[MissusF]

How did you deal with BFN's? This is our first month really trying and I don't have a good feeling about it. I think I O'd at a weird time or didn't O at all. I didn't temp this cycle so I can't confirm exactly what happened which I'm peeved about. I was really hopeful that this month would be it for us so we would be able to tell our families in person while we're home in August (we live on the other side of the country). I don't want to announce a pregnancy before 12 weeks, so if this month isn't it (and I have a feeling it won't be) then we'll have to tell them by phone I'm trying to stay positive and not think about it, but I have feeling if I see a BFN in 2 weeks I'm going to be heartbroken.

[Mars]

It's a hard place to be in and I don't think anything can really stop the disappointment of seeing a BFN.

I had a different approach when I came off the BCPs so it wasn't as hard for me. I chose not to do any real type of charting or temping, went with a NTNP method first and said I would never test unless AF was late. I found this worked for me but I know it's not your situation.

I hope it works out this cycle.

[~Caroline~]

It took us 20 months to conceive and sadly, it never got easier. I was heartbroken every month.

It's very normal to be disappointed if you don't get your bfp, but I believe the majority of couples don't get pregnant on the first try. I really hope you do get the result you want though, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

[*krista*]

I got a lot of bfns since we tried for a year last time. Some I took okay, some not so much. I think the first few I took relatively well, granted I was disappointed. But as time wore on they got harder to the point where I started to get jaded and didn't want to test anymore.

I think we spend so much time trying not to get pregnant that once we actually do get to the point where we are ready we are programmed to think it is easy -- that's what so many women take bcps for right? Well, it is heartbreaking if you are unfortunate enough to find out it isn't easy. But that is a different story and might not necessarily apply to you.

I think if you are hoping to get pregnant by a certain time for specific reasons bfns are more difficult than if you try to avoid setting those kinds of deadlines for yourself. My advice to any first time ttcer is to try not to take control of the situation (like I did the first time) because you can only control it to a certain point and then you are powerless -- you have to let fate or god or whatever you believe in handle the rest, you know? You might as well try to enjoy it at least in the beginning so as to make it less stressful on yourself. At least that was my experience -- I'm trying to take a much more relaxed approach to ttc this time, hopefully it will allow me to keep my sanity!

[Capns Girl]

BFN's can be hard. And I totally agree with Krista, its alot harder when you try to control the issue....

On a more positive note getting pregnant the first month does happen...just not as often as not getting pregnant the first go round. Good luck!

[*krista*]

Jessi is right! It could very well happen for you and goodness I hope it does! Try not to count yourself out just yet -- on the month I got pregnant with Charlotte I SWORE I wasn't pregnant to the point that dh insisted I take a test because he thought I was. I didn't believe the test when I saw it and scrambled around in my mountain of opks and pregnancy tests to find my digi. Dh walked in on me on the bathroom floor with my butt hanging out of the cabinet under the sink with random test flying out as I tore through them with shaking hands frantically looking for the digi, all the while rambling incoherently something to the effect of "I know it is under here some where, where did you put it you idiot why can't you ever find anything oh is this it son of a..."

[MissusF]

Thanks ladies! I needed the pick me up. We've been NTNP since January and I think I'm ready to get back into charting and start TTC 'for real' lol. For some reason I haven't had a problem seeing AF for the past few months but I really had my hopes set on May and if this month isn't it it's going to bother me. I know it's never good to set a time line for TTC, but it's so hard not to! I talked to DH and we're still going to keep things casual but I'm going to start charting and using OPKs again just to make sure we're timing things right. I've wanted to TTC for 7 years, so I think it's going to be REALLY hard to keep it casual. I'm gonna try tho!

Oh, and Krista I loved your story! I'm hoping the same thing will happen to me in two weeks, but I'm not getting my hopes up!

[*krista*]

I totally understand your need to take control of ttc. I was the exact same way. I just have to be careful because I can and did get obsessive, which was what really stressed me out. Heck I have to be really careful not to fall in to that same pattern of behavior this go around, although I know if I am ttc for any length of time again I probably will obsess again! It is so weird because in a way obsessing over it can be entertaining, but at the same time it can be tormenting.

Good luck, I hope to hear good news from you in a couple of weeks!

[MissusF]

Well, disregard all my venting because I got a yesterday Thank God TTC didn't take longer than one cycle because I really think I would have gone crazy! I'm just not cut out for it! But thanks again for all your kind words and advice.

[Nami]

It's always the months you you expect to see a BFN that you get your BFP.

[*krista*]

Omg wow!!!! I totally wasnt expecting that when I opened this thread! You are breaking protocol, you are supposed to post a bfp thread with a pic!

Congratulations!!!! How exciting!!! I'm going to go off and look at your new siggy thread because I have a Delong that might be your bfp announcement!

Eta: how does my phone get Delong out of feeling??? I'm too lazy to go through the edit thread process so I'm hoping if I post this fast enough it will just append it...