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I will be quick, typing 1 handed while pumping with the other and rocking him with my foot
Lawrence Graham was born November 3rd at 7:57 pm. He was 7lbs and almost 19 inches. We still don’t know if he has PKU. He had jaundice and ended up having to be readmitted to the NICU for nearly 24 hours for UV light treatment to try to get better. It was a really long hard week.
My labour was not what I expected. My waters started leaking on Saturday I think. It was only a little bit so I wasn’t sure that is what I was. Larry and I slipped in to the hospital just to get it checked Sunday afternoon and they came back saying I was going to my delivery room. They put me on a IV to help contractions come better but by 8am (overnight) nothing happened they kept upping the IV and my favourite doctor came in at 11am to check me. He knew after all the IVs I didn’t want to go home so he broke my water. Contractions started being stronger within 5 mins and they kept me on the IV. By 1pm I had gone from 2-4cm. Contractions were starting to get pretty painful. They were all in my back because LJ was posterior (looking face-up) the anaesthesiologist was already up on our floor so I got my epi, they had to do it twice, but I was in so much pain I couldn’t talk or breathe, I didn’t care. I started feeling better, I didn’t feel any pain. Next time I was checked at 3pm I think I was 8cm, then all of a sudden I was 10.
The nurse was super sweet Larry and I loved her and she was there right when we were admitted, before her shift changed, so when she found out that I hadn’t had him she insisted on being our nurse again the next day. She didn’t want me to start pushing until I REALLY felt it so I didn’t end up doing it for 2 hours. Then we discovered that he was turned the wrong way. If I couldn’t get him spun facedown I would have ended up with a C section. He lodged himself in a really bad spot and the epi felt like it just stopped working. I had pain so bad in my lower left back and my front lower left abdomen so bad i could barely push. I had to push for over an hour to turn him, then another hour to get him out. Hardest thing ever. I had people holding my legs, Larry holding me up sitting from behind and at some point he just came out.
Everyone told me that he was crying but there were like 10 people in the room and I couldn’t hear it. Then they put him on my and I couldn’t open my eyes to look at him. They took him to weigh him and such and Larry went with them. He was taking videos and pictures so that I could see later. Then I got a throat swab up my butt before I could ask what the hell that was. Doctor says oh it is mandatory to do a ________ whatever and I said that’s fine next time can you warn me? Then next thing I know I feel thread being pulled tight. I never heard anyone tell me I had torn. They were stitching me without telling me. Wow it still stung. I look down later and I notice the med student with the needle and the doctor talking. Got to mom & baby side at midnight. Watched first bath, slept. Larry went home and was back in 3 hours.
I started losing stitches Tuesday afternoon, and just before my parents came to visit I noticed LJ was looking very yellow. So after they left the nurse took him for blood. His levels were on the high side. Wednesday was when we were allowed to go home. I had lost a lot of my stitches, was bleeding a lot and in a hell of a lot of pain but we were excited to go home. The only condition was that we would have to bring him back to the hospital Thursday morning for one last test to make sure that he is ok. I was talking to the nurse during the day and she said that if on the off chance that LJ had to be admitted again that I would be admitted to and could stay with him, that mommy and baby were a unit. So I was feeling good about it, about being able to stay and not being without him. We saw the doctor just before we left and she said that he was looking not too bad and she said that it would be highly unlikely that he would have to be admitted.
So we go home and were so happy! We bring him back the next day and they said that his levels were too high they needed to keep him, so I asked about being readmitted to stay with him and the nurse said that was not what happened. That LJ would be admitted to the NICU to be taken care of. Once they found out that I was trying to breastfeed they said that I would be allowed to visit every 3 hours to breastfeed him, they would also be giving him formula to supplement him.
We get to the NICU and they strip him down and cover his eyes and throw him under the UV light. The thought of leaving him killed me, I burst into tears and felt horrible. I felt lied to by the nurse the previous day that said I would be with him all the time, and the doctor that said he was fine it was just a precaution. On top of how traumatic the labour and delivery was this was too much. One of the nurses took pity on me and found a room with 2 beds so that I could spend the night and come in every 3 hours to feed him though I wasn’t a patient and didn’t have food service or nurse care. Larry took me out for dinner nearby and then dropped me off to spend the night in the hospital. I was miserable and it was a long night. I would breastfeed for 20-30mins, bottle feed then pump for another 30 mins.
In the morning I was in so much pain “down there” that I asked the nurses what I should do, I had lost 8-10 pieces of stitches, it stung and was bleeding and I could barely walk or sit still. They said that because I wasn’t an admitted patient they couldn’t help but that I should go to the ER. So I put my name in down there, went up and fed the baby came back down and was seen by a doctor who said that the person that did my stitches didn’t tie off right so they unravelled and I only had one stitch left. He couldn’t do much to help but gave me a gel that should help numb the pain.
I was back in time for a feeding but because I hadn’t called Larry after the ER he had come back to the hospital to feed him, it was a great surprise to have him come back. When we got there they had taken him off the lights and were waiting for the afternoon to see what his levels were. They came back having dropped a little without the light, we were thrilled and finally the doctor called and said we could take him home.
My skin crawled when she said she wanted us to bring him in Saturday morning to do one last test, she was sure he was fine but just wanted to be sure. So once again we took him home and brought him back the next day. The test results were only supposed to take an hour and it took 3. They came out and told us his levels “shot back up” and we had to wait for a half and hour for the doctor to call back and decide what was to be done. I burst back into tears again. I kept thinking stop telling me that I can take my baby home and make me give him back the next day!!!!
Larry was realy good. He understood how hard it all was for me and was very supportive. He tried really hard to cheer me up and was a rock for me. After a really long wait they said we could still take him home and continue with forced feedings every 3 hours and extra supplementation.