[midnight_starr]

It all started on August 10, 2010.. Jeremiah and I headed to the hospital for our scheduled induction at 10pm. Got hooked up to the monitors and all about 11pm. I was contracting every 2-3 minutes on my own. Dr. decided to skip the cervidil and let me labor on my own until morning. 5 am came around and I was checked and wasn’t making any progress. My contractions were still close together but not intense enough to do anything. We started the pitocin at around 6am. Contractions started getting stronger right away. Progress started off slow and I don’t remember times from here on out! I got my epi at 3cm because I was already in pain. The epi was nothing like I expected. I was very scared of it at first but it ended up being the easiest thing during labor! Somewhere around 4-5cm the dr. broke my water. After I reached 5cm I started progressing faster.. At around 7-8cm I had to get my epi adjusted and more meds put in it because it just wasn’t cutting it. I started getting feeling back and I was having horrible back labor. I went from 8-9 to 10 in no time. I think it was around 8pm I was fully dilated. Right before I started pushing I had to have more meds in the epi because it was giving me issues again. I just don’t think the epi liked me and it just never worked completely! Around 8:30ish I started pushing. I pushed for over an hour and baby just wouldn’t come down. The dr. was also concerned that the baby wouldn’t fit because I have a very small/narrow pelvic area. She told me I could have pushed for hours or days and that the baby just wasn’t going to come out like this. Finally we all made the decision to go ahead with a csection. This is when things got bad and my ideal birth was thrown out the window! I trusted my dr. and wasn’t upset about the section, I was just disappointed. Right before 10pm they started to prepare for the section and by 10:17pm Adeline Louise was born, but I missed it all.. Since my epi just wouldn’t do anything they had to give me a bunch of other meds along with me going on 48 hours of no sleep and being in labor all day, I knocked out for the entire surgery. I don’t remember her coming out, or crying or anything.. I missed seeing my husbands face when he saw here for the first time. When I finally came to and realized what happened I was a huge mess. I was scared out of my mind because I had no idea what just went on. I was mad at myself for missing everything and I have a feeling it is something I will beat myself up about for awhile even though I know sometimes you do have to go all the way under for a csection. Finally I got to see my baby about an hour or 2 after surgery. The emotions when I saw her were unreal. I never loved someone so much in my whole life! I am also so completely more in love with my husband since this!

Sorry for any misspellings and typos! I am running on little sleep!!

[**Jenn**]

I'm sorry things did not go as you would have liked and you missed her birth. Try not to beat yourself up about it though, that won't help anything. What's most important now is that you are there for her for the rest of your life and I know you will be! She's just gorgeous Aimee and I'm so happy for you that she's here and doing well!

[Mars]

I think Jenn said it well.It doesn't always work out the way we want. My experience was similar without all the dialogue. Amara was not going to descend into my pelvic area even though I was pushing and pushing. That area on my body is just too small and it didn't expand to accommodate the delivery. At the end of it all, the most important thing is your beautiful baby and she is absolutely gorgeous!

[*krista*]

Congratulations again, I'm so happy for you! She's just gorgeous. Try not to beat yourself up, sometimes things are just out of our hands, you know? It isn't your fault at all. Enjoy your beautiful baby!!!

[alicenwonderland]

*Hugs* I'm sorry you had such a rough time. Don't beat yourself up though, some things are just out of our control. Glad you are loving the mommy life!

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

Aw Aimee don't beat yourself up about knocking out for the section. Because of the mag I was on, i don't remember the first 24 hours after Lily being born... and for a long time I really dwelled on that. But you will make every day from here on out count and that's what matters, because we can't un-do it, ya know?

Isn't it great falling in love with your DH all over again when watching them become a daddy?

[Frozendesire]

awe hunny no worries about your birthing experience. It may not have been the "dream" but the outcome was perfect You have a beautiful little girly to love and cherish and she's healthy, and your healthy and that's all that matter

Congratulations again!!

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

((HUGS)) I was knocked out during my section too . I'm sorry you had to be too!!!

She is so pretty Aimee you did a great job!!!

[~Caroline~]

Congrats again Aimee. I'm sorry you didn't get your dream birth but I agree with everyone else. Your daughter is perfect, you love her and she loves you. That's what counts

[LisanAndy]

Aww she's gorgeous! I agree with Steph, it may not of been how you wanted but the outcome was PERFECT. Enjoy her

[bittersweet]

I'm glad you and Adeline both are healthy and eventhough things didn't go as planed, there were no major medical complications. I would be really upset too if I didn't remember the birth of my baby. But with that said, she was born just perfect. Hopefully your DH is a good historian and can tell you all about it

[~*sierra*~]

i'm sorry it didnt go as planned hun *hugs* i have been doing some reading recently and i was reading something about epidurals and it said that pushing can be much less efficient at getting baby to descend when on the epidural (along those lines, i'm not being too exact), so you are definitely not alone with what happened to you. No matter what happened you have that gorgeous baby girl!! you did so great mama!