[~*sierra*~]

for your baby...what do you do? It came up in conversation that i dont plan to give my baby a soother and my MIL was all OH SURE! WE'LL SEE HOW LONG THAT LASTS! gawd how rude. then she rolled her eyes and very obviously muttered to my SIL about how i was crazy. i dont even know what to say when people are so obviously dismissive of different ways of doing things. makes me so irritated too cuz i feel like if i ever left my baby with her that she would do things to it that i dont want her to, kwim? my MIL's soother use has always been to excess, like she wouldnt touch the baby for the longest time unless she had a soother in one hand (i'm not exaggerating) and instead of figuring out why the baby was crying about she would just mash the soother into his mouth and i dont want that ever happening to my baby. also she gives the soother for no reason, which for some reason also bothers me.

[Oriyan]

It happens but you just have to ignore it and tell the person to respect your decisions. I still get flack about vaccines. (Which now I am DANG glad I waited!) My parents always tell me "Oh he has XYZ are you going to vaccinate NOW?!" and it's like listen, this is OUR decision to wait, you made your decisions with me, and these are my decisions for my son. Respect it. Same thing with baptizing J.J. We decided we would let him decide what religion he wants to be, but we caught flack for that too -- Ohh but your Christian and DH is Catholic you HAVE to baptize. Erm, no I don't.

It'll happen with all your decisions from cloth diapering to discipline to car seats.

I didn't want to use a pacifier with J.J, but it turned out to be the biggest life saver ever. It's the only way he will stop being cranky/sleep/take long car rides. We don't let him use it at day care unless hes taking a nap (we are trying to wean him off it except for sleep/car rides).

[Mjp121212]

ya know you will say things now that you will change your mind about later. I said no paci at all too, then changed my mind when Brayden showed he was just wanting to suck----not for food but for comfort. That's your prerogative and your right. i said no to a lot of things that I later changed my mind on. And i can't stand the people who always walk around with a paci on their lil finger or stick in their own mouth (EEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW) grrrrrr! Generally, I just tell people that last I recalled I made Brayden, I pushed him out, and it was MY choice!

[LaLaRose3]

I am getting so sick of people lately, haha! I have so many "opinionated" people in my family, so I tend to get in a lot of debates about parenting choices. Heck, even the fact that I planned to have a NCB (which I succeeded at, so BOO TO YOU MOM! ) was a huge issue for some people.

I am sorry you have to deal with it- but I find it is sometimes best to just take it all in stride. *HUGS*

[~*Bethy*~]

I agree with everyone above. You just have to stick to your plan and say hey this is how we run things, if you dont like it, then dont throw a fit if we dont let you around the baby without either me or DH right next to you.

On the other hand, like previously stated. Plans change. Idea's that were set in stone prebaby, change. I am a testimony of an entire 10 monthed (well actually 2+ years!) thought out birth plan, change in the blink of an eye. the only thing I have going for me from my birth plan is the fact that I co-sleep and CD. Never say never.

~Beth

[soImarriedAnerd]

Never say-never or always was my first lesson (because people remember that). but try to say "i don't plan to...." That seems to keep those comments a LITTLE better at away.
I said I wouldn't do a paci also--- I did try a couple time when he wailed in the backseat and we couldn't pull over ( i got one in my DDC gift exchange lol)... anyway he didn't take it and I didn't push it and we got along just fine
But usually troy and I think its motivating! LOL Tell me I will not do something and I usually do it!

[JediRach]

You just have to put up with it but also stick to your guns. Maybe you will change your mind and maybe you won't. I always said I wouldn't breast feed and I'm just about to settle in for a pumping session before Harper gets dinner. Maybe you won't change your mind. Do what you feel is best for your family at the time.

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

I keep most things to myself. Or I will vent to someone about how annoying it is the way this stupid person tries to undermine my choices or blah blah and how disrespectful it is, and if I can get that 'vent' out first then they keep their crap to themselves, lol. Or if they comment about it I just tell them "that's your opinion, but this isn't up for discussion. "

[Babybear4]

If people have a problem with something I choose to do with my child I usually just let them know that it's what works for us. That usually gets them to leave me alone about it. I also ditto the never say never. There are a lot of things I would "never" do with my child that I have/will do like CIO. Ultimately, it is your child, your decisions and if people can't respect that, then that's their loss.

