[shen7]

So tomorrow, according to my calendar, I will be 20 weeks along!!!! It seems totally amazing that I've gotten this far after all the turmoil and drama of my first 14.5 weeks... worried about another ectopic... then all those bleeds, including the MASSIVE one at 12 weeks where I was totally sure I'd lost the pregnancy... the constant, often heavy brown spotting, when I wasn't bleeding red... and finally my big ultrasound at 14.5 weeks, which showing no placenta problems or active SCHs, and the remains of a large SCH sitting on top of my cervix, and a healthy baby girl! About a week after that, the spotting went away and STAYED away, and my morning sickness and anxiety eased up, and I started actually gaining weight after losing like 10 lbs initially.

The holidays were good overall. I ate a lot and tried to sleep all I could with the wacky holiday schedule of my in-laws. It was sometimes hard to see my SIL's huge belly - she's a couple weeks behind where I would have been with my ectopic, so even though my belly was just starting to show a little, it just felt sort of inadequate sometimes, compared to her. But those feelings weren't overwhelming, just occasional sadness. And then I had a VERY eventful 2-3 days, where I had a weird recurrence of morning sickness, broke a million blood vessels in my face and around my eyes randomly during a puking episode (so I looked all diseased suddenly), could barely move from being so sick and exhausted... then suddenly my belly POPPED, and then suddenly we felt the baby move for the first time! From the outside! That was so exciting, I can't even describe it. I've felt her occasionally since then, but not every day.

Two days ago, I had my big anatomy ultrasound. Our little girl is definitely a girl, and measured 20 weeks even though I was 19w4d, consistent in all the proportions/measurements except for some rather long legs and big feet which is hilarious if you look at me and DH. We can't even buy shoes in normal shoe stores, we both have huge feet, and are both quite tall!! She looked just perfect. I am so grateful and so hopeful finally that everything will work out well and we will have a healthy baby girl in our arms in June.

I have been busy signing up for childbirth classes, creating a baby registry, planning my travel and home improvement projects to do before baby comes, and occasionally feeling very nervous... about breastfeeding, if the house and nursery will be in good shape, if we'll have everything we need, if we will be drowning in useless crap, whether I'll do everything or anything right (or at least "good enough") as a first-time mom... but I'm already so excited to meet her, see what her hair and her eyes and her nose and her second toe and her earlobes look like... what her personality is like... I love her so much already... okay I will stop there before I start crying onto the keyboard!!!!

Sticky baby dust to all my wonderful TTCAL ladies... I love you guys and am still constantly lurking!

[msshamis23]

I'm so happy for you Sarah!!! (i'm not gonna lie I sometimes go into your DDC to see if you've updated!)

Graduates ALWAYS give me hope, but you do it for me twofold--because you are also an ectopic survivor like me! Keep us updated sweetie! Just try and relax as much as you can though!

Go team pink!

[shen7]

Thanks Amy! Us ectopic survivors have to stick together... I also stalk you, hehe... it seems like you've been through CRAZINESS lately with all your accidents, bites, natural disasters etc. I hope you have a more peaceful (and predictably cyclical) 2011 and get your womby sticky bean!!! I wanna see you in PAL

[msshamis23]

LOL thank you Sarah! It's true though isn't it? Honestly? What with all that has been going on, I think I'm well prepared to handle a (eventful, or uneventful) pregnancy!

[ohnicole]

Sarah, that was such an amazing update! I couldn't be happier for you!!

[missy123]

Awesome update....

You are going to be an awesome mommy. Your fears of not knowing what to do are rational, I felt them with my first 2 boys but instinct kicks in the second your baby is born and you just seem to "know" what to do.

I sneak into PAL once in a while and check on you.

[Celena]

Awe what a beautiful update!!!!

The weeks have flown by and can't believe you're already almost 22 weeks! It's seems like yesterday you got your BFP I'm happy that things are going much smoother now for you both.

[shen7]

Wow, now I'm almost 22 weeks!! And feeling movement almost every day! She's keeping me up at night sometimes, hehe.

Thank you so much ladies Missy, thanks for the reassurance... all the choices and decisions do get to me at times, but once the baby is actually here, I hope it will be more one-foot-in-front-of-the-other, if that makes any sense??? I'm just really excited to hold her in my arms, I can't wait for June. Love is the most important thing, and she'll have TONS of it!!!!!

Sticky rainbow dust to you all... just to kick up the lucky bfp blinkie action a notch!!!