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Feeling really bummed out tonight


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  #1  
November 2nd, 2007, 07:05 PM
Bre+Will=Reid
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I just.....am. I just know AF is coming. My body seems to do things to such extremes that I have a gut feeling that when I AM preggo, I will get an early BFP. To me, my negative HPT yesterday means that I'm just not pregnant this cycle, even though everyone says "it could be too early". Also, my chart looks like utter crap. What is going on with my temps, I don't know. I was sitting at work today and started getting waves of AF cramps, the kind I don't normally get until the heavy flow starts. I thought for sure that AF was going to come today, way too early. That would be just great, a short LP. UGH. I've also been irritable and emotional.....another sign that AF is on her way. I was such a b* to DH last night, everything he did was getting on my nerves!

Half of me is in denial. My VIP FF subscription is up in 10 days but I don't want to renew it yet in case I get my BFP. I need to get more OPKs but I don't want to order the IC ones online yet in case I am preggo. I have 4 days worth of prenatals left but I am holding out hoping that I get my BFP and my doc will write me a prescription. Ugh. Part of my brain wants to have hope and the other is OVER IT.

I really don't want to go onto cycle 4. I never thought it would take us this long. How selfish of me, right? So many other couples have gone though so much more and have been waiting so much longer than I have.
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  #2  
November 2nd, 2007, 07:11 PM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I understand. (((HUGS)))
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  #3  
November 2nd, 2007, 07:26 PM
Bre+Will=Reid
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I know you do I'm sorry that you do. What is going on with us huh? We are such beautiful ovulaters!
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  #4  
November 2nd, 2007, 09:55 PM
ShannonMVT's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Aw, I'm sorry Breanna. It sucks when it looks like everything is going so right with you ovulating and timing BD, only to be disappointed.
I'm sorry you think this won't be your month.

I've had a couple cycles where my chart was like yours (before I was TTC) and I really have no idea why.

I don't think it is selfish of you to want a quick BFP, I think everyone does. I know personally I will be really disappointed if I don't get one right away.


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  #5  
November 3rd, 2007, 05:33 AM
sara~b's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sorry Breanna! Have you thought about taking your charts and your concerns to your ob/gyn to put yourself at ease? Did you have a preconception check up? And remember, it's usually stress that gets in the way of TTC for healthy, young couples. Maybe you could just go back to enjoying love making and something might happen? Anyway, I'm sorry that you are feeling down. I have a feeling you'll get everything straightened out soon but until then....




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Sara, 27, married to Shane, 31, mom to Gemma, 6, and Ashlyn, born 8/7/10







Running for my health and sanity!
PR's: 5k-25:05 (old PR 25:10), 5M-45:03 (old PR - 47:22), 10k - 52:00 (approximate - training), HM-2:25:58 (ran a 2:17:36 during marathon), Full- 4:49:25 (old PR -5:49:40), 50k-7:05:56, 50M-13:31:14, 100k- 18:59:31 (old PR 20:56)
(All of these PR's are going down this season!)

My Pregnancy Chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6297
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  #6  
November 3rd, 2007, 05:52 AM
Oriyan's Avatar Platinum Superdupermommy
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*hugs* I know how you feel too. Now, dont get me wrong - i love seeing girls get BFPs their first cycle of trying. The majority of them arent expecting it, and its such a nice surprise to see them surprised. But then when I think -- Ok -- for the last 2-3 cycles, DBF has not pulled out around O time and im not pregnant it really depresses me. Granted, I am on BCPs now, but look at my chart! I Oed! My after O temps are ok! What gives!

I realized that things we always wants, only come when the time is ready. Because I believe that everything happens for a reason.

*hugs* We'll get our BFPs one day, maybe for christmas or the new year :-)
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July 22, 2009: Johnathan Jarrett is born! 10:41 am, 7lbs, 12oz, 21.5 inches

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  #7  
November 3rd, 2007, 07:44 AM
Bre+Will=Reid
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It is hard when so many of my online friends here get their BFP on the first try. Typical TTC woman...."why not me?"

Sara, thanks, we actually are taking a break from charting next cycle. We are going to just go with the flow, maybe that will help. Maybe I can get DH to actually BD on O day out of cure coinsidence. Ugh.
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  #8  
November 3rd, 2007, 10:30 AM
LadyCoconut's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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((((SUPER GIANT HUGE HUGS)))) I'm sorry you haven't gotten your Breanna! I can only imagine how devastating it is each month when shows or you see a BFFN. It has to be especially frustrating to know your body is doing exactly what it should be, and you're timing bd right... and still nothing. Don't feel guilty or selfish for wanting it to happen quickly. That's natural. Don't let the girls who've sadly had to wait so long make you feel bad for hoping that isn't the case for yourself, b/c no one wants that. I hope you're wrong this cycle.
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  #9  
November 3rd, 2007, 10:54 AM
~Jess~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
*hugs* I know how you feel too. Now, dont get me wrong - i love seeing girls get BFPs their first cycle of trying. The majority of them arent expecting it, and its such a nice surprise to see them surprised. But then when I think -- Ok -- for the last 2-3 cycles, DBF has not pulled out around O time and im not pregnant it really depresses me. Granted, I am on BCPs now, but look at my chart! I Oed! My after O temps are ok! What gives!

