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I am new to this web site so writing to you for all eyes to see but if you live in the stars perhaps you'll catch wind of this letter......
when i missed my first cycle I knew you were there. it was as if i already knew you I'd rub my belly and talk to youwhile hard at work. Daddy and i kept you a secret for a couple more months, not out of shame but out of selfishness, because i knew that EVERYONE would put a downer on this blessing by saying you're too young, you can't afford a baby. Not a soul knew untill i got that uti from too little water......that was an embarassing day. But i had you!!!!!
Daddy had your name picked out for years, Serenity. your middle name came from your nana, Lorraine: you remember her she read you books in the hospital.
well at our 4 month check up the ultrasound revealed that you had gastroscisis. i knew it would be difficult but i was more than ready to try. but those bubbles it looked like you were blowing let me know you were ready too. we climbed some high mountains, and you tried your best for that i am proud.
The day you left was my bigest nightmare come true. that was the first time daddy ever held you and your grandma didn't make that day any easier. we all held you tight and said our good byes. you now have a teddy bear urn and i painted a portrait of you as a christmas gift to daddy.
for your first birthday we had our closest of friends and family over i made cupcakeshad a one year candle set up for you and our friends and family sang happy birthday to you. god that made me want to cry, it was so sweet!!!
always know i love you as our favorite book says "i'll love you forever. i'll like you for always. As long as i'm living my baby you'll be"
Serenity Lorraine Lelli 3/20/07-4/13/07
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby girl[/b]
thank you soooo much and i too am so sorry for your loss ALL of your little girls are Beautiful!!!!!! whenever i can make my way to a friends house that has a scanner i will be sure to post a picture for you to see. she was a very beautiful girl. and now we several beautiful angels dancing to the melody of harps as they wait for us to join them in heaven.
to day is a particularly lonesome day. i miss you sooo much. theres not a day that goes by that i don't think about you. Most days its all the happy thoughts that i have about how lucky i am to be blessed with just loving you even for only three weeks was better than none. but today like so many others i can't get that woeful day out of my head. and the moment replays itself as if it were yesterday and it hurts just the same.....i miss you dearly tell great grandma hi for me and give her a hug with those beatiful little hands!!!!!! xoxoxo mommy loves you.
athough the emptiness is consuming, my love for you keeps me strong