[JediRach]

I know that I'll probably get some unkind comments about this but I really hate breastfeeding. I still haven't gotten our latch problem figured out at all because I have flat nipple and large breasts, I feel like she's not eating enough, and she's really lazy at the breast and it usually takes me 2 hours just to get her to eat for a good 15 minutes. If I take her away from the breast she cries because she's hungry but once I get her on there she falls asleep, regardless of what position we try. We strip her down, tickle her feet, rub her back, pat her back, wipe her down with a washcloth, change breasts often. Nothing works! My nipples are sore because of the latch issue and now I have a really bad clogged duct which I am scared is just going to get worse. It really really hurts and everything I've done to alleviate it hasn't worked! I'm exhausted and all the websites I've seen about this clogged duct thing says to rest and well I don't really have time for that, by the time I get her to eat, its time to feed her again. And now she has a white spot on the roof of her mouth that I think might be thrush. I just don't know what to do anymore. It makes me angry that I can't figure this stuff out and I need a break but there isn't one in sight. I don't know a single person who has breastfed their kids. Everyone has formula fed and I have no car so I can't really get to meeting. I can't even get to a doctors appointment without Guy being home. I'm ready to give up. I'm thinking of pumping and supplementing with formula. It feels like such a copout that would make the last two weeks completely pointless. I don't know what to do but I feel like its just getting worse and worse.

[greeneyes]

I totally feel you on the large breasts/flat nipples issue. It's almost as if my milk coming in would make my nipples even flatter which made things so hard at first. All the LCs I talked to recommended using a nipple shield but I personally found them to be way more trouble than they were worth and I was constantly getting clogged ducts.

Something my doula gave me that made a HUGE difference was the Lansinoh Latch Assist, it pretty much just pulls out your nipple so it's nice and perky and easier for baby to latch on to. This thing was seriously a life saver for me. I can't remember if Lee found it at CVS or Walgreens but I know you can also get it on Amazon.com. Plus, they are super-cheap!

Lansinoh Latch Assist

Sorry to drop by, Rach, no one would judge you if you pumped & fed her a bottle in order to get a break... or even gave her a bottle of formula. And if anyone DID judge you, they have no right, then have not "walked in your shoes".

Giving birth and the first few weeks/months is one HUGE toll on your body, both physically & emotionally and you need to to recooperate from it. Do that however you can and whatever way you feel comfortable doing so. Harper is your baby, no one else's. BFing is hard. It's hard physically but emotionally draining too. I spent many nights doing through the night feeds in the nursery right up til I weaned Kirsty, BFing, praying she would go back to sleep, crying because I was soooo tired.

Being tired makes BFing that bit harder, it's almost like you dread the next feed and that in itself can affect the latch/milk. It's very difficult to wake a baby to feed. If her weight gain is good, would you consider just letting her sleep until she wakes and then feed her?? I never woke Kirsty to feed her and it hasn't done her any harm. Your breasts may get a bit fuller, so you may have to express in order to relieve them so she can latch (which might bring you past your let-down and therefore to the hindmilk... which is more filling). Just a thought.

[**Jenn**]

I'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time. I've had several clogged ducts and they're awful. Stand in a hot shower and massage the clog, put warm compresses on it and if you pump massage it while you feed the baby/pump. Hopefully the clog will unclog soon doing all that. If you start feeling flu like symptoms and get a fever call your dr. because that is mastitis and you'll need a prescription to treat it. It does sound like she might have thrush. Get yourself some gentian violet for her/you and that should knock it out.

As far as latch issues go can you call a lactation consultant to come to your house? Also you could look up your local LLL and talk to the leader, she could also give great help and maybe even come to you since ou don't have access to a car.

You are doing such a great job! I know you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and just done with it all. Plus not having someone who has been through it to help you out (which is where I really think LLL might help a lot).

Once you get past these latch issues, clogged ducts, and thrush it won't hurt. You just have a lot of things stacked against you right now. I wish I lived near you to come over and try to help! You can do this though, you're doing great!

As far as her staying awake I'm not really sure what else to try. Liam was always super sleepy the first month or so. He had mild jaundice which made him sleepy, does Harper appear jaundiced at all? Also, all my kids eat while they sleep too, of couse that meant they were nursing A LOT and that can be overwhelming itself.

[*krista*]

Oh Rachel I'm so sorry you are having a rough time. It is hard, really hard. I don't think there are many BFing mommies out there that haven't loathed BFing at some point or another, so don't feel bad about not enjoying it now. I know I sure hated it in the beginning. I dreaded each feeding and cried through some of them. I would not have gotten through it at all without the help of the ladies on here and my pump. I took several nursing breaks (a couple of days at a time) and used my pump during those times. I had to slowly ease myself back into nursing, and even then I had to call in an LC, and it is only just now really working out for us. I'm lucky in that Charlotte didn't have too hard of a time going from bottle to breast and back again. She would fuss a little after a break but she would get the hang of it again eventually. I'm just telling you how we got through it, different things work for different people, but maybe it will give you some ideas and let you know that you aren't alone.