[Mars]

Ditto to what was said already. It will never go away.

[**Jenn**]

I agree with everyone else. I don't think there were things I said I would "never" do but there were ways I thought I would parent that have changed since actually having kids. You have to do what works for you and your baby and what works for one doens't always work for the others. We have soothers, the boys hated them, Lila will take one here or there but mostly just likes to chew on it (which is fine with me since she doesn't have teeth yet). I like to have it around because she can hold it (we have wubbanubs) and its hard for her to "lose." I just went through something similar with my Mom last weekend. She said something about giving Lila ice cream. I told her no and that she was getting no solids til at least 6 months and honestly ice cream is not at the top of the list of things I want to give her. She said when we go on vacation since she'll be almost 6 months then she'll give her things. I told her no, she has to be AT LEAST 6 months old and I don't want her having anything on vacation except breastmilk. She told me I'm "taking this natural thing too far." And said that if Ian and I want to go for a walk on the beach and need to leave the kids then she'll just give her some food then. I told her then I guess I just can't trust you to leave my baby with you and we'll take her wherever we go. She recounted but I still don't trust that she won't give her food behind my back. Stand up for what you believe. YOU are the parent and YOU make the rules.

[*krista*]

I got a lot of those "oh we'll see how long that lasts" comments and it made me so mad! It was like people didn't have confidence in my ability to stick to my guns. They were mainly about NCB, BFing, and CDing... CDing and BFing I stuck with, but I did get an epidural. I haven't had a chance for someone to actually do something behind my back that I expressed I didn't want to just yet, but I'm sure it will eventually happen. I'm normally a pretty passive person, but if that happened I think I would say something, especially if it was someone who will be around Charlotte a lot. I wouldn't want that to establish itself as a pattern of behavior.

As far as the paci specifically goes, we delayed giving a paci to Charlotte and once we did give it to her she wasn't that interested. I mean, she will take it, but she isn't all about the paci, you know? I'm not sure if that happens all the time if you delay it, but if you did delay it or didn't give it at all and MIL tried to introduce one, maybe baby would reject her! Haha!

And how rude is your MIL! Ugh!

[ANGWife]

My family still pisses me off with some of these issues.

[Adriana's Mommy]

..

[LaLaRose3]

I say we tell all of them to SUCK IT!

[~*Bethy*~]

Originally Posted by LaLaRose3

I say we tell all of them to SUCK IT!

I concur!

[Alison81]

Some people just don't know how to hold their tongue and keep their opinion to themselves. I'd ignore her, and just say something like, well, that's the plan. For instance, my best friend is getting a new puppy, she is convinced her puppy won't bark when she leaves her alone, won't have any accidents, and will have no problem sleeping all night and not get up to pee. I love my best friend to death, so when she says that, I am like, yeah, you're so good with dogs, I am sure you'll have her trained in no time but you should get a good cleaner and let your neighbors know you have a new puppy if she ends up barking when you leave, just in case. Even if you don't agree, people need to learn to hold their tongues! And as for the comment, a baby does not NEED a soother, if you don't offer one he/she will find another comfort item that will help comfort. I hate snide comments like that, I just go, okay, sounds good.

[~*sierra*~]

oh yeah as far as paci in particular, whatever i'm fine with changing it if it ends up working for us but my point to her was i dont plan to give my baby one, i think what i actually said was 'i dont want to give my baby a soother' ugh i'm sorry i cant even talk about a MIL issue right now ....bad night!

i'm so afraid that my family will do stuff i dont want them to to my baby when im not there!

[Bre*n*Will=Reid]

I sooooo know that feeling - with pregnancy, with baby, with parenting....people can be so dismissive of your opinions and wishes simply because they don't jive with their own. I got the same comments regarding an epi, CDing, breastfeeding....I just wish that I could have received support instread of, "*laugh* Good luck with that *eye roll*"

[Nami]

Ugh, that's how my MIL is! We lived with her after Chris was born for a while so things was so much worse. If I say I don't want him to have something she makes sure to give because she gave her kids and they are "just fine". We are always fighting over things.. and she always makes it seem like we're saying not to do things just to spite her. It's very annoying.

You can very well make it without a paci, Alissa has never had one and she does great without! Though she's a very calm baby that likes to sleep and has no problems getting to sleep. Chris we gave in because he was colic and has sleeping problems.