January 26th, 2010, 10:14 AM
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Newbie
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 5
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Just wanted to share my story quickly for those who have lost hope.
I got pregnant in 2006 and was absolutely beaming. The timing was perfect, and I could not have been happier. When I went in for my first doctor's appointment, however, the doctor told me the heartbeat was very slow, and I most likely would lose the baby. I cried all the way back to the office, and had to borrow a co-worker's cell phone and find an empty door lobby where I could tell my husband without everyone hearing my sobs. After the heart stopped I had a D&C at about 12 weeks. That was the first one.
Even after the second and third miscarriage, I still felt like I had a good chance. Factor V, chromosome, and other blood tests all came back normal. A lot of times I wished they would find something wrong so we knew what to fix. I started on low-dose aspirin and progesterone. But after my fourth miscarriage, I had an unbearable loss of hope. I wouldn't look at pregnant women, couldn't go to baby showers, I'd even turn the channel when diaper commercials came on. I always thought I was a very stable person, but infertility can rock you.
I had my first appointment with a doctor at a local University who specialized in recurrent miscarriage. He said I had an interesting case, me being so young (almost 27) and having so many losses in such a short amount of time (4 in 2 years). He wanted to assemble a few other doctors and come up with a plan for my next pregnancy. I was told to make another appointment, and NOT to get pregnant until we were all ready. A week before the next appointment, I realized I was 7 weeks pregnant.
I was devastated. What a waste of time! Now I was going to have to wait this loss out before I could even begin with these other doctors. Not only had I not been taking my aspirin or progesterone, I hadn't even been taking prenatals. I went in anyway to see if we could see anything to help figure out what was wrong. The doctor did an ultrasound like always, but he must have been using a machine that was different than what I was used to, because all I saw was a black spot, and thought, oh great, all I got this time was a sac. But he looked at it and said, "I see heartbeat. A strong one."
I went on to have a flawless full-term pregnancy and gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy. Somehow my body figured it out on the fifth time, and I believe prayer also played a part.
During my obsessive research, I found very few cases of fertile women just miscarrying their whole lives without ever having a live birth. The stats are with us!
Nothing will heal this type of pain like finally having a baby, it seems to go away in an instant. Although I also feel like adopting a baby would have been equally rewarding. I hope those on this forum looking for answers (I spent a lot of time on this forum during that period) can find some strength during such an unparalleled trial.
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