[milliemags]

Hi, i'm new to this site and to message boards actually so please excuse me if I do something wrong. I really just need some friends to advise me, help me, listen to me and just to talk to really. I'm a little messed up and confused at the moment. I lost my twins very early on in my pregnancy (I was only 5weeks). I know it was early but they were IVF twins hence how I knew so early. I've been told that had I conceived naturally I prob wouldn't have even known I was pregnant, which I agree with cause I didn't feel any different physically at all, but emotionally I felt elated and special and so so excited.

I have had two cycles of IVF, the 1st was cancelled because I didn't respond, the 2nd as you can see resulted in my twins. I had 12 embryos from the cycle, but only the two transfered back were viable. I feel elated that I got pregant with them but devastated that I miscarried them. I feel angry that i've had to go through all the IVF to get pregnant in the 1st place but to lose them seems so crual. I know i'm not the only person to have gone through this and thats why i'm here, my friends and family are wonderful but they won't mention the miscarraige or talk to me about the IVF, I know they're scared of upsetting me but I feel the need to sound off and acknowledge that this has happened. I don't feel I can sweep it under the carpet and forget about it but do realise I need to get over it somehow. My DH is fantastic, he holds me when I cry and trys to reassure me that we will have a baby in the future. I desperatly want to be a mum but i'm 36 now, the IVF was really hard and I will try again but how long do I try for, how much of this do I put us through? Will I get pregnant again? Will I miscarry again? I would love to hear from anyone, anyone who has experienced this, anyone who can just help me clear my head a little, anyone who will just listen and understand. Thank you all xxxx



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#2

[Trish36]

Hi honey, just found your post. We usually stick to the main area and forget to check for new posts in the subforums. Hope you are doing a bit better!