this was a long, drawn out process so if you make it to the end of this...thank you
i went into this hoping for a v-bac and an all natural birth with no pain meds.
it started on saturday, april 26th. after dtd, contractions started up right afterwards. they were 3 to 5 minutes apart and i thought they were getting pretty strong. i had no idea what was ahead in the pain department!! after 3 hours of contracting like this, we went into l&d. they confirmed i was in labor and asked me to walk the halls for 2 hours because i was only dilated to 1cm and 60% effaced. after walking and walking and walking some more, i had no progress at all yet the contractions were getting worse. so, they sent me home and i was devastated. i thought for sure that i'd be having this baby at home or on the way to the hospital. the contractions continued until about 1am. by then, i was so exhausted after all this pain and balling my eyes out cuz i couldn't understand why they sent me home, i just passed out and the contractions pretty much stopped. of course, the next day, they started up again and went away by 10pm. this continued the entire next week. i continued to work in hopes that it would start something up. every night after work, i'd have regular contractions for about 4 to 5 hours and then they'd just stop. by the end of the week i was so exhausted and frustrated.
on saturday, may 3rd at about 2pm, we dtd again in hopes that it would start things up. and my goodness it did! and this time, it was the real thing FINALLY! within 20 minutes, i was contracting again. i didn't want to get my hopes up, though. by 5pm, the contractions were 5 to 3 minutes apart so i decided we should get the last minute things ready for the hospital. once i stood up, they got extremely intense and were every minute and a half. i couldn't walk, talk, think...nothing. just lean forward onto something and breath...trying not to scream. IT WAS TIME! so we headed to the hospital.
my mom met us there and picked up amaya. when they checked me, i was 3cm dilated and 70% effaced. i was already in what i considered to be pretty intense pain(haha. if only i knew the pain that was to come!) . they admitted me, hooked up the iv cuz i was strep b positive and got the monitors on me. when i talked to my doc about being hooked up to the monitors and everything because of the v-bac, he said i'd still be able to move around and get in the tub. what a shocker...once i got there, they wouldn't let me out of bed except to go to the bathroom. i was FURIOUS! how can i have a natural birth without being able to move?! but i couldn't control this so i tried to make the best of it. i stayed very positive and everything was fabulous until (forgive me i don't remember the exact times during this stage. too much pain!) they broke my water. once they broke my water, all hell broke loose! by this time, i was 5cm dilated and wasn't going too far fast. i got some pain med that wasn't an epidural. i got that the 3 times they allowed it and then i gave in. the pain was so excruciating that i was shaking uncontrollably. i couldn't even think and i was only 5cm dilated. so i figured there was no other choice and got the epidural. if i could've gone in the bath, maybe it would've helped but i couldn't move. i was done. at exactly 2am (after very close to 12 hours of continuous labor...not including the week before lol), the anesthesiologist came in (what an *****!!) and gave me the epidural. of course i had 2 extremely intense contractions while he was trying to put it in. so i was going through those and feeling CRUNCH CRUNCH, POP POP in my back and couldn't stop shaking. he yelled and me and asked if i was acting like that cuz of him or the contractions. i couldn't help but cry and say "BOTH!!!" why in the hell would you stick a needle in a woman's back when she's screaming in pain from a contraction and expect her to stay still?! eventually it was done and the pain was gone. then the even worse shaking began. i looked like i was going to have a seizure. the nurse said it was from the contractions and the adrenaline. my goodness was it nuts! eventually i was able to somewhat calm down and fall asleep. i needed my rest for the hours to come. i slept on and off from about 3:30 until 8am. they had to keep turning my epidural off because i was getting too numb from it. my hands went tingly and my head got all messed up. even the anesthesiologist couldn't understand why it was happening. he said that i get a lot of 'bang for my buck' with the meds lol. so, at 8:30am, i woke up kyle and it was time to push. i was 10cm dilated and ready to go finally!!!! my doc told me he expected me to push for 2 hours and i thought he was nuts!! if only i wasn't so naive.
the hardest thing about pushing was that i was completely numb down there! no feeling what so ever. so how the hell do you know where to push?! they said i was doing a great job but i felt like i wasn't getting anywhere at all. my face felt like it was going to explode. i thought i couldn't possibly be pushing right cuz you shouldn't feel it in your face but the nurse said it was right. ugh! so i pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed some more. the only people in the room were me, kyle and the one nurse. kyle held one leg and the nurse held the other. it was amazing having kyle right there like that and i could tell there's no where else he would've wanted to be. he completely shocked me! i didn't think he'd look down there but he did! he watched with each push and encouraged me. it really helped having him telling me how far i was getting. though i didn't believe i was getting anywhere, it was still nice to hear. after 2 hours, i felt SO discouraged i couldn't help but cry. i said "are you SURE he can fit through there?!?!" they said yes so i figured i should believe them and kept pushing. at about 11am, the nurse asked me if i wanted to feel my baby's head.
really?!?! so i felt down there and sure enough, there was a lil head poking out and i could feel his hair!!!!
i really WAS getting somewhere!!! that really got me going! so 30 more minutes of pushing and then the nurse said "OMG! STOP!!! DON'T PUSH!!! HE'S COMING ON HIS OWN!" it wasn't during a contraction and i remembered someone mentioning something about 'breathing the baby out' so i tried it. and gosh darn it, it worked! he just came right out!
if only i'd thought about that sooner! well, he stopped just in time so the doc could get in there to catch him
with one more push, he was out. HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF!! i BURST into tears. FINALLY!!! i couldn't control the crying. after 19 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, it was over! i was SO happy and so...just...everything all at once. you can't describe it. i'm crying as i type it cuz it was just so amazing! after 10 months of carrying this baby. 10 months of worrying. 10 months of feeling him in there. everything with my brother...knowing he had a hand in this. knowing he was FINALLY here. he's finally out. after all that work, pain, everything, he's here and he's mine
i actually did it! it's too amazing for words. kyle cut the cord and they immediately gave him and i skin to skin contact. it was amazing! they stitched me up and i got to hold him the whole time. i'd say for probably 20 to 30 minutes, i got to hold him on my belly. what a change from having a c-section!!! such a different experience!! i did tear. they didn't tell me how much but kyle said it looked like about an inch or an inch and a half. so, not too bad. ethan was absolutely perfect. then when they went to move him, the picked up the blanket that was on top of him and i and guess what...he POOPED all over me. and i mean ALL over me! LMAO!!!! i guess it covered my entire belly but i didn't care. all i could do was laugh. what a lil stinker!! first thing he does to me is poop on me. haha!!
so, that's about it for a birth story.
i wasn't able to have a natrual (pain med-free birth) but i did get my v-bac!
also, when i was laying in bed, trying to sleep (after they gave me the epidural), i was completely covered up with a blanket. i kept feeling this cold air brush my feet. i, also, had a few times that i thought i saw someone by the foot of my bed but when i looked no one was there. in my heart, i feel it was my brother
even if there is some medical explication, i still like to believe it was him
amaya is great with him! she's such a great big sister!!! she constantly wants to help and hold him. i couldn't ask for her to be better. well, unless i could get her to talk quieter
ethan david
8 pounds 5 oz
20 inches long
born at 11:41am
may 4th, 2008
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