[*kyle*]

So today I heard those four words that no woman ever wants to hear... "Are you pregnant again?" Yes that's right folks, one of my school's maintenance men asked me this today while blatantly staring at my tummy. One of my other coworkers (another male) was there and heard it, and while he was sufficiently aghast at the lack of tact of the other guy, the best he could offer me in the way of reassurance was... "Well it's only been a few months since you gave birth, right?" When I said seven, he kinda hesitated and then said something about how celebrities only look that way after having kids because they work out all day and yada yada. So I felt pretty crappy, and called my mom for some support, and what did she have to say you ask? Well she gave me some great advice... "Sit ups might help." Ok, thanks a lot for those kind and supportive words, mom. I got home and told my sister about it, my sister who's struggled with weight her entire life, and thought I'd finally get someone to help me feel better about my body. But instead she blatantly told me "Well you do look about three months pregnant still."

Here's the crapper: I am almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But I have this round tummy now whereas it used to be flat. I was SO HUGE at the end of my pregnancy that it just wrecked my muscles. Plus I haven't lost all of the deflated look either. I don't really know if that will go away without like a tummy tuck (which I would never do). I guess I should work out to try and strengthen those stomach muscles back up, but I hardly have time to sleep, and that's the honest truth. I'm a single parent with a full time job now. I don't even know when I'd fit that in. I've tried bringing Dominic into the fitness center with me but it didn't work out, I just got a lot of weird looks and he got fussy in his carseat after about 5 minutes.

What ticks me off the most is why is it anyone else's business what my body looks like? Why would this random man think it was ok to ask me this? And why can't anyone in my life just feed me a line of BS to make me feel better? Does everyone think I have no feelings? Or is my post-partum tummy just so disturbing to everyone that they think they need to intervene?

As you all can tell, I'm feeling pretty crappy right now.

[Bre*n*Will=Reid]

Oh man, Kyle, that's crappy! I think we all have that "3 month preggo" look sometimes after we have a kid...you just can't hold it in as easily! I'm sure you don't look pregnant at all and the guy is just a moron.

[~Caroline~]

I'm so sorry people were so insensitive! I can't believe anyone would say things like that!

[bittersweet]

OMG Kyle, I cannot believe he said that! And then everyone else was so unsupportive as well. That is exactly how my mom is too. But then again she told me at 8 that I looked pregnant and need to do some sit-ups...so I don't expect much from her.

In every picture I've seen of you, you look great. It takes time to undo the havic pregnancy can take on our bodies. And no two women are the same. I just recently got out of maternity clothes. I'm at my pre-preg weight, but my stomach is no where near what it used to be. And it probably won't ever be. But I'm eating healthy and doing my best to exercise and with time it will improve.

Just look at that beautiful boy you made and carried for 9 months every time some jacka** makes a stupid comment like that. Know you are certainly not the only mom who feels like poo about her new body....and that has family that doesn't help matters either.

Also thought I'd add, I've been doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred DVD. The workout is only 20 minutes so I usually do it after she goes to bed at night. I just started so I can't say if it has helped much yet...but it is hard and I'm sore.

[Kiwi]

Oh honey, I'm so sorry! Isn't it wonderful when family are 'blatantly honest' rather than trying to make you feel better. It sounds like your mother has exactly the same amount of tact as mine - whenever I see her, she goes on and on about how much weight I've 'already' put in, then proceeds to point out all the places I'm getting bigger. Thanks Mother, like I wasn't already feeling insecure about it already...!

The fact you are almost back at your pre-pregnancy weight only 7 months after the birth is fantastic! You are absolutely gorgeous, Kyle - inside and out. Don't let those comments get you down.

[SandKmommy]

I get it alot, people asking me how I'm handeling an infant(everyone thinks Kieran is no more then 8mo old) and a 4yr old and being pregnant all my weight(I'm almost 100lbs over weight now due to my problems that I've been having) is in my belly making it round. I know how rude people can be and I dont understand why they don't keep their mouths and eyes shut!

I suggest this site though, its nice to see that its "normal" to not look like a super model after having baby (warning there are naked female pictures)

The Shape of a Mother

[Frozendesire]

I'm so sorry that's just aweful. I can't believe how everyone had such aweful things to say!

The tummy muscles just get so wrecked....it takes alot of work to undo it, if it even works.

I swear by shape of a mother. That site has helped me feel great at times when I needed a dose of reality, after all those images of celebs are pushed at me.

[Oriyan]

Ok first off -- Men are pigs. Plain and simple. They think that because we arenot pregnant and have not been in some time, that our bodies just bounce back to what they looked like before.

Sorry, but we don't have 2k to drop on personal training 6 days a week as soon as our kid comes out. I swear, those celebrities are like "Ok kids out, here ya go nanny I gotta go work out now and lose the weight!" That is just not how REAL women live. Plus I am sure they have secret tummy tucks and boob lifts.

Secondly, keep in mind -- no women really goes back to her pre-pregnancy self. I am 2 pounds from pre-preggo weight -- and my shirts don't fit the same (even though my boobs are still a 36B), my pants don't fit the same (still an 8, can't really fit into my junior size 9's I wore before pregnancy), and I have a blubber belly which is driving me insane. I pretty much eat almost ZERO carbs so I can keep losing the weight, but its not coming off in my belly.

You are a REAL women. You are a single mom, who works full time. The fact that after 7 months you are almost your pre preggo weight is amazing! At 11 months, I am JUST about there.

So ignore pig men. You are beautiful :-)

[Babybear4]

Some people just have no tact at all. I learned at a young age to never ask a woman if she is pregnant, and to never comment on people's looks. I think it should just be common sense for adults.

