So, I got the job.

Babybear4 · #1 August 17th, 2010, 02:35 PM

And now I have really mixed emotions. I know that we need the money, and in order to be the best mom I can be, I feel like I need to sacrifice for my daughter to give her the things she needs and wants, so that is what I am doing. But, I can't fathom leaving her. I have been home since I was 12 weeks pregnant, and she's 14 months old. We do everything together.

I am literally sitting here bawling my eyes out imagining being without her for 30-40 hours/week. We aren't going to be able to play and water in the backyard like we have everyday this summer. We won't be able to take as many trips to the park to tucker her out for nap time. I won't be here to make her toasted cheese sandwhiches for lunch, and cut up her mangos. And smell and tickle her feet. I won't see my husband. Ever. He works 2-10 and the latest I could work would be until 6, so I will have to be in bed by the time he gets home.

I know this is what I need to do. I really do, but my heart just aches at the idea that my whole life is going to be flipped upside down. I am going to miss my baby like crazy.

Sorry for unloading on you ladies. I know many, many moms work, and their children still love them just the same, I just have never done it so I don't know what is it going to be like.

JediRach · #2 August 17th, 2010, 03:23 PM

I am really torn about going back to work eventually. I know I am going to have to because we cant afford for me not too but it will be hard.

Mars · #3 August 17th, 2010, 04:08 PM

It's hard but we have to do what we have to do. I work full time and I still find loads of time to do things with Amara. We play when we get home and I maximize weekends and holidays to the fullest.

I don't know if it's appropriate to say that it will get better. It got better for me but I know of some persons who had a really tough time with it so I guess it depends.

Congrats on getting the job. Just take it one day at a time.

~*sierra*~ · #4 August 17th, 2010, 04:40 PM

*hugs*

soImarriedAnerd · #5 August 17th, 2010, 06:56 PM

**jessie** · #6 August 17th, 2010, 09:14 PM

I will get better, I promise! I was in nearly the same situation and had a mini nervous breakdown at first. I had been home from 24 wks preggo til he was 9 months old before I went to work PT. If you want to PM me, please do.

Babybear4 · #7 August 17th, 2010, 09:36 PM

Thanks ladies! I know it will all be fine, it is just such a huge adjustment for us. I just worry that she won't love me as much anymore.

And really, my biggest worry is daycare. For now, my MIL will care for her, but my MIL does/says a lot of things I don't agree with and we have had some serious, hardcore disagreements in the past, on of which got so bad she tried to hit me and I had to call the police on her. We have since worked out issues with each other out, to a point. I feel like we still have a long way to go and to leave my daughter in her care is scary.

LisanAndy · #8 August 18th, 2010, 03:43 AM

I'm glad you got the job but I'm sorry you have to leave your little munchkin ((HUGS)) I hope the transition goes smoothly for you both.

LuvMyLwAaMr · #9 August 18th, 2010, 05:49 AM

I totally understand where you're coming from with the MIL thing... though I've never had any physical issues with her, we pretty much disagree on everything... I had an aunt that could watch ds#1 while I worked so I never gave my MIL a chance and stressed at the thought... one of my biggest problems was all she wanted to do was feed him, and my dh has battled weight all his life, not because its genetic but because thats all she did to him... right before ds#2 was born, my aunt couldnt babysit anymore, so my only option was MIL... i wasn't going to let ds#2 be born cuz there was no way I was letting that woman watch my newborn baby! After many anxiety and tear filled days and nights, i had to go back to work and she had to watch him.... and it turned out to be the best thing for my 2 boys... once the grandma in her kicked in it was all fine... to this day she's still crazy, but when she has my boys she's a whole different person!

Good Luck!

IamMom · #10 August 18th, 2010, 07:02 AM

You will get into a routine and it will be okay and you're right she'll love you just the same. I hope that things with your MIL work out, and she does what you need her to do for your child. My kids are at a daycare center/preschool and I like the socialization and the accountability there.....I can also watch them on webcams at their center

So I can see they are happy and well cared for! Good luck hun - you'll be great (as both an employee and a mommy!)

*kyle* · #11 August 18th, 2010, 09:59 AM

I went back to work FT when Dominic was only 3 months old... it was what I had to do, there was no alternative. Now he is going on 9 months and it does get a little easier over time. I try to minimize my time at work when I can (like doing some things from home). But with my commute I am still away from Dominic 40+ hours per week. He's watched in the home by a one on one nanny so that helps. I get guilt pangs regularly, but I also know that he is well taken care of, that he plays and has fun and takes naps just the same as if it were me there all day, and is safe and healthy and happy. I maximize our time together in the evenings and weekends. He has a later bedtime so we get more time together in the evenings. When I'm with him, I pay attention 100% to him. I try not to watch TV or go on the Internet so that he knows I am there to be with him. You'll find your groove and it'll work itself out. It's not the ideal but then neither is staying at home, especially when you can't afford to do so.

alicenwonderland · #12 August 18th, 2010, 10:39 AM

*Hugs* I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I'm just coming to terms with the fact that we can't afford for me to stay home with my little man. Heartbreaking, but we have to do what is best for our families. Hoping the transition is smooth for both of you.