[alicenwonderland]

It's strange, I've been dealing with pregnancy issues since 24 weeks. I had a bad appt last week, but wasn't really too shocked becasue i've been dealing with this for so many weeks. My doc said i could deliver by 33-34 weeks, but I wasn't convinced. I continued with my positive attitude, and continued to make plans for the next few weeks. Decided not to cancel my shower etc. But i've been good and really havn't left the house in a week.

Now suddenly i'm anxious and find myself looking into every little thing as a sign of labor. It started last night and i just can't shake this feeling of "doom". I feel like THIS time when i stand up to use the bathroom, my water will break. Or if i take a shower the gravity will cause him to dialate my cervix. Stupid little things. It doesn't help, that now when i walk, I can feel his head pressing down, I keep feeling these sharp pains in my cervix, and i keep having diarrhea. I'm still having frequent BH, but nothing that feels like the real deal. My doctor said there's nothing they can do for my cervix at this point apart from bedrest, and to call if i start having real contractions... of course none of those yet.

I just wish i could shake this and get back to being positive. I've dissolved into tears several times today, and find myself taking MANY naps so i can not think about things. Hypnobabies doens't help me relax anymore, just reminds me about delivering.

I can't help but worry about my little guy. I feel like if i deliver now, i'll be letting him down and putting him at serious risk.

[LisanAndy]

I already commented on FB (and I read this a few mins ago but didn't post because of my girls keeping me busy LoL) but wanted you to know that I understand the roller coaster of emotions you're experiencing right now. This pregnancy has been my hardest yet and I'm over it. Trying to take care of and parent (ie: discipline ALL FREAKING DAY LoL!) 2 toddlers, keep a clean house, potty train Taylor, cook all three meals where I hardly eat anything, all while trying to plan home school stuff, my sciatic nerve and pelvis are killing me, I have contractions A LOT, my blood pressure is high, all my dental work, now possible diabetes... yeah, I'm done. I'm so thankful for my kids and that I've been blessed with the opportunity to conceive them, give birth to them, and raise them but my body is DONE. I'm ready to move on to the next phase in my life with our family of 5 so pray that I don't unexpectedly become pregnant before Spring 2011 when Andy can get a vasectomy

[ANGWife]

Oh Alice

Being a new mommy is scary/uncertain enough without your added stress. Must be impossible not to obsess. I don't have any advice, but vent away! We're here for you!

[Mars]

(((HUGS)))

[Resi]

Hugs.. I would be the same way. It's hard not to worry when you've been told it could happen so soon. I hope you can find some relaxing ways to take your mind of it.

[Mjp121212]

I'm not too experienced here but is it too late for cerclage? Sorry if that is a dumb question, I really don't know

[alicenwonderland]

yes it's too late. my doc mentioned it at my appt

[Babybear4]

BIG . I remember those feelings all too well, and the only advice I have is to just take it day by day. Are you taking terbutaline or anything? How often are your appointments now?

And remember too that anytime you are worried at all, your doctor is there to help you, whether they act like they want to or not. Don't ever be ashamed to call with questions or go in if you get concerned. I went in "in labor" probably 5 times, only to be told that I wasn't having contractions that the monitor could pick up and to call if I was doubled over in pain.

And try to keep reminding yourself that medical care these days is so wonderful that even if he came tomorrow, he would be in good hands. You aren't a failure, your body isn't a failure. It's just that things aren't happening for you in the way they do for most pregnancies. The more you can relax your mind, the better off you, your baby and your body are.

Vent away, girl. Everyday if you need to.

[~Caroline~]

I'm sorry you're so worried. I'm definitely keeping you and Teddy in my thoughts and hope he stays put.

[~*sierra*~]

hoping teddy stays put for you hun....chelle has said talking to her baby really helped her relax....maybe have a little chat with him? also try to eat some super nutritious delicious food, i find i feel a lot better overall (mentally and physically) when i've eaten well. i know what you mean about hypnobabies soemtimes not helping, when i had my last bleed i couldnt listen to it for two days because it just worried me.

[freesiangel]

((((hugs)))) I'm sorry you're in panic mode. Hoping baby stays put and that you can relax a little.

[**Jenn**]

Oh Alice, I'm so sorry you're so worried. All of us are pulling for you and praying that Teddy stays put even just a few more weeks. But even if he doesn't he will be fine. You have to let yourself off the hook here. Its not your fault any of this early stuff is happening. Unfortunately pregnancy and childbirth are things beyond our control for the most part. Just keep with the bed rest and do all you can do to relax and calm down. I had a major freak out moment towards the end of my pregnancy with Liam. I no longer trusted my body to keep him safe and needed him out. I was in full panic mode complete with crying fits. Of course it didn't help that my MIL kept asking me how did I know the cord wasn't around his neck strangling him. But I was a mess until he was born (almost 3 weeks early). So just calm yourself and think positive, good thoughts.

[alicenwonderland]

Thanks for understanding ladies. I feel bad for posting such a downer. I think i was having some bad hormone days. I feel much better today. I realized last night that i was crying over more than just pregnancy and teddy. Yikes! I seemed so emotionally stable up until recently!

Thanks again, ladies.

[*kyle*]

Those difficult days will come... before and after his actual birth. I've been there, oh believe me have I been there!

You only have 1 week and 2 days until Teddy hits the major milestone of 34 weeks. That was when my OB felt comfortable with me going off of the Procardia pills I'd been taking. I still continued taking them for my own peace of mind, but the OB would have felt comfortable with me delivering at that point. In my case, his estimated weight was always about 2 weeks ahead of his gestational age, so that probably helped too. During the first incident of bleeding/PTL, I had gotten steroid shots in the emergency room to help develop his lungs so that wasn't a major concern either. There are MANY things in place at any hospital emergency or delivery room that will ensure Teddy is safe and healthy even if he comes a few weeks early. That doesn't mean you want to deliver him soon, of course, but it can be a reassurance to those of us with issues in the 3rd tri.

Please don't beat yourself up for having some rough patches. Your hormones are sky high and you're scared. Half the time you're probably unsure what is even triggering your feelings. ALL NORMAL!!

Try to do the best you can on bed rest, don't push yourself, stay extremely hydrated, and take it one day at a time.

[soImarriedAnerd]

{{hugs}} Its very normal, heck I had an "easy" pregnancy and still had major freak out moments! Like kyle said---birth doesn't make them go away... its ALWAYS something.