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I will start by saying that I was due on December 27th with Claire, but I always had a gut feeling that I would have her on the 13th. I had her at 1:55am on the 14th.
The morning of December 13th I woke up and did not feel good at all. I thought that maybe I was about to go into labor because I had been having false labor all week long as well. I went through the whole day not feeling well and just laying on the couch, I tried going on a walk thinking it would kickstart something, but nothing other than the random ctrx I had been having all week. By 7:00pm I had noticed that I hadn't felt her move all day long. I called into the L&D and they said I could come in to be monitored. DH and I decided to wait until her normal time of really moving which was around 9:00pm. Well, that time rolled around and still no movement. By this time the nurse had also called back and said that she didn't normally do this, but felt a strong urge to have me come in and be monitored. So, around 11:00pm we had my parents at our house to watch Carter and we went in just praying for a heartbeat.
We got to the hospital and they hooked me up and we heard the heartbeat right away-RELIEF! They decided to monitor me for a while to see if they could get any movement on the monitor since I wasn't feeling anything still. After about 45 minutes there was no movements and they saw that I had a few ctrx where her heartrate dropped each time. They called in my dr. he came and tried to get baby to respond and move. He said that it could be nothing but he had that strong feeling as well that maybe we should get her out of there and he didn't want to induce me because of her heart rate dropping with each contraction. I was so sad because I did not want a c-section, but we felt like it was best since we didn't know what was going on.
They took me down to the surgery room and I got the spinal along with the shakes. It was terrible to feel like I had no control of my body. My dr. just kept confirming to me that she was going to come out and probably be just fine, but this was precaution. At 1:55am they pulled out my very white and very limp baby. It was the scariest sight I have ever seen. They didn't know what was wrong so I didn't even get a chance to look at her because they started working on her right away. I kept trying to look back and see what they were doing as DH tried to keep my calm. I remember thinking to myself- She is alive, I just heard her heartbeat, she HAS to be alive-. As each minute passed by I waited and waited to hear the newborn scream, but there was nothing. DH said the pedictrician continued working on her and they all kept looking at the clock and he had this dreaded feeling they were going to call time of death. Finally 15 minutes later we hear a very weak, but audible baby cry. I think I was in too much shock to cry because I just laid there and kept asking DH if he could see her and if she was moving. I could tell he was concerned by just looking in his eyes. After they got her breathing they whisked her off to continue doing tests to figure out what was wrong. My dr said my placenta was healthy, he didn't see any meconium, or anything out of the ordinary. In 16 years he had never seen anything like this.
As they were stitching me up they came in looking for the umbilical cord because they needed more blood. They had discovered that she had a hemoglobin of 3.6 and in a normal baby it is supposed to be around 14! She was severly anemic somehow. They were amazed that she was alive and that her body wasn't even in shock from the huge loss of blood. They took me back to my room and DH came in and that is when I broke down and cried and cried and cried, by this time it was around 2:30 or 3am and both of my in-laws and my mom were at the hospital. When they came into the room I remember the look on their faces and I just kept saying, What did I do wrong? What did I do?
The pedicatrician came in and said that they were going to have to take Claire to the hospital an hour away with the best NICU so she could get blood transfusions as well as all the other treatment she needed. I still had not even seen my baby at this point. They said that she was stable and they would be able to bring her in for a couple minutes before they flew her out. They came back in shortly after that and said that it was to windy and the helicopter would not be able to fly so they were having to drive the ambulance all the way here to pick her up and then drive her back. It felt like forever before they brought my baby girl in shortly before they were about to leave, she was beautiful despite all of the tubes and how bad she was probably feeling. The NICU nurse came in and gave me all the information I would need on how to contact the nurse, drs, etc at the NICU while I was still in the hospital as well as how to store my breastmilk. I thought they were very accomodating despite the circumstances. DH followed the ambulance along with his mom and my mom went back to stay with Carter, I was all alone. I spent a lot of time thinking to myself and praying. Where was my baby? Why God had this happened? I didn't sleep much that night and I called continually to check up on my baby.
My dr came in and said that if I was feeling up to it he would let me go on Monday (I had just had my c-section on Sunday morning) if I promised to just let everyone wheelchair me around and not to be on my feet. He understood I would much rather be with my baby instead of stuck at the hospital.
Finally Monday night 1 1/2 days after having Claire, I met and got to hold my precious girl. It was a relief after what had all just happened to be holding my baby and she was ALIVE.
They eventually found out that I had a really rare thing happen called Spontaneous Fetal Maternal Hemmorage. My dr said he had to pull out all his medical books to find out what it was because he had never seen it before. They tell me that it was just a random thing that happened and it was nothing that I did, but it is still hard to tell yourself that you did everything right when something wrong happens to your baby that you have been carrying for 9 months. What happened was, a blood vessel in the placenta had ruptured and all of her blood was going into me. 6% of my blood when they tested me was Claire's blood. Since I am O negative I normally have to get a shot called Rhogham during pregnancy. If the baby loses any blood during the pregnancy you normally have to get one or two shots extra. I had to get 10 extra doses because of how much blood I had in me! When they gave me those extra doses they even said they had to keep checking because they had never given this much before. Well, they gave me all 10 doses through an IV all at once within 20 minutes. They didn't even keep me to watch for any side effects. We went to the cafeteria to eat and I just started getting really cold and then started shivering and it got worse until I was having convulsions. Luckily we were still at the hospital, Scott had to rush me to the ER. They gave me a shot to calm everything down and then decided that I had a reaction to the rhogham. I was fine after that though.
Needless to say after two days Claire started having seizures at the hospital (we now think it was just because she was so severly anemic at birth). It was just another blow with everything else she was struggling with. She was put on phenobarbital for the first 3 months of her life, which made her sleep alot so that her brain could "heal". They said that when a body loses as much blood as she did the blood that is left goes to the brain and heart to protect those, so everything else starts shutting down. We stayed at the local Ronald McDonald house (I will never look at those boxes and not give money ever again!) during our time there and it was very nice. We spent Christmas there, which was very difficult for me, because it was a reality of what all was really going on. It took three weeks to get her eating the amount that a normal newborn eats because her intestines had "gone to sleep" because of the lack of blood and we had to wake them back up. The drs gave us some very grave news as they said that Claire may always be on a feeding tube for her whole life, she may not do much, etc, etc. It was almost too much to take but we had a strong faith that God has a plan for her life and we had so many people praying for her. We came home on December 30th, just in time to start the new year as a family at home. She is now the girl that she is because of those prayers. Mentally she is a normal 7 month old, physically she is behind (more like a 4 month old), but with time she will catch up. She has a physical therapist who is working with her as well as TONS of drs continually checking up on her. Even the drs say she is a miracle and they are amazed, that she is breastfeeding, rolling around, eating solids and doing most everything that a 7 month old who was born without any difficulties would be doing! My question that I asked God, Why did this happen? Is answered everyday when I look at this beautiful miracle that he has given us, and it makes us that much more grateful.
Thanks Rachel for the awesome siggy!
Last edited by vrock; July 20th, 2009 at 08:54 PM.