Locks

**Jenn** · #1 October 27th, 2010, 07:07 AM

I am so tempted to put a little hook and eye latch on the outside of the boys' bedroom door. Liam WILL NOT stay in his bed and when he does get up he goes into my FIL's room instead of ours. We've told him literally thousands of times to come into our room and leave Grandpa alone. I've taken away toys for not listening he just keeps doing it. I don't really mind the getting up part its the fact that he refuses to listen and keeps going into my FIL's room. He says he doesn't mind but when you work a 14 hour day I don't care who you are, you need your sleep, and he compains about it every morning Liam does this. We have the monitor in their room still so we can still hear them if they need us and they never have to pee in the night so thats not really an issue. I feel bad doing it but for crying out loud I'm at the end of my rope with him!

Oh and this is a fairly new thing, only been doing it the past few months. I'm just sick and tired of him not listening to me.

LisanAndy · #2 October 27th, 2010, 07:35 AM

I have a door knob cover over Taylor's door and it's taped LoL. I don't need her roaming the house. I do have a monitor in her room to be sure everything's fine though

soImarriedAnerd · #3 October 27th, 2010, 08:27 AM

My first concern would be what happens if there is a fire, IMHO that just doesn't sound safe.
Can't FIL lock his door so no one can come in instead? If it can't and the door is in a hallway can you put up a babygate to block him from getting to it? I wish I had more ideas for you...sounds difficult.

ShannonMVT · #4 October 27th, 2010, 08:59 AM

I kind of agree with Angela, can FIL lock his door? If not you could buy a new doorknob and get one that locks? There's lots of other different options the door knob covers as well, baby gates....just depends on what you think will work best. But I agree with you, you probably need to do something to keep this from going on anymore. Good luck!

SandKmommy · #5 October 27th, 2010, 09:24 AM

Seamus' door is locked at night and has been for over a year now. But its not locked with a lock we tie it shut so if there were a fire the rope would burn off and he would still be able to get out. He's gotten out of his room and we've found him playing outside, he got into the kitchen when I was pregnant and smashed all our eggs on the floor, he'll eat anything he wants, climb on top of the entertainment center. He will not wake us up so for saftey we have to do what we have to.

~*sierra*~ · #6 October 27th, 2010, 09:28 AM

i hope you can sort it out, at least he's not hurting himself or wrecking stuff but yes it must be hard on your FIL......let us know waht you end up doing

~*Bethy*~ · #7 October 27th, 2010, 11:26 AM

This is EXACTLY I mean TO THE T how Ian is. Last night he snuck scissors up to his room, and I awoke to find Morgan's scraggly hair (you know all the long bits that fall out of a pony tail?) chopped off. and the hair around her ears that never stays up either. I would have FIL lock his door, and put up a tall (taller than him) walk through gate at his doorway. I also dont like the idea of even tying the door shut because what happens if the fire pins the child in before it gets to the door? That just scares me. If he can get out of a baby gate then I dunno? Im about to super glue Ian's arse to his bed...or tie him to his bed....something to where I know FOR SURE I can close my eyes and not have my house (or my daughters hair WHICH IVE NEVER CUT) destroyed. Sorry...this subject is a bit touchy for me....

*runs away to cry....*

SandKmommy · #8 October 27th, 2010, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*Bethy*~

This is EXACTLY I mean TO THE T how Ian is. Last night he snuck scissors up to his room, and I awoke to find Morgan's scraggly hair (you know all the long bits that fall out of a pony tail?) chopped off. and the hair around her ears that never stays up either. I would have FIL lock his door, and put up a tall (taller than him) walk through gate at his doorway. I also dont like the idea of even tying the door shut because what happens if the fire pins the child in before it gets to the door? That just scares me. If he can get out of a baby gate then I dunno? Im about to super glue Ian's arse to his bed...or tie him to his bed....something to where I know FOR SURE I can close my eyes and not have my house (or my daughters hair WHICH IVE NEVER CUT) destroyed. Sorry...this subject is a bit touchy for me....

