a phase? Growth spurt where he needs comfort??

Boy, wish I could help you more hun. I really do know how your feeling!

[Chelnae6]

For Miki she was never hard to put to sleep but having my hand on her back calmed her down almost immediately.

[IamMom]

This may sound terrible Sam but the experts on CIO say that even the coughing/gasping isn't the kids really being in serious danger and unless they are actually vomiting you should let them work this out themselves....my kids never got to that point so I never had to feel bad letting them work thru that but I probably would have...I was determined to get them sleeping on their own...I truly believe that at a certain age (def by JJ's age) they need to be sleeping all thru the night uninterrputed....so I would have done anything as long as it wasn't physically putting my children in danger. The books explain this better and it doesn't sound so horrid! sigh*

Also, about him needing or wanting a diaper change, what does he wear at night?
Nora wears Huggies overnights diapers so that she doesn't soak thru or get uncomfie and need a change...ever tried those? And she went thru a few days where she tried to get up at 5 or so for a bottle and I have a strict 6:30 policy in my house....she quickly learned that was far too early for her baba...and now sleeps until 6:30 at the earliest. Now when I give her a bottle in the morning she sometimes doesn't even want to finish it...she'd rather explore and play....so hopefully JJ will bump past this since he's just slightly younger than Nora!

[midnight_starr]

I hope his sleep gets better soon!!

Can I just add to say that it's not uncommon to take a while for baby to settle on those first few nights. I'm sure I read anything between 45 & 90 minutes is normal. If you think about it, you're changing what he is used to so yeah he's gonna be real mad and annoyed. Just keep doing the same thing (whatever you choice of method is) each time.

Sam, just remember JJ is your baby and as long as you, DH & JJ are happy with the method you choose to use, that is what counts. Everyone has different views on what is a "nice" method to use and what is not right for them as a family. You can adapt any method you wish to suit your family as well. We adapted Controlled Crying for Kirsty when she was about 5.5ish months.

Try again tonight with your chosen method. Try not to dismiss a technique after trying one night, because it will take a few tries with a method for JJ to understand, "ok this is the way we do things now".



Babies are clever, through the day Kirsty naps in her pushchair, she sleeps longer in it and more soundly, it lays flat so I have no worries about her napping in it. That's my choice, and I'm happy with it, she gets rest. However, when she is with me I have to jiggle the buggy & hum music to her... when she's at MILs house, MIL puts her in the buggy, puts the buggy through to a bedroom, comes out, closes the door & leaves her to fall asleep... no jiggling, no music... and Kirsty just goes to sleep!! Lil monkey!! They're definately clever little beings