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I'm new here, just learned today that we may have to use donor sperm with IVF and it came as a bit of a shock. I haven't even had a chance to talk it over with my husband yet (he's still at work), but just wanted to see if anyone on here has gone through something similar.
We recently found out that my husband's motility wouldn't allow for natural pregnancy and combined with some issues I have (Natural Killer Antibodies, low progesterone etc), we've been told IVF would be the best (only) option for us.
After a repeat sperm analysis, we have been bumped from our initial Feb IVF cycle date in order to see if some supplements may help my husbands' numbers (on the latest analysis he had no motile sperm.) So, now we're waiting for the April IVF date, but in the meantime, our doctor told us that we also need to decide if we're willing to use donor sperm in case his numbers do not improve by the time we do the retrieval.
So, now, I'm a) sad that we can't do the Feb IVF cycle and b) completely confused as to what to think about sperm donation.
While ideally I'd love to have a child that's biologically my husband and mine, I know I will love our child regardless of genetics. However, I'm worried about how my husband will feel.
Has anyone been through anything like this? Any words of advice?
I am Gretchen. We are doing IVF and we have severe male issues. My husband has bad morphology therefore they are all shaped wrong. We are using IVF with ICSI to get past the shape issue. Why can't your RE do that? Are you familiar with ICSI procedure. Also motility can be corrected with supplements. Morphology can't be corrected.
Also - if you are going to use donor sperm then why wouldn't you do iui instead of ivf? This whole thing doesn't sound right to me.
We are doing IVF/ICSI but using donor egg. We need to use donor egg because of my age. We want to make our odds better for it to work and using my 43 year old eggs makes it really low success rates.
my dh wouldn't use donor sperm because he wants a kid. I have one and this is our first together so I can understand. Go to the TTC with Male infertility - there are few on there that have used donor sperm with iui. Also on TTC medical assistance there are a few that used donor sperm too.
Thanks for your response. My husband has pretty severe issues and on his last sperm analysis he had no sperm motility. Apparently this means the sperm are dead and they can't use them for ICSI. The doctor has told us that they will use any sperm that are even twitching for ICSI, but can't use them if they have no motility at all. We're hoping the supplements will help gets his motility a bit better so that we'll be more likely to be able to use his sperm. The donor sperm would only be a backup if his semen on the day of retrieval isn't motile at all.
In addition to his issues, I have an autoimmune issue that treatment for is better while doing IVF.
My husband and I spoke last night and he seems pretty comfortable with using donor sperm, but he's questioning whether he would want to ask his brother to be the donor for the closest genetic match. There are definitely pros and cons to this and will take some time to figure out. I'm hopeful it won't come to donor sperm at all, but so far every road we've taken has had a road block, so who knows at this point.
Hi Ingrid, I was going to say the same thing as Gretchen regarding ICSI...but wanted to mention that other than supplements...(there is a pill called motility boost out there). But L-Carnitine, L-Arginine and Acetyl L-Arginine are great for helping boost sperm, as well as Vitamin E and Zinc.
Lastly, acupuncture has been show to help dramatically increase sperm quantity, quality and motility in as little as 3 months. Not to mention, it can relax your DH and that's just good for everyone.
Best of luck to you!
__________________ TTC#1 since 10/2006, 5 failed IUI's, 1st IVF successful BFP!! Baby Girl 2/2011
TTC#2 BFP 9/2011, Natural Pregnancy! 3/30/12 M/C'd on 5/15/12 (9 weeks)
IVF#2 BFP 4/2013 M/C 6/2/13 (8 weeks)
FET #1 BFP 8/2013 - Chemical Pregnancy
IVF #3 - Retrieval Oct 31st, Txferred 2 on 5d - a Blast and Morula - Chemical Pregnancy
IVF #4 - ER scheduled for 4/4/14 retrieved 4 eggs. Txferred 3 embryos 4/7/14!....BFN...NOW WHAT?
