[alicenwonderland]

I've taken a lot of the pregnancy nasties in stride. MS sure, hemmorhoids you betcha, stretch markes took some adjusting, but ok with those too. My swelling is suddenly way worse. (yes, BP is fine) My feet no longer "go down" when i lay down and put them up, and if i stand up, they get worse and my hands bloat as well. That dosen't gross me out, its just getting painful. Yesterday I was pretty grumpy. Didn't stay after church for dinner, and ended up taking 2 naps, then going to bed early.

During my naps i noticed a sharp pain in my bump. I had noticed it before, but it was getting worse. I felt something was ripping apart. I told myself that was silly. I readjusted and went back to sleep. Upon waking the pain was still there. I went to the mirror to see if i had a new stretch mark. I didn't see anything, so i felt where the pain was, which was right above my belly button. It was squashy and soft..... Then i understood. I had separated my rectus, (the two abdominal panels) leaving a one inch hole at the largest part of my stomach. For some reason this REALLY grosses me out!!!!! I can't think about it or look at it without wanting to cry. Poor Matt had to deal with my blubbering for most of the night. For some reason i'm only now starting to have issues with my body image, and the things i know are permanent. I feel sorry for myself and think "If only he was born a couple days ago, this never would have happened!!!" Which is silly and selfish.... but i guess i'm just hormonal. The spot where it's separated is still really sensitive, and of course every time i feel the pain there, i get the willies now that i know what it is. I'm wearing a belly band to help me feel "held together" and trying my best not to use my abs at all. I don't want to make the problem worse. Of course contractions always make it hurt.... so labor should be fun.

Did any of you ladies have this problem? I feel like it's one of those things that people jsut don't talk about, or don't even realize they have. I called my mother and she said "Yeah, that happened to me. Why do you think my stomach still looks like a bowl full of mush?"

[**Jenn**]

I'm so sorry Alice. I can't say that that happened to me but I sure got my full of pregnancy crap. With Lila my stomach got so big my stretch marks started ripping apart--4 weeks before she was born! I was always bleeding on my belly. Then of course was the severe symphisis pubis disfunction, which has stayed with me (not as sever but still painful). I understand the body image stuff; I was anorexic for 5 years (from 15 to 20) and it was really hard for me to accept the way I look after kids. It's really hard to look at yourself and know the things that are permanent and that you can't do anything about it. Because my belly gets so incredibly huge the skin now just hangs, only cure is a tummy tuck. Oh and at my 6 week pp check up my midwife told me my bladder and rectum are falling into my vagina which is why I've been doing like 1000 kegels a day to try and stop it from getting worse. I really don't want to incontinent at 40. I don't swell during pregnancy, that comes for me after I have the baby. I can't wear my shoes or rings for a couple weeks.

Huge HUGS Alice. It will get better, he'll come soon, and your body will start to return to a familiar shape. You probably won't ever look the same as you did before you had him but it won't be too far off and when you look at his little face you'll see this sacrifice is very worth it!

[Mjp121212]

No but I've seen on TV about it I'm so sorry

[LisanAndy]

I'm sorry ((HUGS)) Yes, my body has forever been changed. My tummy has loose skin and sags near the bottom and it will ALWAYS bother me. Only a tummy tuck will fix this. There have been times where I've though, "I'm only 23 years old and my tummy looks like it's been around for 80 years!". I have stretch marks all over my legs and my tummy as well. My chest is saggier and definitely doesn't look like a 23 year old's boobs. I've come to accept my body more so now than before but it's still hard to look at in the mirror and see how much I've changed. I always ask Andy, "How could you possibly still find me attractive anymore?!?!". He always assures me that he does... and it's very obvious that he does, but I feel so gross. What if he's just so desperate to have sex and he only has me since I'm his wife... yes, I've thought that LoL. He's assured me he finds me MORE attractive now, knowing what my body can do and has done, and that I look more womanly and curvy to him and despite all that, if love is only skin deep then boy are we in for it in our older age. He's right. Every little flaw I have now is worth it but it still really sucks LoL.