I haven't seen any pictures of your body, but I can tell by the pictures in your signature that you are a beautiful woman. You are a single mother doing the best you can and it is nobody's place to comment on your body. I know how insecure I feel about my body after baby, and I can't even imagine if somebody made a comment like that to me.

BIG HUGE HUGS! Keep your head up and don't let what anybody says get to you. You know who you are on the inside, so nothing else matters.

[midnight_starr]

All those people can suck it!! You look FAB!!!! Honestly some people just need to keep their mouths shut!!!

[fromGirltoMommy]

If I get the pw from a host I will share a pic of my bare belly. You WILL feel 100000% better about yourself. My stomache will NEVER be the same NEVER. Not unless I DO have a tummy tuck which like you I would NEVER in a million years ever do. Its flabby, and honestly it looks the best when I push all my fat out. I was so bigg at the end with Kennedi that she MURDERED my beautiful stomache I cant even imagine what my body will look like after baby #2

[Resi]

Well.. I saw you last month and you did not look pregnant to me at all! I thought you looked great.

Although I lost all my pregnancy weight and some extra my tummy can still look pregnant at times. I have that flat tire look from having a c/s. It's never going to be

[Resi]

Well.. I saw you last month and you did not look pregnant to me at all! I thought you looked great.

Although I lost all my pregnancy weight and some extra my tummy can still look pregnant at times. I have that flat tire look from having a c/s. It's never going to be like

Well.. I saw you last month and you did not look pregnant to me at all! I thought you looked great.

Although I lost all my pregnancy weight and some extra my tummy can still look pregnant at times. I have that flat tire look from having a c/s. It's never going to be like before

Well.. I saw you last month and you did not look pregnant to me at all! I thought you looked great.

Although I lost all my pregnancy weight and some extra my tummy can still look pregnant at times. I have that flat tire look from having a c/s. It's never going to be like before,

Well.. I saw you last month and you did not look pregnant to me at all! I thought you looked great.

Although I lost all my pregnancy weight and some extra my tummy can still look pregnant at times. I have that flat tire look from having a c/s. It's never going to be like before.

Well.. I saw you last month and you did not look pregnant to me at all! I thought you looked great.

Although I lost all my pregnancy weight and some extra my tummy can still look pregnant at times. I have that flat tire look from having a c/s. It's never going to be like before.

[Frozendesire]

Mine didn't get much worse with Dustin... I think the damage was already done with Curtis haha

I'd post tummy pics too if others do...

[.Brandi.]

Kyle, you're an amazing woman and you're incredibly beautiful!!!! I have yet to get to my pre preggo size after either of the boys. After I had Preston, I weight 160 lbs for so long and I was breastfeeding!!!! I got very discouraged because I alway heard that breastfeeding is supposed to help with post partum weight loss! Before I got pregnant with this baby, I weighed 145 lbs. I've only gained 6 lbs this whole pregnancy! And I'm sure by the end of it, I'll probably weigh a good 180 lbs!!! Like Sam said, don't listen to those pig men!!! They're jerks!!!

[**Jenn**]

Ignore them Kyle, men are stupid and have no idea what they are talking about! You are gorgeous! You don't even want to see what my belly looks like and the oodles of stretch marks are a drop in the bucket compared to the package deal. My stomach will never be the flat tummy it was before kids unless I get a tummy tuck, which I will never do either. The skin has been stretched to its breaking point (literally) 3 times now so I have excess skin that just hangs. There's nothing that can be done about it. I'm about 10lbs away from my weight before ever having kids and let me tell you, my tummy looks like I'm light years away from what it looked like before.

Try not to let ignorant comments bother you, not from strangers and not from family. I know, easier said than done. I was anorexic for 5 years (from age 15-20) so saying I have body issues is an understatement. But you have to keep in mind that your body is beautiful because it nourished your baby, kept him safe, kept him healthy, grew him, and continues to nourish and grow him through you breastfeeding him. THAT is something to be proud of, something to cherish, something to brag about. We women are the lucky ones because we get to do all these things. Men only wish their bodies were so important.

[~Jess~]

Well, I had my baby 2 years ago and my co-teacher just asked me about a month ago if I was pregnant again. I had been sick for a week and hadn't worked out during that time, and unfortunately, if I don't do my pilates every day, I bloat up within a couple of days, disgusting but true. My stomach is SHOT...it will NEVER look like it did pre-pregnancy. I don't even get offended anymore. I own a mirror, I know what my stomach looks like, lol....

[Mars]

Ditto Resi, except I didn't see you last month.

Some people just don't know when to shut it and boo to your mom and sis for not being supportive. Most bodies don't just spring back without surgical help. I would say to them, "I have a baby and I'm taking the time to let my body readjust NATURALLY". To say this, I don't mean that we are never going to exercise or eat healthy, etc. I just mean that we're not about to hit up a gym 3 times a day, get surgery or starve ourselves.

Anyway, from the pics I've seen, you look fantastic!

[ShannonMVT]

I'm sorry people are being so insensitive! I agree even if they think your tummy looks big they could have said something to make you feel better!

You are a mom now and mommys have new priorities. I don't think your top priority is getting a flat tummy (which may be impossible to do post baby anyway) but taking care of your little guy.

I'm sorry their comments are getting to you.

[*krista*]

That's just awful! I'm sorry they were all so insensitive. I haven't seen a pic of you in a while so I have no idea what you look like now, but you're right, it's no one's business but your own.

There's nothing like pregnancy that screws with our self image. I have the same problem... I'm almost back down to my pre-pregnancy weight but my belly still pooches. I've found that I really had to re-evaluate my idea of beauty. Motherhood is a beautiful thing I think, stretch marks and poochy belly included. It is hard to remember that in the culture we live in. You are beautiful Kyle, don't let mindless comments get to your head!