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My little one was due on May 19th, so by the time it got to the following Saturday I was BEGGING her to come out. My feet and ankles and legs were so swollen the only thing fit me was my husband floppy old slippers, I wasnít sleeping anymore since I was always getting up to use the bathroom or to eat, and I was just DONE! So in this frame of mind, I was sitting in the kitchen when all of a sudden I felt a gush of water. I thought that my bladder had betrayed me yet again, but then I felt a contraction. I rant o the back door to call DH in from the barn, and then it happened, the water REALLY broke, and gushed out of my in a torrent. There was no mistaking what it was but to be sure, I checked and it smelled sweet. Finally, some progress, YAY! This was at 10:45 PM on Saturday.
Mike helped me into the house and I continued to leak as I went. He ran and got a bath towel and shoved it between my legs, but I soaked that, and then another. It was unbelievable. Finally he got me cleaned up and I sat on the coach on a pile of towels over some plastic. The contractions were coming regularly and we timed them, about 8 mins apart. They speeded up and got more painful, I went in to lie down and try to get some sleep. We wanted to stay at home as long as possible. Mike called my parents and they began the 4-hour trek from Buffalo.
I labored at home for 7 hours, we left for the hospital just after my parents arrived, by then they were about every 4 mins and painful. Got to the hospital, got the golden ticket for admission because my water broke, and had my first internal. Not too bad, but only dilated to a 2. Bummer. I labored another hour or so. Still a 2. By this point I havenít slept in over 24 hours. Very tired. Another hour and only just pushing a scant three. Beyond frustrated. The nurse calls my Dr. and he wants to start pitocin. I say no, fearing that it will make the contractions so painful that I wonít be able to have a natural birth. I started nipple stimulation and we got the contrax to pick up, but the nurses kept coming in and interrupting every time I had just gotten into a ďflowĒ with labor, and I would lose the momentum again. I am crying, DH is frustrated, my mom is doing her best to keep things calm. I am saying Hail Maryís and praying that this will get better. My mom says the Memorare with me. BY 10PM I am spent, and agree to the pitocin, and to an antibiotic IV, just in case we got an infection with the water having broken. I slowly start to dilate. They up the pitocin to a 2. I am rocked out on pain but not really making much progress, I am so tired. My Dad keeps bringing me juice from the cafeteria, the sugar keeps me going. They wonít let me walk around for fear of a cord prolapse, so my only escape from that hellish bed is to get up to use the bathroom. That involves unplugging the monitors and dragging the Iv along, but I donít care. Even though it hurts to move at least it is something different. Around midnight my mom takes a break and DH lays behind me in the bed and rubs my back. It hurts so bad that I am moaning like an animal. The contractions speed up when they up the pit to a 3. I have been in labor for about 24 hours and my eyes are rolling back in my head, I canít support the weight of my head and it lolls like a newborns. My mom holds me in her arms and rocks me through each contraction I cling to her as she is my only anchor in this sea of pain. Mike tries to help but he just doesnít know how, so he just keeps telling me encouraging things. I canít focus my eyes well but keep seeing his face floating before it and me makes me feel better. I am too tired to breathe right, and am struggling to stay focused. I finally hit 7 cm. Suddenly the nurse gets frantic, calls her super, slaps an oxygen mask on my face and starts rolling me from side to side. Everyone is talking at once. I keep asking whatís going on. No one answers, they just keep rolling me. Finally someone tells me LOís heart rate is dropping. I am beside myself, this canít be happening. They finally get it back to normal, and I am dilated to a 9. She dropped super fast during that scare, thank God, because it bought me two cms, only 1 to go. The last one is awful, the pressure is unbelievable, all I want to do is push, but I canít yet. I beg her for another internal, and get the green light to push. I am beyond tired, but canít believe that I am finally fully dilated. My baby is almost here. They call my Dr, he heads in. the nurse tells me how to push, but I am so tired I donít trust my own instincts. I check with her each time before I push to make sure Iím right, I donít have enough energy to waste on nonproductive pushes. Mom is on one leg, mike on the other. I push for 3 counts of 10 each contraction. They tell me they can see the head. My Dr comes in, then goes. In between pushes I am begging them to just let me sleep. I push, and I push. They tell me they see hair. The pressure is beyond amazing, I feel as if my body is breaking in half. The Dr comes in and they shine a huge light on me. By this time I am stark naked and I couldnít care less if they sell tickets. All I am focused on is getting her born. They tell me sheís almost out, the Dr tells me to stop for a bit, he needs to try massage, my perineum is too wide and it will tear. That massage hurts unbelievably. He tries, but tells me he will need to cut me. I say ok. I push, but softer, and feel a burning shooting mass of pain, then two quick slithers, and she is born. It is 4:12; I have been in drug free labor for 28 hours. My mom is crying, DH is stunned. They set her on my chest, I am so tired I can hardly see her, they have to hold my head still, it is bobbing like a newborns. I see a very serious, very red little face looking right into my eyes. She is beautiful. Mike cuts the cord, my placenta is delivered, and they whisk her away and start stitching my up. I tore in addition to being cut. I start to violently shake, DH is totally freaked out but they assure him its ok. Somebody gets my dad and he meets his first granddaughter. They bring her back to me, mom holds her to my breast and she latches instantly. I donít even have the strength to hold her. I pass out. I finally come back around to find myself all cleaned up and the room cleaned, my family around me. Apparently I was awake but I donít remember any of it. I have been up for over 48 hours with no sleep. But I finally get to actually hold my daughter, my Eleanor Rose. One look at her, and it was worth it. She is perfect, and she fits perfectly in my arms.
My birth wasnít as I expected, but I did make it through 28 hours of labor without pain meds, of that I am proud. I wish I had started the pit earlier, but I really was afraid I would lose control and need meds if I did. Now I know better. I never ever want to feel the kind of panic again that I felt when her heart rate dropped. My world seemed to be ending. I was in a lot of pain the first week, but am better now, and the whole ordeal seems very distant, like a dream. I love my new little one, she is a joy and a delight, and I donít know how I ever lived without her. My relationship with my mom has gotten so much deeper since labor, we have always been close but it bonded us in an unbelievable way. I feel bad that dh couldnít do more, he worked so hard during my pregnancy to learn about labor and was really gung ho to be my coach, but it got away from us and left him feeling very confused and helpless. He was terrified that he would lose both the baby and me; the man really went through hell. I liked having him there, but this really made me realize that birth is in the realm of women, and although husbands try like hell, they canít really understand it like another woman can. hopefully someday I will hold my little girl when she labors, helping the one I birthed birth her own, as my mother helped me.
I'm not in your PR but I have to tell you I think she is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen! Congrats! And great job with labor, mama, my hat's off to you! I did 17 hrs with only a small dose of Nubain during transition and I can't imagine going 11 more plus pitocin! You rock!
Sara's beautiful children: Cassidy (5y) and Joel (3y 4m) and Timothy (almost 8 months)
Yes, I know I need a new picture .
What a beautiful daughter you have!!! I love her name! I am so proud of you for making it 28 hours with no pain meds!!! I am also happy your parents, as well as your hubby shared your birth experience with you!!! Congrats!!!