ttc #2 or beyond - question

**jessie** · #1 August 14th, 2010, 01:20 AM

This is hard for me to explain so I will try to articulate it well. When you were getting ready to ttc #2 (or more), was your baby fever of equal intensity as it was when you were getting ready to ttc #1?

We have been planning to ttc this autumn. I have been looking forward to being preggo again and having a new addition, but my baby fever is just NOT there. When we ttc'd the first time, I was OBSESSED with preggos and babies. Those feelings were constant and so intense. But now I only have a small percentage of the feelings I had back then. I'm not sure if I should take this as a sign that I am not ready, or if having a baby in the first place just keeps me so preoccupied that I cannot get that obsession again.

Did that make any sense? I would love to hear your experience(s).

ANGWife · #2 August 14th, 2010, 03:59 AM

I think I could say I was happy to TTC#2 but not as much as the first. And it's not like I'm not excited to be pregnant, it's just a different feeling because your BTDT.

LisanAndy · #3 August 14th, 2010, 04:21 AM

No not at all

I only had baby fever before we conceived Taylor. I had pregnancy/giving birth fever to be honest

Of course I wanted another baby or I wouldn't have decided to TTC but I didn't have the fever. I bet if I waited longer between pregnancies/births I'd have baby fever LoL! I think before you're a mom you have a "unicorns and rainbows" idea of what motherhood is (at least I did). You're all "I know it's going to be hard work but it's going to be so wonderful", and blah blah blah. While it DEFINITELY is, you have no idea REALLY what you're talking about until you become a mother and how truly tough it is, kwim? Once you become a mom the reality sets in and it's HARD WORK. You love your kids but adding another is scary and being naive is long gone LoL.

Resi · #4 August 14th, 2010, 05:01 AM

I think it's stronger for me this time around but in a different way and for other reasons. The first time everything was new and there was the excitment of starting a family and becoming a mother. I didn't know how it would all be or how I would feel.

This time I know what it's like to be pregnant and what it's like to have a newborn. I can't wait for all of that again because I loved it the first time around. I can't wait to see my two kids play together and to be a family of 4.

It took me awhile to get to this. It has come and gone the past year but now it's at the strongest. There are also a whole new set of worries and fears with the second child than there were with getting pregnant with my first.

**Jenn** · #5 August 14th, 2010, 06:49 AM

Well Lochy was a big surprise but I was really wanting another baby at the time even though we were not trying.

When TTC Lila my baby fever was through the roof! I dont' think it equalled what it was before Liam but it was definitely up there. I'm starting to get it again actually but it'll be a long while before we're able to TTC again so I know by the time we're able to my baby fever will be astronomical!

Bre*n*Will=Reid · #6 August 14th, 2010, 08:00 AM

Wow Jessie, I could have written this myself! I know I want to TTC this year, but I'm not nearly as excited about it as I was when we were TTC Reid. Like Lisa said, your first time TTCing, you don't really think about all of the hard things...you just think about the fun things like being pregnant and buying cute things. After you actually HAVE a baby, all of a sudden you think about things like lack of sleep, going places with 2 kids, the cost, how they will get along, etc. All of the realistic things that you don't think about quite as much when it's your first time around. This is very true for me at least. I was OBSESSED with TTC and had mind-consuming baby fever when we were TTC #1.

I hardly have baby fever at all. I sometimes have it. I have pregnancy/BFP fever quite a bit, but baby fever? Er. Not much. However, I know that I want to get pregnant soon so that our kids can be about 3 years apart. To be honest, I think we will only be TTCing so that we can "get it over with" (omg, how bad does that sound?!) and finish our family. We are pretty sure we only want 2. I am not a big fan of the newborn phase so I am more looking forward to my kids as toddlers/children. Maybe that's why I have a hard time with baby fever. I would much rather have 2 toddlers running around than a toddler and an infant, but it doesn't really work that way

Frozendesire · #7 August 14th, 2010, 08:32 AM

My first was a very big surprise so I didn't have any sort of baby fever with him. I had baby fever with Dustin though. With this pregnancy I had pregnancy/bfp fever

It's also like Breanna said. Its more getting your family made, and the spacing you want them growing up with. I'm not a huge fan of the newborn stage either but 1+ things get SOOO fun! I love toddlers and preschoolers

And I can't wait for my youngest baby to be a toddler and the boys that much older. Seeing them interact and play is just so much fun!

soImarriedAnerd · #8 August 14th, 2010, 12:17 PM

Mine comes and goes and we are going to start TTC again soon....I get moments but NOTHING like with london.

