[*krista*]

When Charlotte first started daycare I was heartbroken. I cried every day. Part of it was that it wasn't supposed to go down like that -- the original plan, and what I always wanted to do, was to be a sahm. It eventually got easier, but to this day I remain that clingy mom who takes thirty minutes or more to drop off her baby.

The daycare blues are coming back, though. Maybe i am being hormonal, maybe it is because we are approaching charlotte's first birthday, or maybe it is because Charlotte herself is going through a stage where she is very clingy. She has gotten to where she cries and crawls after me when I leave her. Once she crawled after me and stood at the door banging on the glass crying. Heartbreaking, especially since I want to be with her more than anything. This morning I was on the verge of tears again. Not because it was a bad morning. I was just thinking, by the time I finally get to stay home, my baby won't be a baby anymore. She will be approaching two! I'm missing so much. It doesn't help that I hate my job and loath the company I work for. I am in an office alone all day so you can imagine how much I just gaze at charlotte's picture missing her.

I might be whining, but I miss my angel.

[Resi]

I totally understand what it's like to have to work that first year. I hated it so much. I wanted to be with Oliver every minute of the day because I knew that first year would go so fast. Luckly I had my mom watching him or Damon so it made it a lot easier to leave him.

Now I think staying home with him at this age (started being a sahm when he was 14 months old) is perfect. I still wish I didn't have to leave him that first year but I think he needs me know more than that first year in away.

It doesn't help hating your job. I hated my old one too. Hang in there. Hopefully you will be a sahm soon.

[*krista*]

I was hoping you would respond, Resi; I know you went through exactly the same thing. I drive myself nuts looking at our finances over and over again trying to find a way I can stay at home, but there really is no way at least until the end of the year, and it is hard to resign myself to that.

There for a little while I was actually okay with it, mainly because that moment when I come home and she gets all excited to see me is priceless. But now that she is expressing so strongly that she doesn't want me to leave, I feel like she thinks I'm abandoning her. That's an awful feeling. I wish I had family nearby that could watch her! That would be so much better. But we don't.

Sorry to be Debbie Downer! It is easy for me to fall into this funk during the day while I'm at work.

[Resi]

I use to go over our fiances all the time too. We really couldn't afford for me to stay home but now that I watch a few kids we just make it. Now I have days when I think about how working was so much easier. Not that I would change it.

She is going through a stage. It will hopefully get easier on her again.

[Adriana's Mommy]

I just wanted to stop in and give you a

I'm a working mom too..

[Trannyfromtheuk]

I have no advice I just wanted to give you some hugs

[*krista*]

Thanks ladies.

[Mars]

Hang in there. Hopefully the days will pass quickly until you can become a SAHM.