*runs away to cry....*

Tell me what to do then...Seamus can open all walk through gates and he is taller then the tall one we bought in 09. I dont want him to get out and get hit by a car either.
I think for Liam though havign FIL lock his door would be the best. We're lost about what to do though.

~*Bethy*~ · #9 October 27th, 2010, 11:50 AM

Justine, I didnt mean to offend you, that was the last thing on my mind. I, personally, dont think locking the door is a good idea, but if it works for you - go for it!

Im going to stop posting now cuz Im in a bad mood over Ian and its coming out obviously...

LuvMyLwAaMr · #10 October 27th, 2010, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soImarriedAnerd

My first concern would be what happens if there is a fire, IMHO that just doesn't sound safe.
Can't FIL lock his door so no one can come in instead? If it can't and the door is in a hallway can you put up a babygate to block him from getting to it? I wish I had more ideas for you...sounds difficult.

One of my biggest fears is a house fire at night. And in response to using the rope and thinking that if there's a fire, it will burn off... don't want to upset anyone, it sounds sensible, but think about it, if that rope is burning off his door, that means the fire is already at his room and no one is using that door anyways and it could be too late.

**Jenn** · #11 October 27th, 2010, 12:36 PM

I guess I'm just not concerned so much about the fire hazard aspect of it. I mean, in the very remote chance we ever have a house fire we'd have to go get the boys anyway. The half a second it would take to throw a latch wouldn't be a big deal IMO.

Justine, both the boys have also gone downstairs without waking us and gotten into food they shouldn't be having. Thankfully we have high latches on all the outside doors so they can't get outside (because Lochy has done that during the day on me a couple times). And we have a very busy road that lots of tractor trailers go down right out front.

My FIL won't lock his door, we asked. He insists he doesn't mind but if he didn't mind he wouldn't complain to me about it all the time. And plus, that's really a non issue because I mind. I want him to listen to me and he's not.

I like Lisa's idea of the safety doorknob on their side of the door. Because the baby gate won't work either. They can both get through them and we're going to need them very soon downstairs because Lila is close to crawling. I can't afford to be spending that kind of money on a gate right now, they're not cheap and we're broke. Also, you guys have to understand that this isn't my house. I can't just get new doorknobs or start replacing or modifying things.

Still thinking about what to do...

~*Bethy*~ · #12 October 27th, 2010, 01:07 PM

I will say this though about locking them in from the inside, if for WHATEVER REASON (and Im thinking absolute worst here! not meaning to offend ANYONE...) if someone went to DHS/CPS/whatever you call it and told them about it, you could be in super big trouble for potentially locking them in their rooms....Ive seen it happen before to a friend. Just my 2 cents.

LisanAndy · #13 October 27th, 2010, 01:28 PM

My mom had to put a hook closure on a door WITH a gate to keep my oldest sister in her room because she could have killed herself. They found her on the top of the FRIDGE at 2 years old in the middle of the night, ect. The chances of those things happening were almost every day compared to potential house fire. I'd rather know my kid was safe in their room, even if it means they're locked in there, than to let them have the roam of the house. If I DIDN'T prevent something from happening and something did, then CPS would be called on me regardless KWIM? I have a knob thingy on Taylor's door (Rylie's still in a crib so I'm not worried about it ATM) but with a monitor in there I'm still fully aware of what's going on and there are fire alarms in EVERY room in my house so I feel comfortable with it. I TOTALLY understand why some moms wouldn't though...

SandKmommy · #14 October 27th, 2010, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisanAndy

My mom had to put a hook closure on a door WITH a gate to keep my oldest sister in her room because she could have killed herself. They found her on the top of the FRIDGE at 2 years old in the middle of the night, ect. The chances of those things happening were almost every day compared to potential house fire. I'd rather know my kid was safe in their room, even if it means they're locked in there, than to let them have the roam of the house. If I DIDN'T prevent something from happening and something did, then CPS would be called on me regardless KWIM?.

