[*krista*]

This might get long... but I really appreciate any feedback!

I'll start with the questions.

Have I likely hit the high point of discomfort? Do you get bigger at this point?

Do you think I can still get stretch marks? All I have now is a little "X" over my old belly button piercing, which I have had for a couple of months now, so I think it is just the piercing.

You know that stinging pain you get when the baby kicks (or in my case stretches her head into) your cervix? Is that what it feels like as the baby decends down through the cervix except obviously much more intense? If so, that would suck.

Does bigger belly = bigger baby? I saw a woman at work that is only about a week behind me and her belly was a lot smaller than mine.

I think that's all the questions but I just know I'm missing something. Now for the concerns/fears.

I think I'm pretty much mentally prepared for giving birth. I still have my freakout moments, but for the most part I'm okay in that department. What I'm really scared about is the huge change that is coming in our lives. I didn't ever think I would think twice about this, but I'm frantically trying to get as much time in with DH as I can. I think I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm going back to work after baby is born (which wasn't part of the plan initially) and I fear we will have no time for ANYTHING, especially each other. I feel like a bad mom because I'm not super anxious to have the baby because of my selfish want to spend more time with DH. Did anyone else feel this way? I hope it doesn't keep me from bonding with baby. I'm still scared I will have bonding issues. Aren't I supposed to be focused on my excitement to meet baby and fears of being a good mom? I'm not really experiencing that. I'm too focused on how this is going to effect me. There's gotta be something wrong with that.

[Frozendesire]

Have I likely hit the high point of discomfort? Do you get bigger at this point? Yup you'll still get bigger, baby is still growing and you'll do some shifting of weight as well.

Do you think I can still get stretch marks? Yup it's possible that you could. But you may not. I got the most of my stretch marks a week or so before my due date and then got a TON of them in the 12 days I went over due.

You know that stinging pain you get when the baby kicks (or in my case stretches her head into) your cervix? Is that what it feels like as the baby decends down through the cervix except obviously much more intense? Um. I didn't really feel that happening.. I mostly felt the contractions, and then the heavy heavy pressure of the head. When baby drops into position it's again more of a pressure then a stinging pain. Hope that makes sense.

Does bigger belly = bigger baby? Nope. Not at all. It just means you are carrying baby differently that's all.

[szczepanski]

Bigger belly doesn't mean bigger baby! I was HUUUUUUUUUUGGGEEEEEE (Nikki saw me at about 38 weeksish and can vouch for how ginormous my belly was) and Nolan was completely normal sized even at 5 days late. I can post a picture if you want!!!I was BIG!

Do you know if your mom got stretch marks? Because they are hereditary so you could get more or you could not. And some might not show up until your belly starts shrinking back down post delivery.

I don't know about the stinging pain...you could be getting head butted in the cervix or punched in the cervix, that definitely hurts. I never really felt anything like that even in labor because my bag of waters kept him from fully descending - once my water broke I was fighting the urge to push.

I think we all cope with becoming a mom for the first time differently. You never know how you will really feel until your little one is here....try not to worry about it and focus on spending time with your hubby.

[Oriyan]

Have I likely hit the high point of discomfort?
- It gets worse -- you pee even more and sleep even less as each week passes.

Do you get bigger at this point?
- I grew the most between 32-39 weeks.

Do you think I can still get stretch marks? All I have now is a little "X" over my old belly button piercing, which I have had for a couple of months now, so I think it is just the piercing.
- I did not get my stretch marks until the last 2 weeks.

You know that stinging pain you get when the baby kicks (or in my case stretches her head into) your cervix? Is that what it feels like as the baby decends down through the cervix except obviously much more intense? If so, that would suck.
- No, it feels like pressure like somethings gonna come down -- pardon this visual, but its like pooping out your vagina basically.

Does bigger belly = bigger baby? I saw a woman at work that is only about a week behind me and her belly was a lot smaller than mine.
- Not always. People thought I was gonna have a 10 pounder and he was almost 8. Bigger bellies can mean tall babies though!

[freesiangel]

I had no stretch marks at all until I was almost 41 weeks! I thought I wasn't going to get any, but then WHAM! I also kind of freaked out my last two weeks and ate everything in sight, whereas I'd been a good girl before that, so maybe I just ate too much. lol.

I got those same sharp pains in my cervix while pregnant and honestly, I can't remember having anything like that while in labor or while delivering. Not that I wasn't feeling stuff, I just don't think I was focused on it like when I was pregnant. I was kind of busy. lol.

[ShannonMVT]

I would say when baby is descending down it just feels like this horribly intense pressure of NEEDING to push. That said, I think some women don't get the intense urge to push but I did.

In a lot of ways I was still happy to wait for baby to come. I was happy to spend more time with Dh, we had a wonderful relaxing weekend a few days before Matthew arrived and I really enjoyed it. I actually freaked out when my water broke for an hour or two because I just didn't feel ready. But once she gets here you are going to be so in love and you are going to be in awe seeing your Dh transform into a daddy and it will all be okay. You'll still find ways to get some time together especially as she gets a bit older.