I still consider myself a BFing beginner so I'm not going to try to offer up any advice, I might give the wrong advice! But we are really lucky in that we have so many experienced BFing mommies on here to help. I don't know anyone IRL who BFed either, which makes it hard.

Do you think an LC could help? They will come to your house, mine did. I didn't call mine in until 8 weeks, and I definitely wish I had done it sooner rather than later because BFing issues only get harder to fix once they get a little older.

Just remember that BFing does not define how good you are as a mommy or a woman. It is so, so hard, try not to beat yourself up for having a hard time with it. It isn't your fault.

[sara~b]

I'm right with you Rachel! Don't feel bad at all. Ash is getting formula for right now because she absolutely shredded my nipples. The LC said they look like a pitbull went after them! So we're doing 24 hours of formula while I pump on the lowest setting to try to heal my nipples and get my milk to come in. These babies are ferocious!

[ScottishBrit]

Rachel Ive been in your shoes!!! I Truly believe that NO ONE should judge ANYONE on weither they choose to or just can't Breastfeed. I think that you can only understand what your going through when you've been in that situation. I had the worst time BFing! Seriously, I cried NON-STOP!!! For months! I was so hard on my self. I dont have big boob's but have flat nipples. I used a shield pretty much the whole time. She never latched on and even sucked my nipples through the shield many times! Let me tell you that hurt!! My Nipples were SO bruised, cracked, bleeding, etc..I was on everything you can imagine to Increase my supply. 12 Fenu-greek a day, vitamins, I only drank water, Ate the Monster cookies, Lived off of Oatmeal so much I can't go near the stuff now! When I pumped I would be lucky to get 4 Oz's a day. Plus I nursed Cambria for an house every other hour! I was spent! I needed a break but of course didn't get one. It wasn't till she was 3-4 months did it start getting better. DH is so mad that I dont want to BF this time. Im still confused about even wanting to try or not. Did I mention she only gained 6 Oz's in 6 weeks! Yes my Peid ( I have a different one now ) said I was nursing her to much. How is that possible? It wasn't till I started Supplementing with Formula and giving her what I could pump that things lightened up on me. So believe me I feel your pain! Im sorry...You can always text me If you need anything!! Im not too far from you

[SandKmommy]

I know how you feel. I have flat and inverted nipples and I'm a H/I cup side and my areolas are the size of tea plates so my children cannot latch without a nipple shield and for us it was our saving grace.
Kieran was much the same as Harper, and I cried for the first month she was born, I would be balling and yelling in the middle of the night, I shouldn't have but I hoped the yelling would keep her awake and instead it woke everyone else up. We did the same, rubbed her, wet her down with a wet cloth, made her naked.

Question, is Harper loosing weight? If not and shes gaining even a couple oz then you are doing something right.

C-section babies tend (from my experience) to be more sleepy then vaginal birth babies. Kieran was always sleeping her first 1-2months and Seamus was always awake.

I say keep trying what you're doing, try to go to LLL meeting if you can, and if you need to take a break and pump. Also try the lanolin before and after nursing(even with the shield), sore nipples that aren't used to the constant sucking, well suck.

[Oriyan]

I know how you feel. J.J would just never take to the breast and we tried. He never could latch and when he did it was not right or he was being lazy. He wanted his milk fast and he wanted it from a bottle. So I pumped for him for a month before we discovered he could not have my milk.

Feel good in knowing that even if you pump that does not make you a failure. Neither does using formula. Breast feeding is not for everyone. It definitely was not for me or J.J.

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

I'm a little scatterbrained right now so forgive me for my response coming out jumbled.

First off, HUGE HUGS! Breastfeeding is hardest in the beginning for several reasons. First off, in your case, you are recovering from a huge surgery! You need rest and healing time. You are the ONLY one to BF your baby... you can't get help or a break. Even if you gave her a bottle of pumped milk or formula, you still need to pump in order to not miss a feed and decrease your supply. The baby needs to eat every two hours...its rough. I remember looking at my life in 2 hour increments and feeling like it would be that way forever. It doesn't last. The baby and you will learn and get better at BFing, she won't need to eat as often, it does get better.

Are you still taking pain medication from the c-section? That does transfer through breastmilk and will make her sleepier than normal... and newborns are SUPER sleepy anyway. I know what its like to try everything and still not get the baby to wake up to eat and its frustrating. Like I said, it passes, and it gets so much better.

[*krista*]

Ditto to Shannon about just having major surgery. Mommies such as yourself that go through BFing while recovering from surgery are amazing and incredibly strong. I remember thinking my whole body hurt so bad with BFing and recovering from the birth. I regarded it as a mommy's club hazing. I couldn't imagine adding surgery recovery on top of it. You are a strong mommy!!