We have people at our house every week. Seamus' PSR worker, Kieran's Early Headstart worker and I've told his pedi, OT and Speech Therapist and they all agree its safer (and none has threatened to call CPS on us either) for us to do what we do then it is for it to not be locked. There is absolutely no other way to keep him in his room and I'm sorry we live on a very busy street with no fenced yard and I don't want him being hit by a car. It sometimes sucks having a special needs kid that doesn't really understand what is safe and what isn't. Each person will have their own view on this so to each their own.

Mars · #15 October 27th, 2010, 01:50 PM

From all angles these situations seem so scary to me, the locked doors, the night walking, the scissors and hair cutting, fires, etc.

I want to offer safe and workable solutions but I'm drawing blanks. I'm not for the locked doors on adults or children's rooms. It just scares me that something happens and I can't get to the person/person immediately but roaming the house and getting into all kinds of things is just as scary and the scissors/hair cutting sent chills down my spine.

So, I think this is an excellent topic and hopefully noone will take offense to the opinions of others but it needs to be discussed thoroughly, from all angles - good and bad, and maybe we can brainstorm and find a suitable and workable solution.

~*Bethy*~ · #16 October 27th, 2010, 01:53 PM

Im honestly surprised I haven't found Ian on top of the fridge. I think Ian just doesnt care. like, I honestly dont know what goes through his brain when he does the things he does. I can discapline him allllll daaaaay looooong (like Im doing now) and at the end of the day, hes right back at it. grrr....

ShannonMVT · #17 October 27th, 2010, 02:03 PM

Trust me, I know where you are coming from Justine. I don't think there is any perfect solution for a kid who is determined to be OUT of their room and into trouble and any way to do it that would also allow them access in case of a fire. I do believe every mom on here would literally walk through fire to get to their kid if the need arose.

I worry about when Matthew learns to open doors, it is not that far off. Our door to the garage sometimes doesn't close that well and sometimes Dh leaves the garage door open too. And what is Matthew's favorite thing to do? He walks with us down the sidewalk down to this little pond at the end of the street. It's down a steep hill so I bet the neighbors wouldn't even see if he went down there unless someone happened to be outside. I can just see him getting out and walking down there and drowning.

I guess the best anyone can do is whatever kind of lock or restraint you use, try to make it so you or a firefighter can still get to them easily in case of a fire.

I think the doorknob cover on the inside sounds like a good idea, as long as he doesn't figure out how to open it in spite of the cover.

SandKmommy · #18 October 27th, 2010, 02:15 PM

See if Seamus needed to he could jump out his window for a fire, it is on the 2nd floor so he'd probably break a leg but that can be fixed easily. But at the same time I don't want to tell him he could do that cause he would do it just for fun (he can open his window, the locks don't stop him)
I'm worried about Kieran and doors, luckily she still has another 2-3" to go before she can reach them, and she still sleeps in our room till we can find a way to move so I know she couldn't get out of there.

LisanAndy · #19 October 27th, 2010, 02:20 PM

Beth, I KNOW what you mean

Rylie is CONSTANTLY getting into the trash can, trying to climb the entertainment stand, eating anything and everything off the floor and no matter how many times I discipline, it goes in one ear and out the other LoL! Drives me frickin bonkers! Taylor was never like that, she usually always listened the first time and still does so this is new for me

**Jenn** · #20 October 27th, 2010, 02:28 PM

My thing is not just the direct disobedience and not listening but both boys also have sleep issues. Liam will walk in his sleep sometimes and Lochy has night terrors. I don't want them injuring themselves unknowingly in the muddle of the night. Just because awake they know not to do something doesn't mean they wouldn't do it while sleeping and not aware of their actions.

I'm stuck here. I want to keep them safe but it seems like every option is "wrong."