[Twhylite21]

I posted on my FB, but today Lily made a comment while watching Ni Hao, Kai-Lan about being Asian. She knows that she is mainly Asian (the girls are 3/4 Korean and 1/4 Caucasian), mainly because DH told her once when she asked why we speak both English and Korean. She can look at people and tell if they're Caucasian, Asian, etc (she just does it on her own, we've never been like "look, there's an Asian" :lol).

Anyway, my stepdad is 100% Caucasian and he got really upset because Lily was listing everyone who is Asian like Kai-lan, and then she said "but Grandpa isn't Asian". He thinks that we shouldn't let her list people on her own, etc because she shouldn't be differentiating based on ethnicity, etc. I mean, yeah it'd be nice if everyone didn't recognize race/ethnicity, but it's kinda obvious that Lily looks like certain people and not like others, so I feel like of course she's going to notice that.

Do you think it's bad that she notices? It's not like she thinks that the Asian group is better or anything like that, she just comments that some people aren't Asian, or she'll say "Grandma isn't Caucasian", etc. I don't even know how to stop her from doing it, since she started doing it on her own.

ETA: So, I also asked a few of my IRL mom friends about this and one sent me this article Even Babies Discriminate: A NurtureShock Excerpt. - The Daily Beast. It's an interesting read if anyone is curious. Basically, studies show that kids that talk about different races more are actually more accepting to other races. Those that don't talk about differences in skin color, etc actually tend to have less diverse friends, etc. So, now I feel better

[~Michele~]

it is normal. Elliot at 4 yelled in walmart, hey that lady is Chinese. Kind of embarrassing but normal. the other day he mentioned something about light skin. there is one black girl in his class and he said something like "I am glad I have light skin, people can see me better during the day" he was not trying to be rude and I didn't have time to talk about it right there since he was walking into school but I think we will have to find a good book about it.

[~Michele~]

it is normal. Elliot at 4 yelled in walmart, hey that lady is Chinese. Kind of embarrassing but normal. the other day he mentioned something about light skin. there is one black girl in his class and he said something like "I am glad I have light skin, people can see me better during the day" he was not trying to be rude and I didn't have time to talk about it right there since he was walking into school but I think we will have to find a good book about it. i don't think it is bad

[jewelybug]

I don't think it's bad as long as she is not being rude about it. Abby doesn't notice (or at least doesn't say) anything about different ethnicities yet.

[Twhylite21]

Originally Posted by jewelybug

I don't think it's bad as long as she is not being rude about it. Abby doesn't notice (or at least doesn't say) anything about different ethnicities yet.

Yeah, she's never said it in public about anyone or anything like that. Just at home and usually when she sees someone Asian on TV or something.

[kll074]

Totally normal and totally innocent. I don't think it is any different than children noticing that people are tall/short, or fat/skinny. Kaitlin loves to talk about eye color and she knows that I have blue eyes and her, DH & Kendall have brown eyes. She also lists people she knows with blue eyes. I think it is great that Lily can differentiate. When she goes to school she will be expected to sort objects by different attributes....obviously she will have no difficulty with this at all!

On a side note, when I used to watch Jon & Kate Plus 8 the children would often discuss who was the 'most' asian looking. I always thought it was very innocent.

[LisaB]

I agree, it's totally innocent, and normal. And observant! As long as she's not attaching any stereotypes to her differentiation I see no issue.

[doremi]

I agree with everyone else, it is totally normal. I remember when Josiah was about two, we were at my Mom's house, and she had some workmen painting her house. Josiah was in a happy mood, smiling and playing, but every time he saw one of the workers, he clammed up and looked frightened. I finally put two and two together and realized he had never been around Mexican men before, and he was freaked out by how different they looked from all the men he did spend a lot of time with! So, yes... even little ones recognize differences between people. I don't think that is a bad thing. We shouldn't pretend away our differences, we should celebrate them!

[doremi]

I agree with everyone else, it is totally normal. I remember when Josiah was about two, we were at my Mom's house, and she had some workmen painting her house. Josiah was in a happy mood, smiling and playing, but every time he saw one of the workers, he clammed up and looked frightened. I finally put two and two together and realized he had never been around Mexican men before, and he was freaked out by how different they looked from all the men he did spend a lot of time with! So, yes... even little ones recognize differences between people. I don't think that is a bad thing. We shouldn't pretend away our differences, we should celebrate them!

[~*Kixs*~]

Very normal! Lily is still in that egocentric stage (as all pre-schoolers are) where she relates everything back to her. It is great that she is self ware and can identify other people similar (and opposite) of her.

Maybe just follow up it up with a lesson about how people come in all different colors we are all the same on the inside. She might not get it yet but it is good ground work for later on.

Kaylie use to up so upset that she was pink like daddy and not brown like me (I am 1/2 mexican but have the dark hair, eye's, and olive skin). She eventually got over it.

[.Katie.]

What a smart girl!! I see nothing wrong with her discerning races! Kids get excited about things when they 'get it'. Also, at this age, they enjoy sorting and to me mentally placing people in groups based on ethnicity is one way of doing this.

Grandpa might just feel a little left out or less than since she is currently fascinated with this part of her heritage. He will get over it.

[Twhylite21]

Originally Posted by .Katie.

Grandpa might just feel a little left out or less than since she is currently fascinated with this part of her heritage. He will get over it.

That's what my mom said She thinks that my stepdad just feels kinda left out since he's the "odd" one out in the house.

Glad to hear that it seems normal though!