[Mod-LadyCoconut]

That thread I posted about the guy in Michaels thinking I was pregnant... it's really gotten to me. I feel so helpless and like I have absolutely no control. Like this weight will just NEVER come off and I can't do it and I'll always feel this way. I've lost weight in the past, so I know I'm capable... I just can't seem to find it in me to DO it everyday.

I'm thinking of just stocking up on a ton of lean cusines and other frozen meals, and, despite their being high in sodium, just eating those for every meal. I don't know why I can't get it together. There's some mental block or something that just won't allow me to do it.

I don't know what to do or how to be supported. I've sobbed to DF and my mom about needing help with this... and just praying they'll take over and be like "eat this now... eat this then" or come up with some kind of plan. Then I'll probably feel even less in control, but I just HAVE to get this weight off and I don't feel like I can do it on my own right now. It makes me wish I lived alone b/c sometimes I'll be fine but Ben will be hungry and go out to pick up food or make something and offer to get me something and I always say yes. I get cravings in the worst way and they won't subside until I have it. Being in here and trying to have people hold me accountable just makes me feel guilty for not succeeding.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how bad I have to feel before it's enough to turn this around.

[soImarriedAnerd]

First of all that guy was an A-hole, so don't let others make you feel bad about yourself. Second i am sorry if we make you feel guilty for being accountable....all i try to push people to do is chart what they are doing and weight in. If its "good" or "bad" it doesnt matter its the slow though process of noticing your actions that i push for. Heck i have put on 6lbs since starting on here.
I don't think what your feeling is unusual either. I bet 5 nights a week i stay up at bed time thinking....well i could have/should have done this today and didn't. Then i think....well tomorrow i will do better and start better then. But i rarely if ever do. My mother was a bulemic/anorexic during my pre-teen years.....that had a huge impact on me. Part of me thinks, well i could just throw up a meal here and there and control it so it wouldn't be a problem (don't worry i have never done it-and i realize that screams i need therapy LOL). Funny thing is my motivation (if you want to call what i am doing right now as motivated LOL) is that I don't want my future children picking up my habbits and self vision problems. I am not doing this for myself...honestly because i don't think i like myself enough to do it for me. But i do think i can do it for the future kids, so thats how i try to think of it. I am TRYING to stop my negative comments about myself (fricken hard), and try to think of myself as a baby machine.....so i want to be healthy physically and emotional and mentally prepared for said babies. Unfortunately I feel I am already failing as a parent because I am gaining wt and not getting much healthier.....there i go again....I think we just are to dang hard on ourselves-WHY DO WE BEAT OURSELVES UP!!!!!
We all deserve so much better.
I wish i had a personal trainer and chief to follow me around, I wish my DH would support me more, I wish He would QUIT offering me crap food when he knows i am trying to be healthier-he is getting better, i sometimes wish he would harass me about what i eat and other times i wish he would just let me do it on my own.
Not sure if anything i said makes you feel better or worse. But just know I am here for you, if you want to eat a gallon of ice cream or nothing but veggies, i am here NO MATTER WHAT!

[JediRach]

Shannon,

I feel you sister. After an exercise free day full of junk I always feel guilty. I don't know where my will power goes! Tomorrow is my start anew day. I've made a chart of my meals and snacks for the week. Hopefully it will help me stay on track. Maybe that would help you?

[midnight_starr]

Shannon we are all here for you!! You have been my main motivation in my losing weight journey and you have helped me out soooooo much with all this WW stuff.. Don't let one stupid person make you feel down.. It is so not worth it to dwell on something someone said!!! I am here for you and now I can help motivate you like you've motivated me!!! You can do it Shannon and stocking up on lean cuisines isn't a bad idea... It has the points on it and it makes things real easy.. Sometimes cooking is just a pain in the butt!! We can do this together!! I am here for you anytime. PM me anytime if you just need to vent or if you just need a little extra motivation!!! I have become a wateraholic because of you!! Thanks for everything you have done for me!!!!!

[jenmommy]

aww, I think you are just feeling overwhelmed, I know that feeling...

Big Hug for you...

too much at one time....

try this...instead of beating yourself up...just follow four very small and simple rules...

Eat when you are hungry...don't get ravenous...
Eat what you want...
Don't get stuffed, close your eyes while you are eating to listen to your tummy.
don't eat while doing other things...

when you are overwhelmed, you are more likely to emotionally eat...and that will make your guilt even worse...

I would not recommend trying to follow any huge regimen right now, because I think you need baby steps...to show yourself you can do it, and you can take control of this...

although it will feel good being motivated by someone constantly in your ear, you actually will not benefit like you think from this...you'll be motivated to a certain point, then rebel, and then be mad at your motivator..

I know about eating disorders, I had both at the same time...and I really buckled down, carried around nutrition charts with me, and studied nutrition like mad...you have to know your enemy...that's what I felt..

except food isn't the enemy--you're attitude towards it is what is unhealthy...

don't worry, you also have a great support system here with us...

[kl_life]

Is there an echo in here....

Shannon....I'm passing the punching bag over to you now....go ahead...take a few jabs...us girls will hold it for you....kick it - punch it - knee it - scream...just let it out!!!!!!!


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))


Honey I am soooo sorry. Obviously I know how devestating that is.....and no matter what NO ONE has the right to say anything like that. It's like getting punched in the stomach and having the wind knocked out of you....takes everything in you to still stay standing....and I'm soo sorry that you are having to go through that.

I totally can relate to everything...and literally everything that you just said. It's kinda scary that your thoughts mimick my thoughts exactly. I wish I knew what to say but if I did I wouldn't be trying to figure it all out myself.

We are all in here to support one another through the good and the bad.....the ups and the downs! Everyone is different and we all are trying to figure out what works for ourself. It's a tough thing to have to go through. We get it - don't ever feel like your alone.

I personally think that I have to learn to love myself for all that I am and all that I am not. And when I am able to do that and accept myself I think a lot of things that I struggle with will only be 1/2 the struggle to overcome. I would never categorize myself as a really religous person however a year ago I really opened my heart to God and I am soo glad that I did. I realized then that I couldn't and didn't have to do it on my own. That it was much deeper than just turning to my husband and expecting him to carry and correct my troubles for me. I often remind myself of the words from Mother Theresa "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me soo much". Sometimes I really wish that he didn't trust me soo much.....but I know he believes in me....I just have to believe in myself!

sorry...didn't mean to ramble....

Love & Hugs....know that we are here for you!

[Lulu-n-Peanut]

Oh Shannon I am so sorry about what that guy said to you. That was inappropriate on so many levels. And, from the picture I saw of you, you do not look pg. I am fairly new to WW, but for me, I had to pick a start date and tell myself I was going to stick with it. I messed around for a few days, but new that April 1st was going to be the start of me getting healthier. So, maybe you can pick a few days away from now and psyche yourself up for it.
I have found this group to be very supportive, so just remember you have a cheering section with us. You CAN do this!

[lupti]

Hugs, Shannon!! That guy was a MAJOR butthead (i have better words, but they would get censored). I am so sorry this has upset you so much.

We are all here as a support system for one another and we are here for you!!