Check out my NEWBORN Hats and Baby Items
Ingrid - take your time to figure it out and make sure DH is okay with it. It took me a good solid year to be Okay with donor egg. Now I am completely comfortable with it. However, DH seems to be struggling a little now with it now that we are actually starting IVF now. I think he has brushed it under the rug and has to deal with it now were as I’ve been dealing with it for a year now.
DH wants to keep it anonymous and a secret where I want to tell and have it not be anonymous.
I would not be comfortable if I were him using brothers sperm though. I just wouldn’t – I wouldn’t want it to seem weird to my kid someday that your uncle is really your DNA donor. You know? That is just me though. Good luck to you. If I can be of any help let me know.
Yes - have him try acupunture too. Mine wouldn't but count and motility can be improved. Morhphology not so much. Good luck.
Me (43) DH(33) 12 years together - ttc our first together-I have 14yr old DS
Cycles 1-6 = BFN
Cycle 7 SA results abnormal morphology 2%, 50 mg clomid = BFN
Cycle 8 sonogram normal 50 mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 9 SA results abnormal morphology and motility. Count 200 mill, 100mg clomid + trigger = BFN
Cycle 10 natural = BFN
Cycle 11 hsg tubes clear, natural + trigger+IUI = BFN
Cycle 12 repronex + trigger + 2 IUI = BFN
Cycle 13 natural ovaries to stimulated for more meds = BFN
Cycle 14-22 natural cycle with Acupuncture and planning ivf/icsi/DE = ALL BFN
Cycle 23 Clomid 50 mg & Progesterone = BFN
Cycle 24 Natural = BFN
Cycle 25 BCP, SA result 7% morphology = BFN
Cycle 26 BCP and Lupron preparing for IVF
Cycle 27 IVF Acupuncture, DE Retrieval April 7, Transfer April 12 =
7 eggs retrieved, 3 fertilized, 2 transferred - zero snow babies
BETA # 1 16DPO or 11dp5dt = 569
BETA # 2 19 DPO or 14dp5dt = 1078
BETA # 3 22DPO or 17dp5dt = 2414 TWINS!
BETA # 4 30DPO or 25dp5dt = 12,685 6weeks 3days 2 heartbeats! 114 & 116
Clayton and Colton Born @ 34 weeks 11/22/13
We certainly don't want to give up on my husband's sperm either, but have been told we need to be prepared with a backup plan when we do the egg retrieval (scheduled for April 1, right now.) I'm terrified of all the drugs needed to just get us to the egg retrieval point and I can't handle the idea of not having any chance to fertilize the eggs that will (hopefully) be produced. I just suspect it will be a horrible process and I don't want it to go to waste. We're still very hopeful that we'll be able to use his sperm though. He started taking Proceptin and Clomid and I'm hoping that will give us at least enough motile sperm to work. We'll do a repeat sperm analysis in March and I guess will go from there on whether we need to be prepared with donor sperm in April.
Hi! My husband has cystic fibrosis and we are trying IVF for the first time right now. However we were told that they may be unable to retrieve any sperm. Worst part is that I have to go through the whole IVF process before we will know for sure. Getting a sperm donor was mentioned to us. My husband was completely against it. I understand how it hurts him however, if its our only option I hope he wil change his mind.
Hi there- just poking my head in. We've done 3 IUI's with donor sperm and chose to use from a sperm bank rather than a known donor. We were able to pick a donor that was a fairly close match between my husband and I so that things would be as close as possible. It took him a long time to get okay with the idea of donor sperm so don't rush yourself if you ned more time
2006-2014 6+ years of NTNP, TTC, TTCMA, Losses, Surgeries, and Diagnoses.
RPL and Genetic Tests came back 100% normal | Endo, PCOS, severe MFI
Multiple early losses between 3 and 8 weeks.
Broken in heart, mind, and body. On a break until Summer 2016