[~*sierra*~]

sending you some support & luv! you are a great mum!!

[Alison81]

As Kate mentined, the latch assist is GREAT! That's what helped me with my issues with Elsa. I also have flat nipples and breastfeeding was completely miserable the first month, but after that it got easier. With Kylie, I had no problems, so I am hope that gives you hope for when you have a second. The struggle was worth it with Elsa because after we got over the hurdle breastfeeding was so easy. I wish I hadn't had supply issues going back to work with Kylie because I loath cleaning and washing so many bottles!

It's not easy so don't be hard on yourself, you are FAR from the first mom to have issues in the beginning with breastfeeding.

[ShannonMVT]

I think A LOT of moms hate BFing at first. I sure did. It is hard! The pain sucks and trying to get them to eat if they are sleepy sucks, if they want to nurse allll the time (was my problem) it sucks. You feel like you aren't getting anything done but I promise that is okay! Right now all you have to do is take care of you and baby! Guy can take care of things around the house and it can get messy, that's okay. It won't be like this forever.
Like others mentioned, called the local LLL leader, the ones here are really nice and if you tell them how desperate you are for help and that you have no car, maybe they can come out and help you. The ones here do stuff like that.
Chances are, things will be much better if you can get through this rough patch. But of course only you know how much you can handle. No one here will look down on you if you pump or formula feed. But if you want to keep BFing, please be encouraged that BFing isn't an easy thing for anyone at first, but it almost always gets better.

[JediRach]

I stopped taking the pain pills the day after I got home because they were making me go numb but I still have a lot of pain from the surgery. I think she just likes to sleep like her dad. I also have a uti from the catheter and that's not helping. The clogged duct is making it so much worse and meh. I feel like such a wimp. And I feel like its never going to get better. Maybe I'll try one of those latch assist things.

[Kiwi]

Don't have any advise, just wanted to give you a big HUG and say do whatever feels right with you. BIG HUGS sweetie. I'm sure those first few weeks are the hardest, esp. with just having had a c/s as well.

[fromGirltoMommy]

It WILL get better sweetie. Weve ALL been there. The first 6 weeks SUCK BIGGG MASSIVE MONKEY BALLS. I mean MAASSSSSSSSSIVEEEEEEE! Its horrible. h.e.11 which lots of moms leave out. Breastfeeding is the most natural UNnatural thing! ) But it IS worth it. Dont feel like if you stop that its a copout. You have to do whats best for you and Harper. Keep that in mind!

Kenni was AWESOME at the hospital. I mean super awesome breastfeeder UNTIl they gave her a binkie completely Fed our latch! I came home to a non breastfeeding child. I was pumping and feeding her that until my LC gave me a nipple shield. And it was a LIFE SAVER. I know it doesnt always work for everyone, but for Kenni and me it was just what we needed. I used that for 2 months until I finally got her off it.

I hope you find something that works for you cuz bfing is honestly amazing once you get past all the suckieness!

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

((HUGS)) Girl I don't give a crap what you feed your kid as long as your feeding her! BF is really hard at first especially after a c/s. Landen did not latch great until he was around 3 months, and I was so tired that first 3 months. It got so bad that I would hallucinate I had to feed 20 babies and I'd say weird things to Chris hah. It really does get better I swear! I mean Landen can now unsnap my bra and latch on for a quick sip while running past me LOL it just takes time!

I hope things get better for you soon! I know the feeling of being stuck at home with a newborn. Its a HUGE adjustment but that will also get easier with time! You have my support no matter what you decided to feed Harper! Oooh and ibuprofen is safe while BF if not over used and it will take a bit of an edge off of the c/s pain!

[ANGWife]

Originally Posted by JediRach

I'm ready to give up. I'm thinking of pumping and supplementing with formula. It feels like such a copout that would make the last two weeks completely pointless. I don't know what to do but I feel like its just getting worse and worse.

Don't feel like you're just giving up at all! Rachel, I had such a low supply that all I did was pump and use formula. BFing for me was a horrible experience too because my body wouldn't cooperate. Every time I tried to nurse, I would cry, he would cry. It was a mess.

I admire you for all your hard work and stamina with your little girl. But know there is no shame if you want to pump or just offer formula.

Oh and I just wanted to add that once I started pumping, I was so much more relaxed and could truly enjoy feedings. Breatmilk is important, but for some moms, feeding directly from the breast doesn't pan out.

[IamMom]

Rach....I hope you know that however you feed your baby has nothing to do with whether you are a great mom or not...so you do what is best for you and your baby...sometimes that is not bf'ing. I wasn't comfortable overall with BF'ing and although I had no issues at all except my supply was low when I tried to partially wean...I still went to bottles/formula. It just wasn't best for me and my babes as a pair. And I have healthy beautiful smart children and am a great mom.....so don't worry about what you choose. I do admire your determination to make it work if that's what you want....Harper is lucky to have you as a mommy!