I realized that things we always wants, only come when the time is ready. Because I believe that everything happens for a reason.

*hugs* We'll get our BFPs one day, maybe for christmas or the new year :-)[/b]
Preventing ovulation is only 1 way that the pill works. It also thickens mucous making it difficult for spermies to swim in (causing them to die off within a couple of hours), and prevents implantation should conception occur. So even if you conceived, most likely you would have an early miscarriage due to the pill. If that bothers you, then you may want to find a stronger pill that prevents you from ovulating altogether.

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  #10  
November 3rd, 2007, 10:56 AM
*Fiona*
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Oh Bre ((((hugs))))

I know what you mean... this is DH & I's first official cycle... we BD too late (I think) and as much as I try not to get my hopes up, at the same time I'm kinda *expecting* to get preggo first try... it's not gonna happen and I'm a fool to think it, but it's like you say, you just can't help it huh?

Your symptoms sound promising?! Try not to lose hope just yet xxx
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  #11  
November 3rd, 2007, 11:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Aww Breanna don't be sad! I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that means that when you DO have that beautiful baby, you will realize that no other baby would do and she/he was waiting for the perfect moment. I know how you feel though, we have been trying since August as well and i'm starting to wonder if maybe my TR didn't really work that well. Maybe, because I did this to myself, i'm being punished. Maybe I went through it all for nothing, I cannot ever imagine doing IVF, maybe my DH will never be a Daddy and it's all my fault.

As far as feeling guilty because others have been waiting longer...don't. It's natural to be in the "now" of things. Right 'now' you haven't(so far as you know yet)gotten PG. It may be more pronounced in those who have waited years for their BFPs, but all of us who don't conceive on the first go round have the "What if I'll NEVER have a baby?" thought in our head, and it's enough to drive anyone to tears. I think next cycle we will use Instead Softcups, I have heard it can raise your chances significantly so hey, maybe i'll throw in some acupuncture too. In the meantime i've started cooking again, a little hobby of mine that I put (pardon the pun) on the backburner back when we were remodeling our kitchen. Maybe you could find a new hobby? Scrapbooking is awesome and youre gonna wanna be in practice to make beautiful pages when you DO have that baby!
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  #12  
November 3rd, 2007, 04:37 PM
Bre+Will=Reid
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Thanks you guys I still feel like AF is coming, but nothing yet. No spotting or anything (and DH and I even BDed this morning which has caused me to start spotting sooner, or I just noticed it sooner). Hey, even if I'm not preggo, any day without AF is a good day!

Melissa, your chart is looking great this cycle! You got some great BDing in! Hopefully this is it for you Remember, your doctors said that everything is clear in those tubes, have faith that it's true! You WILL make DH a daddy, hopefully sooner rather than later!

Funny that you mentioned scrapbooking! I don't think I will get into that, but I recently bought a really nice, fancy photo album and today I went into my photobucket account and ordered over 140 prints. I realized that all of my pics are online, I hardly have any physical ones. I think I will have fun getting that all organized.
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  #13  
November 6th, 2007, 06:23 PM
Mama To 3 Amazing Boys
Join Date: Apr 2006
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Oh Breanna! I'm sorry! I remember when I took my first HPT with this baby and I remember going to Walmart to get First Response with DH and I remember telling him in the car "I'm happy that we could be having a baby, but I feel bad because Breanna has been trying since August and I just announced that we're trying and all of a sudden I'm pregnant. I feel really guilty that she's been trying longer and here I am feritle murtle...I feel like I'm busting her bubble." I'm totally pulling for you!! I really hope you get your BFP soon because you deserve it. You're going to be such a great mom.
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  #14  
November 8th, 2007, 06:34 PM
Bre+Will=Reid
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Oh Brandi, I just now saw this! I'll admit, I get this sinking feeling in my heart when I see everyone else's BFP, especially those on the first try.....but trust me, I am truly, truly happy for you ALL! It's not a sinking feeling of "ugh, why her?!" it's more of a, "I want that too!" I am just sad that I'm not experiencing it with you. I want to join in on your fun, you know? I just wish that I could have been one of the lucky ones to conceive on the first try, or even second. Even third....! Here I am on cycle 4, and I'm just really sad about that. It's harder than I expected and I'm glad that you didn't have to go through it. I'm glad that you have been blessed enough with a little belly bean! You deserve it, you all do!
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  #15  
November 8th, 2007, 06:43 PM
Alison81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: New York
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Aww, Breanna, it will happen, and when it does, you will say, I cannot imagine more perfect timing! I know it's hard to believe, but that's how you will feel. And I bet you will even say, that didn't take that long!

I am definitely a fertile myrtle, but I have gotten pregnant just from using a diaphragm, from a condom breaking, and from being on the pill, but there are also plenty of times Dom and I were not careful AT ALL, and nothing happened. It all depends, and the good thing is, you are ovulating, and your charts look great to me, so I'm sure it will be soon for you, hang in there....I know, easier said than done!!
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