[**jessie**]

Do you offer one meal and if they if they don't eat it, then so be it? Or do you give them something different?

I am asking because Jaxon is going through some sort of 'stage'. What sort of stage I don't know... a picky stage (he has always eaten everything set before him)?? A not hungry stage??

He eats well during the day and then I hold back snacks just before dinner, but he has been eating very little at dinnertime. Only eating 4-5 bites and drinking 2-3 oz whole milk. I try to offer a variety of things. Like tonight, he got tuna fish sandwich pieces, pickle pieces, fresh red raspberries, and 6 oz whole milk. He smeared a lot of into the ground but that was it.

I always feel bad about putting him to bed when he has barely eaten or drinken, but idk what to do. He has ample time. Idk if I should try to give him something different when he does this, or if that will just promote picky eating.

[ScottishBrit]

Cambria's been in that slump of eating lately. She used to be a very good eater! Then about 4 months ago she became picky. There has been MANY night's where I know she's hungry but will eat maybe 4 bites and thats It! NOTHING else! I feel bad putting her to sleep with barely anything in her tummy but she goes to sleep fine. Right now all she wants to eat is Pancakes! Seriously. She'll eat like 4-7 mini pancakes for breakfast. Then when I make her plate for lunch and dinner she starts crying for Pancakes. Last night I made Mashed potato's, Chicken, and corn. She ate a scoop of potato's ( which she normally never touches ) maybe 5 kernals of corn and 2 small bites of chicken. Thats it! Ive read this is normal and it's a "control" issue. Since they can't control anything else, they know they can control what and when they want to eat. It's very frustrating! I think If It were up to Cambria she'd be on a ALL milk diet!

[Frozendesire]

I remember the times when me and my MIL would look at Curtis in wonder... he was growing just fine, outgrowing his clothes and he was filled with energy but he hardly ate a thing! He still has his moments.

I don't have the desire to make something and then make something completely different because he refuses to eat it. I ONLY do that if it's a new food, or something he doesn't normally like anyways. If it's something he normally eats then he either eats that or doesn't get anything... thats the same for both boys. I really do not want picky eaters when they are older. I'm also not going to be making a billion and 1 different dishes just to see which they will eat.

Sometimes I give them choices before i make it. I give them two items they can choose from. I also usually give them an option of dipping sauce or something and that helps.

But we've had those stages of not eating and I just roll with it. They have their "teenager days" and eat EVERYTHING i offer them, and other days they just aren't interested at all.

If they don't eat their dinner at all, I will offer a fruit after usually. We usually make them try everything on their plate (a bit of everything) and sometimes if it's something I know they like I will make them eat a certain portion (I try as much as i can anyways).

I try not to make meal time a battle.

[~*sierra*~]

i always wondered about this too ever since we were over at our friends place and their 20 month old was acting just awful about eating. and i could tell the parents felt bad and just wanted to feed the poor kid, but he was being a little turd about it!

[**jessie**]

Thanks ladies! My gut feeling has been to only offer one meal, but I always offer several food types in that meal with at least a couple things I know he (has) liked before.

I just feel soooo guilty when I see him only take 5 bites of food. Not exaggerating, I actually count! He eats at 6:30pm so sometimes he goes 14-15 hrs during the evening and overnight with nothing but those couple bites food and a couple oz milk.

Steph, I like the idea of offering up a choice. I just have to wait for him to get old enough to understand me!

[soImarriedAnerd]

I barely can cook one meal! there is no way I'm making two! LOL So if he doesn't eat it, he doesn't eat.
Anyway....isn't it healthier to eat more in the morning and slow down by evening....that always what we taught our obese patients at least. I make sure that he gets a very healthy breakfast if he didn't do much dinner.

[Mjp121212]

Pedi told me that there were 2 things you could not control in young kids: When they poop and what they swallow LOL. I asked the same thing about Brayden.

Our situation is a bit different due to his issues, BUT....

I ask him what he wants, if he tells me something specific then no problem I fix it, or I'll offer a couple of choices. If he doesn't eat what he chooses, then too bad. Also remember, their tastes change and picky eating as a kid is also kinda normal. At 16m Brayden would eat nearly anything I gave him, by 2 he'd eat just a few things. I had to start catering to it because he began to fall off the growth chart because he'd flat out refuse and just go hungry. Now though, I get him to at least take 1 or 2 bites of something, and if he doesn't want it then he can have what he will eat. But I also have the child who refuses hot dogs and hamburgers haha!

[Resi]

My child has never been a good eater and is super picky. If he ate 5 bites that would be a good dinner night for him!! He has always been a small eater and picky. From the get go. When it comes to breakfast and lunch I sometimes offer him a couple choices. I always make something for those two meals that I know he has eaten before and likes. There are still plenty of days were he will not want something he has loved before. For instance he was on a huge cottage cheese kick and would usually eat an egg for breakfast. For the past month he won't touch cottage cheese and isn't into eggs much either. When it comes to dinner I make something he might eat. We have many nights were he only takes a couple bites. When he doesn't he much of his lunch or dinner I will offer him some fruit or yogart during that meal time. Before bed I try to get a snack into him so he isn't starving at night time while sleeping. Oliver has NEVER drank more than a few sips of milk, juice, etc. I see other kids chug down 8oz of milk but Oliver would never ever do that. He prefers water but only takes drinks here and there. He tends to nurse on me when he doesn't want to eat which can drive me nuts at times. I have been guilty of cooking or making several different things to try to get him to eat something. He is so small and I worry that he is starving himself. I know that I can not make him try something or eat his meal. We would sit at the table all day long. He can't be bribed either. I'm hoping he outgrows it soon.

