[My Name Is Carol]

This is the email I have sent to my RE.

My husband & I have discussed this at length, and even though I already have the medication & am less than a week away from the first ultra sound & blood work appt, we have decided to stop the process & all procedures for the time being. We are both really uncomfortable with going forward about having to pay out of pocket $13,000-$14,000 for a procedure that may or may not work. If the entire process could be billed to insurance as medical instead of infertility where the insurance would cover it, we would have no problem going that route, but I would feel awful if I took his 401K money that he has worked so hard for to go towards this procedure & it not work for the 2nd time. It would be almost like taking that money & going to Vegas, putting it all on black & letting it ride. I understand it is a crap shoot of sorts, & I've never been much of a gambler. Like I said, if it could be billed under our insurance as medical, we would proceed, but spending that kind of money on something that may or may not work, I can't take that risk & I won't let him do that. We are both at peace with this decision & will continue to try at home & pray.

Trust me. This was a tough decision to make, but I am at total peace about it. I wanted to let each of you know that I appreciate the support, kind words & words of encouragement over the past few months. Even though we are not going forward with IVF at this time, I hope you will all let me hang around with ya'll.

[Banned-Briibaybee]

I am sorry to hear that. I know the expenses can be a great deal of pressure. Our insurance does not pay. It worked for us with our daughter so we know it can work and are trying. I have a friend who decited to wait 4 years & by then they had the money for it & got pregnant there 1st time . I hope you get a BFP anyways ( if its possible sorry i just now came back ;(). & That you stick around

[BandGeek]

I, for one, would love for you to stick around! Thanks for sharing the letter and being here for us. No one truly understands what all it is that we go through unless they have dealt with it themselves.

[My Name Is Carol]

Thanks guys. I appreciate it. On a side note, I got an email back from my RE & I don't know whether to be pissed off or laugh at it. I'll explain after you read it.....

Thank you for the kind words and I completely respect your thoughtful and difficult decision. I am looking back over your history and if you will plan to continue on your own at home, one other idea might be to look at your right tube which spilled dye but was somewhat dilated. This would be covered by your insurance (I believe) and might possibly help. We can just talk over ways that may add to your efforts at home. A laparoscopy is a possible option although I think that the main problem is age and egg quality but miracles do happen!I do not want to confuse your attempts to close a door and open a new one but just wanted to let you know what I was thinking. You could make an appointment and we could discuss in more detail. Feel free to say thanks but no thanks! Sometimes it is just enough aready!


Ok. I'm in an uproar because this is the SAME RE that told me BOTH my tubes were COMPLETELY blocked & the only way to conceive is via IVF. NOW, NOW she's going to mention a laparoscopy?? Now she's going to say that age & egg quality are the main problems? Um..why the hell didn't she tell me this back in March? I could've gone through the lap, recovered & tried ON MY OWN without spending all the money we've spent thus far. UGH. I just can not believe it. Just. Can't.

[BandGeek]

Oh my goodness, Carol! I am so sorry that you are having to go through with this. I don't know what kind of insurance you have (mine stinks!), but some will pay for IVF if that is the only way that it would work. Of course, there is a lot of red tape I am sure to have to prove this, but if both of your tubes were blocked. I agree that all of this could have been dealt with before.......before all of that money was spent!!! Some doctors (I hate to say b/c I have family that are doctors) are just out for the money. It shouldn't be that way, but some are.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you or a quick fix, but I don't. I hate this for you and I cannot believe it either!!!! Keep us posted on what you decide! Good luck and I will be thinking about you!

[My Name Is Carol]

I have Cigna through my husband & it has $20k infertility coverage. We have already exhausted that with the first IVF round we did that failed. UGH. I am just...I don't know what I am. LOL. I made an appt with my GYN but it's not til Sept & I'm going to check with her about what she thinks. UGH.

[BandGeek]

Wow! $20K is good compared to my $5K lifetime coverage, but I understand how quickly it gets gone. At least you have time until Sept. and can think about things and go from there.