[Babybear4]

In October or November of 2009, I joined the NTNP message board, fully thinking that I would either have another baby by now, or be pregnant. Today, I just saw a post from the last original girl there that I really remember posting with, and she just got her BFP, so I am the only one left that still posts on JM (or that I see post). I am soo happy for all of them, but it sucks seeing everybody else move on but yourself.

I woke up this morning to a slight temp rise, but a BFN, so I am expecting my temp will drop tomorrow and AF will be here either tomorrow or the next day. Then, we'll move on to cycle # 4 of TTC, so not too long, but add that to the 6 months of NTNP and I feel like I have been wanting a baby for so long. Granted, I did just get my cycle back in June, but just because I COULDN'T conceive, doesn't mean I didn't WANT to, KWIM?

With DD, we just stopped pulling out, and that month I got a BFP, and I guess while part of me knew better, some of me hoped it would be the same this time around. I know how difficult this is for me, so I can't even imagine how hard it must be for the girls who wait 6+ months of actively TTC to get pregnant. I certainly hope I don't have to wait that long, but it's out of my hands.

So, that's my whine. I just feel defeated and completely stressed with everything else I have going on in my life. And then of course, since DH and I will be working opposite shifts, I worry we will never have time to BD which will delay getting pregnant even more, but hopefullly we'll work it all out.

[LisanAndy]

I'm sorry it's taking a while. I really hope you get your BFP soon. I know when you want a baby (back before I conceived #1, I waited almost a year with possible conception problems which didn't happen) it's so very hard to just sit by and watch everyone else get pregnant. Your whole heart and soul ACHES for it. Praying it happens again soon for you!

[alicenwonderland]

*Hugs* All i can say is that i understand. I remember that ache, and there's really nothing like it. We started TTC in 2008, and didn't get pregnant with Teddy until 2010. I was so broken by that point, and felt that it would never happen.... but it did . Hang in there, Mama.

[Babybear4]

Thanks ladies. I feel like I almost have no right to complain, because I do have such a precious little girl here, and there are so many women who have such a hard time getting pregnant, that I feel like I should just count my blessings, but then there is just something so deep down inside of me that just aches for another baby.

I appreciate the kind words, and understanding. I try to talk to DH about it, but he just doesn't get it. He knows how badly I want to be pregnant, but he doesn't know the connection of a mother to the child in her womb, and he doesn't understand the emptiness when you long for it, but can't have it. You ladies understand and it feels so good to know I am not alone.

[sara~b]

You're not alone! I got my IUD out in the late summer of 2007 and I didn't get pregnant with Ashlyn until November of 2009! And between Gemma and the IUD I had something like 1.5 years without getting pregnant. I was so sure I would never be pregnant again that Shane and I started making plans to see an RE. I was charting so that I could have an idea of whether I was O'ing or not and how my LP was going and suddenly I had one perfect cycle and that was all it took! You'll get your BFP soon!

[Mars]

I've not been in the same situation but so many here have gone through it so we know what you mean. I'm sorry it's taking a while. I hope something happens soon.

(((HUGS)))

[ShannonMVT]

*hugs* I'm kind of similar situation in a few ways. I've got my little boy and we are now on cycle #5 of trying. In my case it took a long time to get Matthew so it bums me out that it may take a long time this time too. But then of course I feel like I have my son so I can't complain too much.

It bugs me too when I see ppl who have started TTC the same time I did or later and they get pregnant and I don't. I think it's a natural reaction to feel "left behind". When I get too much that way I have to take a JM break or try to focus on the good things in my life and remember that my life is not theirs. I know that may sound dumb? But anyway, I try to look at it as if it takes me longer to get pregnant, then maybe it will end up being better in some ways to have a longer age gap. Maybe Matthew needs more time being my one and only. And like you said, it is out of your hands. I know it's frustrating though.

Anyway I feel like I am rambling here. Just wanted to say I am in the same boat!

[Babybear4]

Thank you all for understanding. I feel so selfish, but sometimes you just gotta get it off your chest.

[~Caroline~]

It took us a LOOONG time to conceive so I definitely understand. TTC sucks.

[**Jenn**]

TTC does suck. After my miscarriage in January 2003 we were NTNP (though I knew when I was ovulating) and I wanted a baby sooooo badly. We didn't conceive Liam until April 2005. We actively were TTC Lila for 9 months so while it wasn't nearly as long a wait as Liam it was still much longer than I would have liked. Especially because Lochy was a huge surprise and I got pregnant with him before ever having a pp af after Liam.

Just trust that your time will come and you will get the child you are meant to have. I know its little consolation but it helped me to think that my baby wasn't ready for me yet. And I'm so glad I have the children I have.

[♥Ashley♥]

Um, I joined TTC#1 in November 2008 fully thinking I would have a baby by now, possibly even pregnant with another. And here I sit with no baby, not even a belly! Believe me, I know the feeling of everyone moving on and being the last one left!

[soImarriedAnerd]

[~*sierra*~]

took us a while too, ttc sucks!

[*JenJen*]

I know the feeling ofe veryone moving on and feeling like you are the last one left. Like Ashley, I joined TTC#1 way back..we've been TTC since 2007 with no luck still. TTC really sucks

[*kyle*]

[*krista*]

Don't feel like you don't have a right to complain. TTC sucks no matter how long you have been doing it. Many of us have felt that pain so we know where you are coming from. You can always complain to us!

I really hope you get your bfp soon.