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:: My dear sweet little angel Jayden. I miss you so much. Tonight i cant sleep or stop crying, I keep thinking of your sweet smile & how you reached up for me to hold you. How you smelt in my arms..The way you felt & your sweet laugh. Everything you have ever said repeats in my head..over & over..I wish i could tell you i loved you one more time...I wish i could hug & kiss you one more time. I hope your birthday in heaven was amazing. I thank god i got 2 of them with me. So close to 3. I guess he needed you more. I just wish he knew how much i need you. Im always thinking of you..Sometimes i wake up & cry because i thought i could just look over & you be in bed beside me. . You are such a smart beautiful little girl. So beyond your years. so perfect in everyway. Im sorry we didnt give you the brother you wanted for xmas. We are gonna give you a brother soon we hope..Im sure you know this because you will meet your brother/sister before we do. I still hold some of your old toys..& i look at your pictures everyday.. I love you so much tatertot & i wish you were still here with me. I blame myself alot..I never should have let you go that day..If you would have stayed home with me & daddy you would still be alive :'(. Im sorry babygirl. Mommy is suppose to protect you & i couldnt :"(. I love you soo much Jayden. You saved me..You are my world,my everything. My biggest hero my biggest accomplishment .I know your safe with god & that your happy & healthy i just wish u were here . I love you jayden