There's nothing wrong with being concerned about how this is goign to affect you and also your relationship with Dh. I think that's wise in a lot of ways, b/c you aren't naively thinking that everything is going to stay the same!

[Chelnae6]

Have I likely hit the high point of discomfort? Do you get bigger at this point? During my last few weeks I got slightly bigger to the point where my maternity shirts were getting shorter but I had a small belly and my belly was still slightly small and round when I delivered, I just think it rounded out more.

Do you think I can still get stretch marks? All I have now is a little "X" over my old belly button piercing, which I have had for a couple of months now, so I think it is just the piercing. I never got stretch marks until........ after I had Lani, no I have a small amount of stretch marks around my belly button that I'm sure will probably go away once I start back working out

You know that stinging pain you get when the baby kicks (or in my case stretches her head into) your cervix? Is that what it feels like as the baby decends down through the cervix except obviously much more intense? If so, that would suck. Her head into my cervix is what caused me back labor, so I cant help you there as she had a big dome and was sunny side up

Does bigger belly = bigger baby? I saw a woman at work that is only about a week behind me and her belly was a lot smaller than mine. I'm not sure, I was small and had a small baby. I saw another girl who was HUUGGGEEEEE and had an almost 10 pounder.

The first few weeks of Lani's life, she sleeps A LOT!!! A WHOLE LOT!!! Except sometimes between the hours of 1am and 430am... the most inopportune time!!! I still have time to chill and relax and pump and get online and all.

FYI something nobody else told me... after you give birth... EVERYTHING down there HURTS and your muscles down there are used for more things than you could ever imagine. Walking, laughing, sitting, driving, etc. So when the doc tells you to nap and rest for 2 weeks, DO IT!! And make sure you get Sitz Bath equipment and tucks pads for your stitches (I hope you dont have any)

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

I hate just saying negative stuff But yes you might get more uncomfortable, you will get bigger and you could get stretch marks. But you might not!!! Your not selfish at all its completely understandable!!! (((hugs))) I have more to say but i am typinf with a giant toddler on my boob lol! so i'll be back!

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

I didn't really get stretchmarks until the last few days, and then most of them came after she was born. But I always knew I'd be prone to stretchies since I got them as a teenager too. My stomach is pretty horrifying now though.

In the days and weeks leading up to my birthing time I was not super anxious to meet my baby. I could have stayed pregnant months longer. Don't worry, its not any indicator of how much you'll love your little one. And also, if you don't feel some huge surge of love at the very beginning, you aren't alone... lots of great moms take a bit to fall in love with their baby. I loved Lily, but the first few days I kept thinking she wasn't mine and someone was going to come and take her away any day. I know lots of women who felt the same.

And also, baby will sleep a TON in the first couple weeks -- like you'll want to wake them up to eat probably... so you'll get lots of time with DH to hang out and snuggle a perfect sleeping little baby. If you're worried about it, then you're conscious of it, and you two will make time for eachother and it'll be okay. This is a huge life change... it makes sense for you to be worried about it! It'll all be a great change though

[Frozendesire]

Shannon, do you remember seeing my tummy during and after?? All my stretchies? Did it prepare you at all hahaha

Oh and to add to my post (i was shooing off Dustin the whole time cause he REALLY wanted to type lol so i cut it short), When Curtis came along I felt I grew closer to James... I was worried about what it would do to our relationship as well. We'd been just us for years and so comfy and used to that... but we for sure grew closer... we might not have had the same alone time but we still felt close and enjoyed Curtis with us. If your aware of your need to be close to hubby, you'll work on that too and that's TOTALLY normal to "freak" over. For sure

[soImarriedAnerd]

Have I likely hit the high point of discomfort? Do you get bigger at this point? You never stop growing.

Do you think I can still get stretch marks? All I have now is a little "X" over my old belly button piercing, which I have had for a couple of months now, so I think it is just the piercing. Yes you CAN just wake up with them one day.

You know that stinging pain you get when the baby kicks (or in my case stretches her head into) your cervix? Is that what it feels like as the baby decends down through the cervix except obviously much more intense? If so, that would suck. It wasn't for me.

Does bigger belly = bigger baby? I saw a woman at work that is only about a week behind me and her belly was a lot smaller than mine. NO


I think I'm pretty much mentally prepared for giving birth. I still have my freakout moments, but for the most part I'm okay in that department. What I'm really scared about is the huge change that is coming in our lives. I didn't ever think I would think twice about this, but I'm frantically trying to get as much time in with DH as I can. I think I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm going back to work after baby is born (which wasn't part of the plan initially) and I fear we will have no time for ANYTHING, especially each other. I feel like a bad mom because I'm not super anxious to have the baby because of my selfish want to spend more time with DH. Did anyone else feel this way? I hope it doesn't keep me from bonding with baby. I'm still scared I will have bonding issues. Aren't I supposed to be focused on my excitement to meet baby and fears of being a good mom? I'm not really experiencing that. I'm too focused on how this is going to effect me. There's gotta be something wrong with that.[/quote]
If you weren't freaking out a little or having fears of being a good mom I would be more worried Everything your said I could have said (and MANY other girls I know also!).