[Oriyan]

Oh hun

Yes, I had the MS, never had to deal with hemorrhoids thankfully, but I had some stretch marks on my boobs and butt -- you can kinda see them but kinda not because the came in my last 3-4 weeks of pregnancy. My ab muscles split apart around 16 weeks (it was disgusting because mine split the WHOLE WAY DOWN). They are still split. My belly is not a giant ball of mush, but I do have the front spare tire a bit. I have pretty much gotten myself back to my pre-pregnancy weight (and it took me a year so don't except an over night change!) but my body is shaped differently. My boobs JUST NOW have gone back to their smaller -- Small B size. (I was a small D when pregnant -- which has been a rough adjustment because just when I get adjusted to a C, they went to B now to a small B -- it sucks!). But my hips -- thighs -- stomach -- waist -- they are all proportioned differently now.

Just as a heads up -- don't expect to go home looking like you did not have a kid! you will go home looking about 5 months pregnant. I was down to 143 pounds by 17 days PP (from 170+) and i STAYED 143 until I dieted and lost the rest (Lost 10 pounds this summer). Even though I am back at my pre-preggo weight -- I just don't look the same in the mirror.

I will see what I can do tomorrow about getting a picture of what my abs look like now split.

[bittersweet]

Pregnancy leaves very people totally unchanged. Granted some endure more changes than others...but something stays with everyone. I think there are certain exercises you can do PP do fix the abd seperation. But you have to do them at specific point PP. If you do them too early you can make it worse, too late and they won't heal. Wear your belly band afterwards as often as you can.

If you take care of yourself and work at it, your body will probably look pretty close to pre preg. Like everyone says, it takes time. I was in maternity clothes for about 4 months PP. I've lost all my weight and have been working out regularly and I think I look pretty darn good. Even with a few stretch marks on my tummy...it looks flat and toned. I'll still don't think I'll ever want to wear a bikini again, and I was sad about that for awhile, but now I don't care at all.

I guess my point even with the things you have, it does not mean you will be left looking fat and frumpy. Take care of yourself and your body and you'll be surprised how well your body can recover.

[*Mrs.J.2011*]

I know I dont have any experience with this, but my mom has always had a problem with her "post 4 kids" belly. She always smiles after and says that us kids were worth it and that even tho she wishes the stretch marks and sag issues would go away, she wouldnt change it if it meant not having us. I hope your little man comes soon so that your body can start going back to its normal!! HUGS!

[Mars]

I'm so sorry, hun. I did not experience that and I don't think I knew about it before. It sounds so painful. I don't know what to say that will make you feel better but pregnancy does take its toll on the body. I have minor physical reminders of pregnancy but I have almost constant back pains now. Teddy will be here very soon and I think his adorable little face will make you forget everything. Our bodies may never be the same but you bet, we produce the most wonderful little people from it. (((HUGS)))

[greeneyes]

I have a huge hernia above my belly button, courtesy of my pregnancy with Violet. When I lay down and raise my head, it looks like an alien is going to pop out.

I'll even include pics so you can feel a lil better about your tummy.

Laying flat:


Head raised:

[Oriyan]

YEAH! That's what mine looks like!

[alicenwonderland]

yikes! i've been researching correction methods all day lol. Found one interesting one Diastasis Rehab - The Tupler Technique for Treating a Diastasis Recti

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

When you poke my belly button... it pokes you back. I'm serious it is really weird!

[Oriyan]

So wait -- that's a hernia???

How come no one told me?!

[Kiwi]

Kate... seriously... is that a hernia?! I'm only 24 weeks along and my belly already does that when I'm lying down/lifting my head up...

[greeneyes]

Well, it kind of depends. Diastasis is really common with pregnancy and is NOT a hernia. It doesn't involve the fascia, isn't painful, and can only be observed when you do a sit up. Mine was diagnosed as a hernia after an ultrasound and along with the fact that it's still visible when standing and sometimes causes pain until I push my intestines back in.

[alicenwonderland]

mine makes that shape, but it's not the same. My abs make a cone. But you can tell the difference. Hard are abs, soft is not. Don't get too scared Tash!

[Frozendesire]

Yup my tummy does that... but cause my abs are seperated. After Dustin I worked out and did excersizes to bring them closer together, I think it worked pretty well if I remember correctly.

My body is sooooo different. I really hate my stretch marks... But after getting into better shape after Dustin I felt alot better... and even now I feel okay about my body cause I know it will only be for a little while, that I CAN get into better shape. However there are things that are just ALWAYS going to be different... stretchmarks, hips, boobs, etc etc... my belly button looks HORRID from being pierced and then pregnant, it just didn't work well for me haha.

Ya I could go on and on.

[Kiwi]

Oh boy, isn't pregnancy grand!