My child has never been a good eater and is super picky. If he ate 5 bites that would be a good dinner night for him!! He has always been a small eater and picky. From the get go. When it comes to breakfast and lunch I sometimes offer him a couple choices. I always make something for those two meals that I know he has eaten before and likes. There are still plenty of days were he will not want something he has loved before. For instance he was on a huge cottage cheese kick and would usually eat an egg for breakfast. For the past month he won't touch cottage cheese and isn't into eggs much either. When it comes to dinner I make something he might eat. We have many nights were he only takes a couple bites. When he doesn't he much of his lunch or dinner I will offer him some fruit or yogart during that meal time. Before bed I try to get a snack into him so he isn't starving at night time while sleeping. Oliver has NEVER drank more than a few sips of milk, juice, etc. I see other kids chug down 8oz of milk but Oliver would never ever do that. He prefers water but only takes drinks here and there. He tends to nurse on me when he doesn't want to eat which can drive me nuts at times. I have been gulity of cooking or making several different things to try to get him to eat something. He is so small and I worry that he is starving himself. I know that I can not make him try something or eat his meal. We would sit at the table all day long. He can't be bribed either. I'm hoping he outgrows it soon.

[Mars]

Bad habits can start by offering more than one meal and I have been warned about it but I still do. If she's doesn't want something, I try her with something else. the good thing is that usually it is not anything that requires much preparation. It may be grilled cheese sandwiches, fruit, chicken nuggets or something that's quick to fix. I just feel better knowing that she's has something down. There are times when she just doesn't want anything and I accept that.

[ShannonMVT]

I guess I am a softy because I can't just have him be hungry. I also want him to sleep at night and he won't sleep as well if his tummy isn't full. If he flat out won't eat any of something b/c he doesn't like it, I will give him something else. I made him special enchiladas the other day (with no dairy) and he wouldn't eat them. There are meals that Dh and I eat that he just does not like. And meals that he CAN'T have b/c of the dairy. If he is refusing something he normally will eat I encourage him to eat it by saying he won't get his fruit until he eats some of whatever it is.
My backup food is just something I already have in the fridge like pasta or cut up avocado. This is mostly at dinner that I worry about it, breakfast or lunch I know he will usually make up for it at another meal but dinner I want him to be full enough to get him through the night.

[Mjp121212]

B's nutritionist also told me to always offer it to him regardless, even make him a plate of stuff he doesn't eat and set it out for him, even if he eats something else. That way he is always exposed to it. Even her girls were picky!

[Nami]

Chris often gets like that, though he's older so it might be more easy for us than you. When he doesn't eat his dinner we'll let him goto the kitchen and pick what he wants to eat before bed. For the most part it's a ketchup sandwich which isn't much but he seems fine with it.

Hope you find something that works for you.

[~* Helen *~]

Both mine are little eaters ... they very rarely clear the plate .... I refuse to make somethin else because they refuse it tho .. if they don't eat it then thats down to them

[soImarriedAnerd]

A lot of it has to do with age also....their taste buds are changing a ton at this point and many kids don't want anything that tastes bitter/sour because in nature those things are the poisonous things. At birth they have like some ridiculous amount (like 500 times more) taste buds than us!

[freesiangel]

Jessie, I always laugh when I see your FB/JM updates because it always seems like Xander and Jaxon are on the same page! Makes sense since they're the same age, though. lol.

Anyway, Xander is doing the EXACT same thing right now, only it is because he's getting in three teeth at once, one of which is a molar. Poor little guy. Even foods he loves he throws on the floor after one bite. I can tell it hurts. But I've been giving him extra whole milk to compensate for the time being.

That said, I used to offer extra foods if he didn't eat something I gave him when he was younger, but once he got to the age where he KNEW he could manipulate me I stopped. He's very big into control issue right now. Like you do, Xander gets a few different foods at each meal time and that's that - so I give him variety. If he doesn't eat it, he doesn't eat. He won't starve himself... But I still feel your pain - it is SO frustrating to make a child an awesome meal and then have him throw it all on the floor. Some days I'm lucky if I get him to eat two bites at each meal/snack of what I offer... One little trick I learned is to put a little blob of ranch dressing (or something to dip in) on the plate as well. I taught him to "dip dip" (I say "dip dip" when I showed him how to dip and when he dips it himself I excitedly say "dip dip!" and it seems to make him happy, ha, I'm a dork). For whatever reason he pretty much stopped eating meat besides some turkey deli meat, so I did this and suddenly he'll eat anything as long as he has that teaspoon of freakin' ranch dressing to dip it in. heh.

Trust me, I'm in the same boat as you and I KNOW how much this sucks... But just try and remind yourself that it will pass and just stick to your guns. The last thing we need to do is create a super picky eater.