[ShannonMVT]

Originally Posted by LadyCoconut

And also, baby will sleep a TON in the first couple weeks -- like you'll want to wake them up to eat probably...

Umm...Matthew begs to differ! I think I read something scientific once that boy babies are hungrier and needier than girl babies, so don't worry Krista, you're still good!

[Frozendesire]

I want a girl.

hahaa

[~*Bethy*~]

Not always!! Sure Ian ate more, but morgans colic was from hell...I wouldn't wish a colicky baby on anyone!!

[Trannyfromtheuk]

Have I likely hit the high point of discomfort? Do you get bigger at this point?The baby will continue to get bigger, but as everyone is diffrent we cant really say how much bigger you will get.

Do you think I can still get stretch marks? All I have now is a little "X" over my old belly button piercing, which I have had for a couple of months now, so I think it is just the piercing. Birthmarks can just 'pop' up or you could be super lucky and totaly avoid them completely. its another one of them every mamma is diffrent things.

You know that stinging pain you get when the baby kicks (or in my case stretches her head into) your cervix? Is that what it feels like as the baby decends down through the cervix except obviously much more intense? For me; It felt like she was pushing down when I walked and that hurt. It was a weird to explane feeling

Does bigger belly = bigger baby? I saw a woman at work that is only about a week behind me and her belly was a lot smaller than mine. Not at all. I was HUGE.... I looked like I was carrying multipuls. I was big due to having loads of amnitoic fluid around my baby...Mia was 8lb8oz at 2wks over due

Being pregnant is the most life changing thing in the world. Nothing will be the same as it was before but you will weonder how your life was before baby within a few weeks.. Its like they was never not there.
Your time with DH may be diffrent but if you make the effort when baby is sleeping im sure everything would be ok.

[Mars]

I don't there's much more I can add that wasn't said already. I think you and your DH will make great parents and despite having to go back to work, you will still have time for baby and yourself. It may be harder initially but as time goes on, you will learn how to squeeze in the time. Just be patient with each other in the months to come. There will be some major adjustments but it will work out.

I can't add anything else except, when you're in labour, time doesn't seem to be a factor in your head, you just take each pain as it comes, then try to relax until the next one, remembering each pain is a step closer to the end of labour and seeing baby. It's normal to have the fears of what about DH & I... husband and wife and not just mummy & daddy. I still have that, and I get days where I just would like to be "Fiona" for 5mins and not mummy. It doesn't mean we love our baby any less, it just means we are human and we have our own needs just like the baby does.

p.s. I was absolutely terrified of the prospect of labour... see from approx 30-28wks of my pregnancy, if I heard news of a baby being born & their weight, I'd literally burst into tears. We had a visit tour around labour ward when I was very close to my EDD and I was sobbing my heart out as we left the hospital (it was part of my parent classes). I was mortified, the MW who showed us around asked if I was ok, I couldn't talk to her. It just made it seem so real that in the next few weeks I would be in there in pain, having a BABY!!!

As my contractions started, I had no fears, and hand on my heart, my labour wasn't as bad as I'd expected. My labour was quite short for a first timer (first contrax at 3:10am Wed morning, Kirsty was born 7:27pm Wed evening). I was very lucky. But it honestly wasn't as bad as I'd thought it would be. I went into it with a very open mind, I didn't really have a birth plan except to take each pain one at a time, and if I needed pain relief I'd follow the MWs advice. I managed with gas & air and diamorphine (pethadine?!).

Sorry I waffled, I just understand and remember all the fears. It's all about taking the time as a family of 3 to adapt and get to know each other. You will be completely in awe of this tiny being that you and DH made together, it really wuill bring a special bond between you & DH.

[*krista*]

You ladies are awesome.

Thanks for sharing all of your experiences. It really helps. Especially on the "fears and concerns" part. I asked DH if he had any fears last night... he just said they all have to do with protecting her! Typical guy answer I guess. It is good to know that many of you experienced the same thing. I suppose it is natural to fear such a huge change. It is just weird because we tried so hard to get here so I never thought I would wrestle with these kinds of fears! I would have had a hard time believing it if you told me while I was ttc that this is how I would be feeling right now.

Don't get me wrong, I want to meet my little one, and I have my moments when I can't wait, but for the most part I feel I can and want to wait. I guess that is the beauty of pregnancy -- you get so miserable at the end you are willing and anxious to go through any amount of pain to get it over with!

Anyway, what the heck is up with stretchmarks coming AFTER the baby is born??! I just don't get the physics of that.

[~* Helen *~]

I can't say anything different to what anyone else has !!!

Krista, you will have moments once bubbs is here when you think to yourself "What the F have I done having this baby?", I had a few of those moments afterwards when the night feeds, tiredness, colic, etc were at their worst. It's very normal.

I only got stretch marks after Kirsty was born but they have faded a bit now. TBH they don't bother me, I see them as traits of growing my perfect lil girl plus I'm not slim enough to have my tummy on show so no one sees them except DH & I!