i'm just beyond bummed and throwing myself a major pity party

JJ and i had some major things going on in september, almost led to me asking him to leave and going back on BC. We had some major heart to hearts and decided to go ahead and TTC this month after working some things out. I know there's only like a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month anyway if you are actively trying but to be chopped out so early in the cycle when my period shouldn't have been due for nearly another week is what has me so depressed. I mean, i haven't had this short of a period is over 3 years so why this month did it have to happen of all months. Had my temp dropped in 5 days i would still be bummed but not taking it this hard. I really don't want to wait another whole year before trying again, i don't want 4 years between my children. this just blows on so many levels

sorry for the hijacking Sharron