LuvMyLwAaMr · #9 August 14th, 2010, 01:00 PM

I have baby fever BAD and I'm going for #3, but I never had it for the others cuz ds#1 was a surprise and I was 8 wks pg for #2 before I even knew. But like the others, I want the even spacing too... which is why i want it NOW and not later... If I can get my bfp right away, ds #1 will be 4 1/2 and #2 will be 2 1/2 when baby comes... I don't want that gap to get much bigger!!

SandKmommy · #10 August 14th, 2010, 03:54 PM

I can't compare, we never TTC #1 it happened cause we were stupid after my ob had to force ovulation. Because of that I was more excited to actually TTC #2 but again didnt' happen since I wasn't having cycles, and Kieran was a surprise baby. I can say right now I love thinking about babies and want a tiny baby again but I dont want to be pregnant or figure out how to take care of 3 kids that eat table food.

IamMom · #11 August 14th, 2010, 05:49 PM

I was not at all interested until Harrison turned two....then I started to get the fever again...and when we were finally trying for Nora my fever was as high as it was for H - probably more so.....

~Jess~ · #12 August 15th, 2010, 08:34 AM

I never really had baby fever the first time around. Dh pressured me for nearly a year and when I finally agreed, we got pregnant the first month without even really trying.

With #2, my baby fever was more about providing a sibling for Zach and less about filling a need for myself. I actually was terrified of the newborn stage because I'd had such a rough transition to mommyhood the first time around. Then Ethan arrived and I went into BTDT mode and I LOVED every second of the newborn stage.

So for #3, my baby fever was out of this world sky high! I craved another teensy baby like nothing else.

And now, I'm done. Done. DONE! No more baby fever for me!

Resi · #13 August 15th, 2010, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Jess~

I never really had baby fever the first time around. Dh pressured me for nearly a year and when I finally agreed, we got pregnant the first month without even really trying.

With #2, my baby fever was more about providing a sibling for Zach and less about filling a need for myself. I actually was terrified of the newborn stage because I'd had such a rough transition to mommyhood the first time around. Then Ethan arrived and I went into BTDT mode and I LOVED every second of the newborn stage.

So for #3, my baby fever was out of this world sky high! I craved another teensy baby like nothing else.

And now, I'm done. Done. DONE! No more baby fever for me!

I remember when you wanted 4 boys once upon a time!

Babybear4 · #14 August 15th, 2010, 02:15 PM

It's way stronger for me now than with DD. That may be because with DD, we just simply talked about not preventing and ended up pregnant that month, and this time around we've been NTNP for 6 months and TTC 3, so even thought I just got my first PPAF, I have been wanting to be pregnant for so much longer than with DD.

greeneyes · #15 August 15th, 2010, 02:33 PM

My baby fever/obsession was actually strongest when we were TTC Miss Violet.

ShannonMVT · #16 August 15th, 2010, 07:07 PM

My baby fever was stronger with TTC #1. I think I was just obsessed with wanting a baby so much, and we waited so long and there was the nervousness of "will it happen". Well now I have pregnancy/baby fever, but it's not as bad. I guess I am just not in as much of a hurry b/c I am already a mom and I figure it will happen eventually. Matthew occupies so much of my time and thoughts there is less time to obsess.

I'm happy with it this way though, b/c I wanted a baby so much before it just hurt. I prefer to want one, but not be totally devasted each month of TTC. My pregnancy fever did go up after my chemical pg though.

~Jess~ · #17 August 15th, 2010, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Resi

I remember when you wanted 4 boys once upon a time!

I know, right? lol.

LogansMomNov09 · #18 August 16th, 2010, 05:40 PM

My first was a surprise, so we were not TTC. I do have to say my perceptions of pregnancy and raising a baby are way different then they are now! I am excited we are TTC #2, but at the same time I know what I don't look forward to during the pregnancy, the tough recovery period right after birth, and the lack of sleep for several months while working full time. But I also look forward to many things that I experienced with my son.

Miracle · #19 August 16th, 2010, 09:46 PM

I think my baby fever was pretty equal both times but for slightly different reasons.

IamMom · #20 August 17th, 2010, 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bre*n*Will=Reid

I am not a big fan of the newborn phase I would much rather have 2 toddlers running around than a toddler and an infant, but it doesn't really work that way

I could have written THIS myself Bre! I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way!

Now that Nora is over one and starting to toddle around it's really getting fun with my two!!!